0:00
The scene opens up to an African American family of four, they seem to be from America based on their style of clothing, and are dressed rather casual, they are standing in front of what appears to be a house, both of the parents hands are full, they are carrying a lot of things including but not limited to: food, drinks, stroller, toys artifacts of clothing, bags filled with items, and more including a baby. They seem to be about middle class, the parents seem to be 30s to 40s with the 2 children seeming to be about 2-5. The son is the younger one and the daughter is the older one. There is a bush placed in the corner of the screen, and the front door surrounded by bricks and a light in the background. They all seem to be looking out to the top left of the screen. Dad seems adventurous, Mom seems confused kids are looking elsewhere. One child is being held (seems to be the son) by the mom and the other child (seems to be the daughter) is kind of hidden behind a bag the dad is carrying.
0:01
Scene remains the same but pans out slightly with the mothers body having rotated 90 degrees in our direction and is now looking in the to her left, opposite of before. The video is playing in slow motion, i believe this may have been done to increase dramatic effect for the viewers.
0:02
The video has cut to what seems to be second or two into the future. The family is now a few steps ahead of where they were in the last clip. They are still holding everything everything that they were before. The dad is now looking at the mom, the mom is whipping her hair out of her face with a head movement to the right (from her point of view). Both kids are looking to their right. And more of the house has come into view you can now see a little of the roof and the window to their left. There also appears to be a bush below the window and a flag to the left of the door.
0:03
The camera cuts to a close up of moms face, she looks confident. The house in the background has been blurred to focus the attention to moms face. The director wants us to notice she is confident about something. Her eyes point to her right.
0:04
The camera cut back out to the first angle but they have moved forwards in time by a second or two, and they have taken a few more steps forwards. The mom is now confident and looking forwards with her hair blowing in the wind, the dad is now looking at the daughter, he looks like he’s telling her something while she is smiling and grabbing on to a toy that is shaped like fun color full shapes in a chain formation.
0:05
The camera cuts to a close up of the daughter. She is holding on to the colorful chain link toy. The director has made sure that this chain toy is in frame for some unknown reason. The toy is connected to the bag that the dad is carrying. Her facial expression has changed as it looks like she may be talking to the dad.
0:06
The Camera angle has changed a bit to move to the right but is keeping the daughter mostly centered. She is now looking at the dad while pulling on the colorful chain.
0:07
The camera cuts to a further angle again and chaos begins. The dad begins to drop everything while he has a bagel in his mouth. The stroller falls first, and the dad begins to follow and try to catch it. In the same second the camera cuts to a closeup of the mom and she is know concerned.
0:08
The camera cuts back to the original angle but they have moved further forwards again, and the dad is trying to adjust the stroller in his arm, and the mom is trying to lift the son up a little bit in order to get a better grip. I believe the director may be trying to give us an example of how fast chaos can erupt out of nowhere.
0:09
It seems the mother may have been bumped or is just slowly dropping the son as the camera cuts to her. She is slowly dropping out of frame (The video is still in slow motion) while holding the son. Her facial expression seems like she made be in a bit of pain.
0:10
The camera cuts to a close up of the dad with the moms face in the bottom right corner. He seems to be dropping everything and looks slightly distressed as he tries to catch everything.
0:11
The camera cuts to their left, while keeping everyone centered in the frame. You can see much greenery with a house behind it. There is also a tricycle just behind the family. I believe this is an attempt to display an attempt to communicate a healthy child hood emotionally. The daughter is still pulling the chain but is faced away from the camera. She has a backpack on that is shaped like a cartoonish dog head this may also be a more emotional attempt to connect with viewers. The dad seems to try and be resisting the daughters grip on the bag thorough the chains which he is holding.
0:12
The camera cuts to the dad trying to stuff a bagel in his mouth and while adjusting the stroller on his shoulder.
0:13
The camera moves back to the original location but they have moved on more. They are most likely headed to a car at this point as they are walking along a slight curve to the right where I could imagine a vehicle could be. The daughter is not in front and is no longer holding the chain.
0:14 The camera cuts to the dads shoes (on his feet), he is wearing a nicer dark brown pair of shoes, but his stance indicates he is in a very unstable stance. It quickly cuts back and he is stumbling in the background while the daughter is now in front with a big smile.
