Visual Rewrite – Taco491

The ad starts with what seems to be a family of four coming out of a modern day house. We can presume this because the two adults are roughly the same age, both holding baby stuff, both African American, and even roughly dressed the same. The camera pans out slowly showing the house a few feet behind them. The house looks like it is kept clean because there is no spiderwebs or dirt to be seen anywhere. It is made out of bricks and siding showing how modern it is and that this could be placed in an urban area. The door is in the middle of the bricks, it looks expensive by being all white with three windows that is good quality. This house and the area it is in could mean that the family is a part of the middle class. There is two adults, which seems to be the mother and father, and then two little kids that seem to be the children of these adults. They look as if they are leaving the house, which we can infer because they are facing the street and not the front door. The father is carrying multiple things out the of the house. He is carrying a stroller, stuffed animals, a diaper bag, a coat, and a thermal cup. This shows that he cares very much for his family, since he is carrying all the weight. He is also looking out into the distance to the left with a very pleased/calm look. The other adult shown, what seems to be the mother, looks a little flustered, but at the same time pleased as well. We can tell this because of the facial expressions she makes. She is carrying a child and bag in one hand and in the other she is carrying a gogosqueeze and cup. With the amount of stuff both parents are carrying, it shows that they are most likely in a rush to leave the house. Another child is shown just behind, but in the middle of the two adults. This child looks older, for she is taller and is walking by herself, but seems shy because she has a straight face and is partially hiding behind her father. All of them seem to be very well kept, because they look like they are wearing good quality clothing that is very clean. Also, this looks like this is their house because of the way they are coming out of it all roughly. If they were more put together, I would suspect they are coming out of a relatives house because they were ready to leave. With this, it looks like a tornado hit them, and they are in a rush to be somewhere like a trip or outing due to everything they are holding. 

0:01 The family continues walking out of the house, allowing the camera to gain a little more area coverage of the house. It shows bushes, that looked trimmed and a roof/gutter that is cleaned from everything. The child that was walking in-between the parents now is taking the lead while smiling. This suggest she is happy on where she is going and can’t wait. The father looks down at the child with a smirk on his face. The mother looks off into the distance having the same pleased look the father had just before. With both of the parents doing this it shows they have accomplished what they wanted, like getting out the house with everything they needed on a good time.

0:02-0:03 There is a zoom in on the mother figure, emphasizing her pleased look. Her hair looks done. As she is walking with the family and her hands are full, she flips her hair to the left side. Since she has no hands, she had to use her head to move her hair out of her face. The hair flip looks as if it signifies that she felt accomplished. With all of them coming out of the house in a little rush, the hair flip looks like “I got this!”, which again shows how great she was feeling in the moment. Since she is also look straight a head while doing this, it is as though she is performing for an audience to show the confidence she has in completing a task; even if done messily. 

0:04 The camera quickly pans back out to show the whole family again walking a little further away from the house. They are walking is pretty slow. The slow walking shows that they feel empowered/accomplished in being able to leave the house with everything needed. The daughter and father are in the same position as 0:01, but the father’s mouth is open suggesting that he is talking to his daughter. The other child, which looks like to be a boy the way he is dressed in a collared shirt has a straight face while being carried by the mother.

0:05 The camera then quickly pans onto the daughter. The diaper bag that the father is carry has baby chain toys connected to the side of it. The daughter is pulling at one, as if she is begging for something. She looks at her dad with an expression that she is curious, so we can infer that she is begging to know where they are going.

0:06 The camera pulls back out to the family, which then shows the father losing grip of the stroller in his hand. He has a peace of bread in his mouth and is trying to keep the stroller in his hand. The daughter looks as if she is laughing, the son is smiling, and the mother looks stressed/concerned. This is showing that the father is carrying much more than he can handle, this can be seen physically, which can correlate with his mental state too.

