Purposeful Summary- Starfire.04

Fabienne Cherisma’s death is a horrific one. Her death was not caused by the earthquake, but was caused from the gunshots of police officers. Photographers decided to take pictures of her mutilated body and showcase them to the world. Although the point of these pictures were to inflict sympathy and awareness on the sufferings in Haiti, it was still an insensitive action due to the fact that her body was completely exploited. They turned her limp and marred body into a symbol of representation of the suffering Haiti undergoes. The pictures caught worldwide attention and turned heads towards Haiti. But at what cost? Of course it is important to pay attention, build awareness, and bring donation and aid to places in the world that need it most. However, Fabienne was turned into a symbol of suffering. What about her family? Would they have wanted to mourn their loss personally and privately instead of having public display of her lifeless body? In the end, the intentions of the photographers were good, but unfortunately the intentions were also ignorant and insensitive. What of Fabienne’s personal story? Her memories? Will we ever view Fabienne as more than a symbol of suffering and know who she was as a person, daughter, and friend?

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1 Response to Purposeful Summary- Starfire.04

  1. davidbdale's avatar davidbdale says:

    I’m glad this turned up among your Drafts, Starfire.

    It’s not a bad draft, but it doesn’t treat readers as if they need context for your remarks. They DO need context, and it’s your job to provide it. They haven’t read the stories you’ve read, so they’re counting on you to tell them what happened BEFORE you tell them what it means. They have no reason to believe you about EVERYTHING.

    You ask reasonable questions, but you shouldn’t. You need to replace your Rhetorical Questions with bold, clear, declarative claims. Questions leave the reader to make up her own mind. You want to guide her to YOUR answers, not give her freedom to choose.

    Put your post into Feedback Please and Grade Pleaser following any significant improvements.

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