Original Paragraph:

There is a huge problem in Vancouver with heroin addicts committing crimes to support their habits. The “free heroin for addicts” program is doing everything they can to stop the addicts. The problem is that there is a large crime rate due to the addicts. It is obvious that addicts have a hard time getting through their day to day lives. Daily activities such as jobs, interactions, and relationships are hard to maintain because of the fact that they are using. By heroin users being addicted, they will do whatever they have to do to get their hands on the drug. The types of crimes committed are those of breaking and entering as well as stealing. There are no limits to where they will go to retrieve this drug so that they can feed their addiction. The problem with this program is that it won’t help to ween these addicts off using heroin. It is only trying to save the city from rising crime rates that they’re up to. By providing the drug, these addicts will be off the streets, which in turn will prevent them from committing minor street crimes. This will also keep the heroin users out of the hospital. It is pointless that the hospitals have to deal with people who want to use bad drugs or unsanitary needles and find themselves being unable to afford hospital bills and hard to cope without the drug. This program gives people free heroin in the cleanest way possible. This will in turn fix the city  but not the addiction that these people face.

Revised Paragraph: 

A situation involving Heroin-related crimes has been rising in Vancouver for some time as addicts steal to feed their habits. The “free heroin for addicts” program aims to curb this crime wave, but it misses the mark by failing to address the root cause: addiction itself. Heroin use disrupts every aspect of an addict’s life, from holding down a job to maintaining relationships. Desperate for their next fix, users resort to breaking and entering, theft, and other crimes. The program may reduce street crime by giving addicts clean heroin, but it only shifts the problem it doesn’t solve it. Hospitals are overwhelmed with users who inject unsanitary needles, rack up costly bills, and struggle to break free from their addiction. The program may alleviate immediate concerns, but it offers no long-term solution for the addiction that drives the criminal behavior.