0:07 The camera moves back to the mother showing her concern of the father. It looks as though she wants to help, but can’t because her hands are full as well.

0:08-0:09 At this point, the camera moves back out on the whole family showing the father struggle with the stroller and the mother struggling with holding the son in her arm. Both things are slipping down, but they continue to try to keep holding them. The father and mother are flustered. The camera then zooms in on the mom’s face and her son in her arm. The son looks happy, he probably is enjoying what is happening because it is like a ride. The mother looks as if she is struggling, but trying to keep him in her arm. During this time as well, the  father is looking at the ground. He might be looking for or at the bread that he dropped or anything else he was holding. This all indicates that they are messy and unorganized because nothing is staying in their hands/arms correctly. 

0:10 The camera turns back to the father, showing the diaper bag coming off his shoulder and onto his forearm. Everything is slowing falling down their arms, but they keep holding everything. This could represent that they are trying to keep everything together, but things still are slowly falling a part.

0:11 The daughter is seen pulling at the same toy on the diaper bag as her dad struggles to carry it with his forearm. The mother is smiling or even laughing as she keeps trying to hold her son in her arm.

0:12 The camera zooms back in on the father as he magically has his piece of bread again, which then he puts in his mouth to hold. He is now behind the other family members lagging behind a few steps. 

0:13 The camera angle then switches to the bottom portion of his legs: his knees and down. A toy is on the ground to the left, which is probably because he dropped it. This shows how unorganized he is, for he is carrying too much than he can handle is is dropping it.

0:14-0:15 Now it shows the front angle of the family angle. This time the daughter is leading in front, with the mother and son following behind her, and the father crouched over behind them struggling. Everyone seems to be happy, but him. The daughter is most likely leading because she wants to get to the destination first. She has a happy expression, which could be for the fact that she is first and is only carrying one toy.

0:16 The family finally reaches a gray sporty van. This is most likely their car because they are getting into it with all of their belongings.. The daughter drops her book bag and toy on the concrete right next to the car. This shows she doesn’t care what is going on and just wants to do whatever she wants to as well as that she is used to her family cleaning up after her. . The mother waits at the passenger side door.

0:17 From a side angle at the back of the car, it shows the door to the car sliding open and the girl waiting to go in. She looks happy, which shows she is excited to leave. The father is right behind her waiting for her to go into the car.

0:18 The camera switches to the mother and son. The mother is putting the son in the car.

0:19 Now the camera is back on the father and daughter. The father is reaching down to buckle the daughter into her toddler carseat as she eats something that is in a bowl. They are both smiling. The smile of the father implies he cares very much for his daughter’s safety.

0:20-0:21 The camera angle switches the fathers hands buckling his daughters buckle; only the buckle and his hands are in frame. He makes sure each point in the buckle is pushed in. This emphasizes the safety and importance for fastening the car seat accurately. 

0:22 The camera is back at the angle of facing the daughter and father. It shows the daughter moving her bowl up and down, causing the food to come out. His face looks like it is prepared to get hit by some of the food because his eyes are closed and he has his mouth open. The daughter is smiling/laughing about this. This implies she gets away with doing this type of behavior. While this is going on, the camera is still seems to be highlighting the car seat because of the side angle it has taken. This again shows that the daughter is securely fastened into the car seat.

0:23 The camera comes back to the mother and son, but this time the daughter is also in it because they are in the car. The mother is buckling the son’s seat as the daughter is blurred out, smiling toward the camera. This suggests the dad is where the camera is and that the focal point is the mother and son. The seat is facing backwards, which is the correct way for an infant/small toddler. This again is to show the safety precautions the parents are taking, in order to get the main idea across that car seats, their seatbelts, and the way the seats are facing is important. 

0:24-0:25 Just as the camera zoom on the hands of the father and the daughter’s seat buckle, it does the same for the mother and the son’s seat buckle. She makes sure each point of the buckle is pushed in, again emphasizing the saftey of the seatbelt. With this zoom in of her hand, we can see a diamond ring on her ring finger, which supports that these two adults are married. 

