Revision—Mechanics

#12 APR 06

Quotation Marks for Articles

UNCORRECTED
In the Milton Friedman’s piece The Island of Stone Money, I noticed the idea.

CORRECTED
In Milton Friedman’s piece, “The Island of Stone Money,” I noticed the idea.

#13 APR 06

Capital I

UNCORRECTED
When i came across the article by Milton Friedman named The Island of Stone Money, i was intrigued.

CORRECTED
When I came across the article by Milton Friedman titled “The Island of Stone Money,” I was intrigued.

#14 APR 06

Inline Citation, not MLA

Use inline citation INSTEAD of the MLA parenthetical method.

UNCORRECTED
Friedman also discussed an instance where the french technically owned some portion of gold. However, they never physically retrieved the gold, instead a deal was made with the U.S and was stored in a drawer on our homeland. (Friedman)

CORRECTED
Friedman further demonstrated the abstract nature of ownership with an anecdote in which the French took possession of some US gold not by physically retrieving it but by agreeing to leave the gold in the US in a drawer labeled “France.”

#15 APR 06

Eliminate “Due to”

Money only has value due to the fact that everyone wants it.
“Due to” means “caused by,” so your sentence would read:
Money only has value caused by the fact that everyone wants it.
You’d probably agree that a better version would be:
Money only has value because everyone wants it.

#16 APR 06

Correct Placement of “Only”

Money only has value because everyone wants it.
“Only” modifies the word that follows it.
Your sentence, therefore, means: Money only has value. It can’t earn value, lose value, find value, etc.
You’d probably agree that a better version would be:
Money has value only because everyone wants it.

#17 APR 06

“Used to,” not “Use to”

Before the invention of money, people use to barter or trade fro things they wanted.
The phrase for things often happened in the past is “used to.”
Your sentence, therefore, should be:
Before the invention of money, people used to barter or trade for things they wanted.

#18 APR 06

Different What?

An example of this is trading cattle for different herbs, spices, or supplies.
Different from what?
An example of this is trading cattle for herbs, spices, or supplies.

#19 APR 06

Different What?

Money however is a form of middle man.
When it interrupts a sentence, however is surrounded by commas.
Money, however, is a form of middle man.

#20 APR 06

Eliminate kind of, sort of, type of, and form of

Money, however, is a form of middle man.
Unless you’re going to distinguish between kinds or types or forms of middle man, you should avoid the words kind, and type, and form.
Money, however, is a middle man.