Visual Rewrite – Softball1321

00:00 Right from the jump, we can see a very happy man with the backseat car door open, obviously buckling in a child. We are unsure if this is his child or not, but the setting seems to be very positive. The sky is clear and blue, and the trees are green. Presumably, this could be taken in the spring time- considering the man is wearing a long sleeve blue flannel.

00:02 This clip panels over to the young boy. It seems he is a toddler, maybe 2 or 3 years old, considering he is talking and able to point his fingers. His car seat is also facing the back of the drivers seat, which may indicate he is the age of 2 or 3. The young boy seems to be very happy with the man he is with, showing he clearly knows him well and is comfortable around him.

00:05 After the man and the young boy are done having a good laugh while playing peek-a-boo, the man is shown buckling in the boy, ensuring safety on the car ride they are about to have.

00:07-00:10 This clip shows a young girl and she is with an older woman, maybe late 30’s or 40’s, indicating it could be her mother. These women are playing basketball in the driveway of their house. These two women are very happy and seem like they know each other well. They take a sip of water to hydrate themselves. Although this isn’t a clip of a parent or guardian strapping in a younger child in a car seat, it indicates happiness and relief, that whatever car seat the women used on her child, kept them safe and happy, and her child was able to grow healthy.

00:12-00:18 This clip shows a young teenage girl opening the passenger seat of her mother’s car, but her mother points for her to sit in the back seat with the kid who is strapped in the car seat. Sitting in the backseat with the child can help keep an eye on him, and make sure he is safe and comfortable, and even to keep him interactive during the ride.

00:20-00:30 These separate clips all show different ages of parents or guardians, and different ages of children being strapped into a car seat that fits perfectly to ensure safety on the ride.

Summary: This video of separate clips all show happiness from the different parent/guardians and children being strapped into car seats. This advertisement uses positive emotions to show the importance of why you should purchase a car seat that fits your child safely and comfortably, which maximizes protection in case of an accident. A properly fitting car seat supports their body correctly, reducing the risk of any possible injuries. Also, clearly shown in this video, if the child is comfortable in their car seat, they are less likely to fuss, making the car ride smoother for everyone.

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2 Responses to Visual Rewrite – Softball1321

  1. davidbdale's avatar davidbdale says:

    Softball, I’m uncomfortable with the length of your post. It seems impossible you could adequately describe 30 seconds of video sufficiently for me to fully understand what you’re seeing in so few words.

    00:00 Right from the jump, we can see a very happy man with the backseat car door open, obviously buckling in a child.

    —Are we inside the car or outside?
    —Do we see the man from the front, the side, the back?
    —Are we in closeup? Or viewing the scene from a distance?
    —Presumably we can see his face since you tell us he’s happy, but do we?
    —You’re giving us 2 seconds worth of information in your first segment; a lot can happen. A lot of information can be given.
    —How do you know it’s the backseat of a car?
    —It seems unlikely we could see the man’s face AND his act of buckling in a child in the same frame. Is there a cut you didn’t mention?
    —You also didn’t mention a car seat. So . . . is he buckling in the child to a standard lap/shoulder belt . . . or into a child safety seat with its own buckle apparatus? Is it the type that comes down over both shoulders?

    And on and on.

    —What sort of video do you assume you’re watching? Is this a new car ad? An ad for something else? Has the TV returned to “your original program”? Is this a public service announcement? A news report?
    —How’s the video quality? What do you conclude from that, if anything?
    —Does the man’s age, race, clothing, grooming, suggest anything at all?
    —How does it coincide with the same categories for the child?
    —Is this his child? His relative’s child? Is he kidnapping this child?

    We are unsure if this is his child or not, but the setting seems to be very positive.

    —Good. Thanks for clarifying that one.

    The sky is clear and blue, and the trees are green.

    —Are you suggesting that the setting was chosen to convey an overall positive message? Would the filmmakers have chosen a different setting if their intentions were even a bit sinister?

    00:02 This clip panels over to the young boy.

    —Are we, in that case, seeing the boy from the man’s point of view? If in two clips we’re shown what the boy sees of the man followed by what the man sees of the boy, then WE, the viewers, TAKE neither point of view. We objectively observe THE TWO of them together. In two shots, we focus on their MUTUAL RELATIONSHIP, “taking neither side.” Cooperation is established. Or conflict.

    It seems he is a toddler, maybe 2 or 3 years old, considering he is talking and able to point his fingers.

    —I believe at either 2 or 3 he’d likely still be required to ride in a child safety seat, though you didn’t say so at first. There might even be different seat types and sizes for 2- vs 3-year-olds. Do you know?

    His car seat is also facing the back of the drivers seat, which may indicate he is the age of 2 or 3.

    —Is that because REALLY young kids’ seats are designed to face BACKWARDS?

    The young boy seems to be very happy with the man he is with, showing he clearly knows him well and is comfortable around him.

    —We still don’t know much about this kid, but it’s good to know he’s comfortable (possibly related).
    —What are you starting to think? That it’s a car ad? That it’s a PSA about car seat safety?

    Remember, you’re judging these spots AS IF THEY SHOWED UP ON YOUR TV. The tags that YouTube adds to the screen would not be visible

    I’ve just watched the first second, and I would never have guessed at the amount of engagement going on between this highly animated young man and the child. We can see both in the first frames (as if we were seated on the passenger’s side of the car). You can’t actually tell whether it’s the back door or the front door of the car that’s open. You JUDGED that from a “likelihood” calculation. They are already sharing a joke or some joy while the man’s head and shoulders “enter” the car in which the child is already seated. He is open-mouthed, deliriously happy, emoting with perhaps imitation “surprise” to see who’s in the back seat. They are playing a game. Not a kidnapper.

    As the second second begins, when the child is holding up his four fingers and likely saying “four,” we can see the Side Head Supports that indicate he’s seated in a child safety seat, one that is mounted behind the driver. It is perhaps an odd choice, unless there are two children and two child seats. I think the default choice would be to seat a lone child on the rear passenger’s side so the driver could keep an eye on the child. Your thoughts? By the way, were we wrong about the child’s age? Is he “four”?

    As the time stamp reads 02:00, they’re outside the grocery store. The child is being buckled IN not OUT. They’ve been shopping for groceries together. “Dad” takes his kid on errands and DOES NOT LEAVE HIM in the car while he goes in to shop.

    Get the idea?

    Don’t wait for feedback on the rest of your work. Revise all the way through. Put the post into Regrade Please and/or Feedback Please following any significant improvements.

  2. davidbdale's avatar davidbdale says:

    Regraded. You never called my attention to the revisions you made following feedback. I’m glad I checked.

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