There is a huge problem in Vancouver with heroin addicts committing crimes to support their habits. The “free heroin for addicts” program is doing everything they can to stop the addicts. The problem is that there is a large crime rate due to the addicts. It is obvious that addicts have a hard time getting through their day to day lives. Daily activities such as jobs, interactions, and relationships are hard to maintain because of the fact that they are using. By heroin users being addicted, they will do whatever they have to do to get their hands on the drug. The types of crimes committed are those of breaking and entering as well as stealing. There are no limits to where they will go to retrieve this drug so that they can feed their addiction. The problem with this program is that it won’t help to ween these addicts off using heroin. It is only trying to save the city from rising crime rates that they’re up to. By providing the drug, these addicts will be off the streets, which in turn will prevent them from committing minor street crimes. This will also keep the heroin users out of the hospital. It is pointless that the hospitals have to deal with people that want to use bad drugs or unsanitary needles and find themselves being unable to afford hospital bills and hard to cope without the drug. This program gives people free heroin in the cleanest way possible. This will in turn fix the city but not the addiction that these people face.

1.There is a huge problem in Vancouver with heroin addicts committing crimes to support their habits.

The problem: The sentence takes a little time to get to the main point of what the subject is. It should describe what the addicts in Vancouver are doing first.

The fix: Eliminate the “There is.”.

Rewrite: In Vancouver, heroin addicts are committing crimes to support their habits and its a huge problem.

2.The “free heroin for addicts” program is doing everything they can to stop the addicts.

The problem: The weak “is”

The fix: Eliminate the “is”

Rewrite: The “free heroin for addicts” program are doing everything they can to stop the addicts.

3. The problem is that there is a large crime rate due to the addicts.

The problem: The weak “is that there is” ,this sequence of words are prolonging the main point.

The fix: Eliminate the “is that there is.”

Rewrite: Large crime rates due to the addicts are causing a problem.

4.It is obvious that addicts have a hard time getting through their day to day lives.

The problem: The weak “It is”

The fix: Eliminate “It is”

Rewrite: Addicts have a hard time getting through their day to day lives and its becoming obvious.

5. Daily activities such as jobs, interactions, and relationships are hard to maintain because of the fact that they are using.

The problem: The part of the sentence where its saying “… because of the fact that they are using”, it doesn’t describe what they are in fact using. And the extra “that”.

The fix: Describe what they are using so the reader could understand. Eliminate “that”.

Rewrite: Daily activities such as jobs, interactions, and relationships are hard to maintain because of the fact they are using heroin.

6. By heroin users being addicted, they will do whatever they have to do to get their hands on the drug.

The problem: At the start of the sentence it says “By heroin users being addicted” , we already know that they are addicted to heroin. The cause of that comes second.

The fix: Get rid of the first part of the sentence.

Rewrite: Heroin addicts will do whatever they can to get their hands on it.

7. The types of crimes committed are those of breaking and entering as well as stealing.

The problem: They are prolonging the types of crimes they commit.

The fix: Describe the crimes first.

Rewrite: Breaking and entering as well as stealing are some of the crimes that they commit.

8.There are no limits to where they will go to retrieve this drug so that they can feed their addiction.

The problem: It could be rewritten in a better way.

The fix: Rewrite the sentence.

Rewrite: To retrieve this drug, there are no limits or lengths a heroin addict would go.

9. The problem with this program is that it won’t help to ween these addicts off using heroin.

I personally do not see a problem with this sentence.

10. It is only trying to save the city from rising crime rates that they’re up to.

The problem: It could be rewritten better

The fix: Getting rid of the “is”

Rewrite: It’s only trying to reduce the crime rate from heroin addicts more than helping them.

11. By providing the drug, these addicts will be off the streets, which in turn will prevent them from committing minor street crimes.

I personally do not see any problem with this sentence.

12. This will also keep the heroin users out of the hospital.

The problem: The weak “This” at the beginning of the sentence.

The fix: Eliminate “This”

Rewrite: The Hospital wouldn’t have so many heroin users.

13. It is pointless that the hospitals have to deal with people that want to use bad drugs or unsanitary needles and find themselves being unable to afford hospital bills and hard to cope without the drug.

The problem: The weak “is” and “that”. The use of the word “bad” could be replaced with a better synonym. And could be split into two sentences.

The fix: Get rid of “is” and “bad”

Rewrite: It’s pointless that hospitals have to deal with people who want to use disagreeable drugs or unsanitary needles. By doing so, they find themselves being unable to afford hospital bills and difficult to cope without the drug.

14. This program gives people free heroin in the cleanest way possible. This will in turn fix the city but not the addiction that these people face.

The problem: This sentence could be combine with the conjunction “and” to make a singular sentence. And rewritten in a better way.

Rewrite: The program gives addicts free heroin in the cleanest way possible and in turn fix the city but not the addiction these people face.

Whole Rewrite:

In Vancouver, heroin addicts are committing crimes to support their habits and it’s a huge problem. The “free heroin for addicts” program are doing everything they can to stop the addicts. Large crime rates due to the addicts are causing a problem. Addicts have a hard time getting through their day to day lives and it’s becoming obvious. Daily activities such as jobs, interactions, and relationships are hard to maintain because of the fact they are using heroin. Heroin addicts will do whatever they can to get their hands on it. To retrieve this drug, there are no limits or lengths a heroin addict would go. The problem with this program is that it won’t help to ween these addicts off using heroin. It’s only trying to reduce the crime rate from heroin addicts more than helping them. By providing the drug, these addicts will be off the streets, which in turn will prevent them from committing minor street crimes. The Hospital wouldn’t have so many heroin users. It’s pointless that hospitals have to deal with people who want to use disagreeable drugs or unsanitary needles. By doing so, they find themselves being unable to afford hospital bills and difficult to cope without the drug. The program gives addicts free heroin in the cleanest way possible and in turn fix the city but not the addiction these people face.