0:15
The camera changes to fit a car in view which appears to be parked in their driveway. There is a lot of greenery in the background with a tree behind it. The car is darker gray, and takes on the minivan shape. From my experience it is a newer Chrysler Pacifica. They all seem to be a bit more stable and in control as they walk to the car. The car is facing away from the camera, this is given by the taillight being in view but no headlights in view.
0:16
The scene remains the same as they have gotten a little closer to the car but the daughter has dropped her stuffed animal toy and her backpack on purpose as she begins to walk behind the car. She is most likely walking to the other side of the car.
0:17
The camera cuts to the a closer up angle of the car and the mom. The director seems to have aimed it at her from her 7 o’clock position. She is placing what appears to be her Nutri-bullet (copyright) filled with a chocolate shake on top of the car.
0:18
The camera cuts to the other side of the car and now the daughter and father are waiting for the driver side back door to open so they can start getting in an loading the car. He is looking at her while she watches the door.
0:19
The camera cuts back to the mom and son as they begin to enter the car as their passenger side back door is now open on their side.
0:20
The director is showing the father carefully place the daughter in her car seat making sure she is secured and safe. It shows 2 angles of how he is doing so. One from her 3 o’clock position and a close up on the car seat seatbelt
0:22 The daughter is spilling what seems to be a bowl of dry cereal, maybe Rice Krispie’s? all over the place. This is an attempt for the director to connect with viewers through pathos as more of a comedic family like chaos scene.
0:23-24
This scene is the same as 0:20 but with the mother and son.
0:25 – end
This is an advertisement on NHTSA.gov/TheRightSeat advertising how parents should ensure the safety and proper use of a car seat.
Counterintuitive Fall 2024 
Puffer, I haven’t done feedback on much of your work yet, since you haven’t posted a Definition argument and you didn’t put your Causal Rewrite into Feedback Please, so I don’t have a lot of experience critiquing your work yet. This is OK, but not exemplary. You’ve chosen a video that a dozen or more students have reviewed over the past couple semesters, so I’m extremely familiar with it. I could cut-and-paste feedback I have left for many students before you, but I’m going to start fresh and just concentrate on a central problem that shows up several times in your first paragraph and appears to repeat often. (Meanwhile, if you want to scan your classmates’ work and my feedback to them, either this semester or last, help yourself. The primary benefit of the blog is the opportunity to learn from one another.)
Your work has a bad case of the “it seems.”
In your first entry, you tell us that IT SEEMS
that the four African Americans are a family
that their clothing seems American
that the building seems to be a house
that the family seems middle class
that the parents seem to be 30-40ish
that the children seem 2-5
that Dad seems adventurous
that Mom seems confused
that one child seems to be the daughter
that the other child seems to be the son
I will not claim that describing HOW WE DRAW THESE JUDGMENTS is easy, but I did make very clear in the classroom presentation and in written instruction that while we may be able to rely on our judgments (after all, what’s the harm if we’re wrong?), we can’t expect our readers to have ANY IDEA how we came to those conclusions unless WE TELL THEM WHAT WE SAW that convinced us the family was middle class.
We judge what we’re looking at by drawing the most obvious and non-controversial conclusions we can from the visual elements in the video. The filmmakers rely on shorthand, and we do, too. That can involve stereotyping. In 30 seconds, if we’re going to tell a narrative, shorthand is essential.
The most obvious conclusion we can draw from an African American man and an African American woman of roughly the same age walking away from a house preceded by an African American boy and girl old enough to walk who are nonetheless hefting a stroller and enough gear for a day-long outdoor excursion is that they are a family leaving the house for a day trip. We assume they’re heterosexual, that they’re a couple, that they’re married, that the kids are theirs, that they didn’t adopt, that they don’t have an infant stashed somewhere, that the house they’re leaving is their own.
And maybe that’s what you mean by all those “appears”es, but you haven’t really told us what you see that leads you to those conclusions.
If all you said in your Introduction was “An African American family of four appears to be leaving the house for a day trip,” we’d have to imagine everything.
On the other hand, one glance at a vidcap from the first couple seconds of this video would give us most of the information. How would it do that? What cues would we be responding to?
Provisionally graded. Revisions are always strenuously encouraged (required, in fact, for the short arguments that go into your Portfolio), and Regrades are always available following substantial improvements.