banned 2nd person- lil.sapph

Posted on November 22, 2024 by lil.sapph
  1. Taxpayers wonder whether the amount spent on students makes a difference, but any parent whose child goes to an expensive school would positively agree. 
  2. There are different types of injuries that can happen in each sport, yet there is a controversial surgery that could make an athlete stronger, if performed before the injury occurs. 
  3. Imagine being willing to do anything to obtain a substance no matter the consequences, because of the body’s consumption by, and dependency on a drug.  
  4. More problems are caused than solved by inviting Syrians in. 
  5. Having physical money is not as important as it used to be. 
  6. The little green pieces of paper in pockets and piggy banks hold no value other than the cost it took to produce it, yet entire lives are spent working just to earn those pieces of paper 
  7. Looking at bank statements or dollar bills need to be reminders that value of money is completely made up. Without money, trade would consist just of goods like livestock or produce. 
  8. It is understood that a dollar is only worth what it can buy.  
  9. Walking around without physical money in hand, yet still having it is just like stone currency. Similar to that, bitcoins don’t require physical possession of them to have them. 
  10. The American dream requires having enough of those pieces of paper to be financially stable. Yet after careful analyzation, lives are based off of these little pieces of paper called money. 
  11. Money is a clever concept, and its pursuit lasts a lifetime. These pieces of paper are chased from the early years of childhood, in hopes of succeeding in making life more fun and acceptable. 

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1 Response to banned 2nd person- lil.sapph

  1. davidbdale's avatar davidbdale says:
    November 23, 2024 at 7:17 pm

    Here are some sentences that could still use some work:

    The little green pieces of paper in pockets and piggy banks hold no value other than the cost it took to produce it, yet entire lives are spent working just to earn those pieces of paper 

    —Pieces, not money, so them, not it.

    Looking at bank statements or dollar bills need to be reminders

    —Very awkward

    It is understood that a dollar is only worth what it can buy.  

    —Is worth only what it can buy.

    Yet after careful analyzation, lives are based off of these little pieces of paper called money. 

    —analysis

    No need to revise. The work is overall wonderful, and you get credit for ingenuity and originality.

    Reply

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