0:26-0:30 The scene fades into a blue background showing 4 different types of carseats/seatbelts. Showing the importance of a seatbelt and the correct carseat. The ad finishes.

Overview: The scene opens up with a family that has a bunch of stuff in their hands, which implies that they are rushing to get out the house. The scene is also in slow motion, which suggests that they are confident and pleased with everything they have going on. As they make their way to their car there is a constant struggle to hold everything that they have in their hands; the materials and the son in the mother’s arm especially. The daughter was shy when she first came out the house, but quickly became full of happy emotions as they walked to their car implying she was happy to go somewhere. The son was young, so there wasn’t much emotion to him. With them all getting to the car and the children finally getting buckled in, the camera zoomed in on the buckling portion. This highlights the importance of a seatbelt. The carseats themselves are also different between the two children, which suggest that the carseats are an important factor. Depending on age and weight, the carseat should change. All in all, what seems to be the main focus point is parents caring for their children, especially in the car with making sure their seatbelts are on correctly. Even with all the chaos that happened while they were getting to the car, they still showed how small things, like a car seat and buckling a seat belt, is important.

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2 Responses to Visual Rewrite – Taco491

  1. davidbdale's avatar davidbdale says:

    Good work, Taco. Just a few questions to put you over the top, where you want to be.

    The ad starts with what seems to be a family of four coming out of a modern day house. The camera pans out slowly showing the house a few feet behind them. The house looks like it is kept clean because there is no spiderwebs or dirt to be seen anywhere. It is made out of bricks and siding showing how modern it is and that this could be placed in an urban area. The door is in the middle of the bricks, it looks expensive by being all white with three windows that is good quality. This house and the area it is in could mean that the family is a part of the middle class. There is two adults, which seems to be the mother and father, and then two little kids that seem to be the children of these adults. The father is carrying multiple things out the of the house. He is carrying a stroller, stuffed animals, a diaper bag, a coat, and a thermal cup. This is shows that he cares very much for his family, since he is carrying all the weight. He is also looking out into the distance to the left with a very pleased/calm look. The other adult shown, what seems to be the mother, looks a little flustered, but at the same time pleased as well. She is carrying a child and bag in one hand and in the other she is carrying a gogosqueeze and cup. With the amount of stuff both parents are carrying, it shows that they are most likely in a rush to leave the house. Another child is shown just behind, but in the middle of the two adults. This child looks older, for she is taller and is walking by herself, but seems shy because she has a straight face and is partially hiding behind her father. All of them seem to be very well kept, because they look like they are wearing good quality clothing that is very clean.

    What you say all seems reasonable, but please be clear on how you came to your conclusions.
    —Why do you assume this is a couple, that the kids are theirs, that this is their house? If they were walking TOWARD the house with all that stuff, would you assume it was their house? Might they have rung the bell of the grandparents and found them not at home and now be departing without ever having been inside? If the kids were Asian, would you draw the same conclusions? If the man were thirty years older? Etc.

    0:02-0:03 There is a zoom in on the mother figure, emphasizing her pleased look. Her hair looks done, but the top right of her hair is swooped to the left side; it looks like it is on the wrong side. This seems like she was rushing to get something done, like getting the kids together. She probably moved her head fast, which in result moved her hair to accidentally swoop the wrong way.

    —Funny. To me that hair flip looks like “I got this!”
    —And that look she gives to the neighborhood looks like playing to the grandstands.
    —So, . . . is it confidence or false confidence?

    Don’t wait for more Feedback before revising your entire post, Unicorn. Use whatever is useful about my advice to make improvements throughout. Put the post into Regrade Please or back into Feedback Please, or both, following any significant improvements.

  2. davidbdale's avatar davidbdale says:

    Significant improvements throughout! 🙂

    Regraded.

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