Causal Rewrite- ericcartman

Emotions are limitless, but we are reluctant to express most of them. Our individual emotional palettes differ; hence, psychologists struggle to achieve a therapy practice applicable to a wide range of emotional complications and disorders. Standard therapy practices, such as cognitive or behavioral therapy, treat only selective mental complications. So therapists must adapt their practices across multiple spectrums. As children age, art therapy is beneficial to adolescents because it is flexible and adaptable to individual circumstances, which is one of the pluses of incorporating creative expression into art therapy.

My mother has been an educator for 25 years, teaching classes for kindergarten through fifth graders. She discusses how incorporating art into her classes helps give her a better understanding of how to organize her class for the day. When her students enter her classroom, my mother has her students draw a picture of how their day is going. After reviewing the drawings, it helps give her a better idea of what type of book the students would be most interested in and whether they do art stations or independent reading as an activity afterwards. She noticed the rowdy behavior diminishing as these children all sat and drew about their day. While every student’s drawing was different, there was never a blank page. She noticed higher classroom engagement and a faster so-called “cool down time” from when they first walked into the library to when it was time to sit on the rug for group reading. This is just one example of how easily art can help influence a child’s behavior in an everyday setting, and not just an individual, but a class of 25 elementary schoolers. Not only does it benefit wellbeing, but it also allows for open communication with educators and authority figures.

 MaryGrace Berbarian discussed in her work “Creative Problem Solving in Art Therapy” The influences art therapy can have on a child’s resilience and problem-solving skills How many may wonder: How does painting or drawing a picture help you solve a problem in life?

It is common to categorize art therapy as one of the more frivolous practices in psychology, but many do not understand that there is more than just painting in art therapy; there is an entire curriculum behind it that can reach more patients than standard practices. Berbarian utilizes instances in which art therapy may be influential:

 For example, the tolerable access of traumatic memories via art processes is encouraged by the trusting, empathic relationship with the therapist and the reward derived from the sensorially pleasurable creative process. Further, by safely re-encoding terrorizing memories through art therapy, the child can construct new options for safety through mirroring from the art therapist and reap the rewards of feeling validated.

Many children cannot even begin to comprehend their feelings, let alone verbally explain them; sometimes the only thing they get is a picture in their heads. A way to show that emotion visually may be the easiest way to explain their innermost thoughts. Many children do not know how to confide in a stranger. When looking at a picture, it is an activity that coincides with children’s creative and developmental nature.Color theory discusses how many people can associate certain colors towards emotions subconsciously. Some instances of this can be a child being stuck in a dark red room, which could symbolize them being trapped in their own anger, or a child portraying their self-image much smaller than their parent may be their form of expressing how they feel belittled by that figure.

A Rowan University figure Jessica Anne Masino Drass published a paper on the programs of Rowan’s art therapy; in this, she includes a background on various tactics and studies revolving around the practice. In an effort to limit students’ disciplinary actions, they implemented an after-school art program and further recorded the results they uncovered through this program,  which consisted of a group of teenagers from South New Jersey.

All of the students reported that they enjoyed being a part of the program and had fun at the meetings after school. What they enjoyed most about the program was creating a permanent public art project by being able to paint on the walls of the school. They also remarked that their involvement in the program gave them something positive to do with their time and kept them from getting into trouble outside of school.

Many students displayed positive behavioral changes when they redirected their energy and also learned how to express their rebellion. While the drawing on walls was sanctioned, they still felt a thrill from participating in something that tends to lie outside the norm.

By the end of the eight-week program, it was easy to see that a bond had grown between the five students, and they looked out for each other. At one meeting in particular, one of the students came in after school clearly upset about something. He had an incident with a teacher that brought him to tears. Instead of making fun of his emotions, the other students tried to calm him down and listened to him tell the story of what had happened to make him so upset. They also gave him suggestions on ways to remedy his situation in a positive way. When the program began, these were five high school students who didn’t know each other very well or at all, and by the end, they were sticking up for each other.

Jessica’s program utilizing these South Jersey teens ended up having them grow a bond through art and cultivating a friendship through the group art sessions they attended. These students, all who had behavioral issues in school, many involving their peers, ended up understanding each other better through their art and felt special and unique through not only their work but the bonds they made.

As children grow through various psychosocial developmental stages, it is harder to determine what types of standard therapeutic practices are most beneficial to their specific circumstances. Through the examples shown, art therapy has been deemed successful on all different stages of development, considering the varying age groups shown of the children subjected to practicing art therapy. This is one of the reasons why art therapy is very attainable from different types of behavioral issues and specified circumstances.

Berberian, Marygrace. (2019). Creative Problem Solving in Art Therapy. file:///Users/bellaaquilino/Downloads/Art_Therapy_Practices_for_Resilient_Youth_Berberian_CreativeProblemSolving.pdf

Drass, Jessica Anne Masino, “Using art to teach problem-solving and other social skills: the effectiveness of the RATE Program” (2009) https://rdw.rowan.edu/etd/607

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Visual Rhetoric-Propel78

We Can Talk About It :30 | Seize the Awkward | Ad Council-https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Ig6jqru1a

0:0-0:1- For this one second what I see is a teenage girl in her room with the lights off and is sitting on her bed. She has curtains covering her window and it looks like it is mid day outside with daylight still in the corner of your room. She has a desk with a mirror and around the mirror is a light string with light bulbs. There is a book bag on her bed and looks like she was doing schoolwork and now she’s on her phone.

0:1-0:2-she’s on her phone sitting on her bed. She looks like she is not in a good mood. It might be because of stuff going on or because stressed out because of doing schoolwork but she’s texting someone and said something to that person and they are concerned about her.

0:2-0:3-the person this teenager texted responded with it’s all in your head and just thought happy thoughts so this makes me think the teenager is depressed or not in a good mental state and is down right now and the person she is contacting is probably one of her friends due to the response. She is getting by just thinking happy thoughts. It’s not really like I feel like a family member or someone really close to her.

0:3-0:4-she is having a conversation with someone through her phone. She is still in her room on her bed and the conversation is someone trying to cheer her up or help her through something.

0:4-0:5-throughout this, it cuts from her phone and the response text from the person saying just think happy thoughts to her face, while her facial expression is unhappy or sad. She does not look happy or well in the background and sees she has pictures on her wall.

0:5-0:6-it goes from a still image on her face of her being unpleasant to it looks like a family dinner, where there is a mother and a daughter, and presumably other members of the family like a father all eating looks like a family of an ethical race.

0:6-0:7-the family is eating dinner, and the daughter looks over at the mother and gives the mother a side. I look a look disgusted, or as if something is off.

0:7-0:8-the daughter continues to stare at them. Otherwise she continues to eat. The daughter holds a feast of anger, or discusses towards her mother, or this older woman at the table.

0:8-0:9-then it cuts over to a different family, having dinner looks like at a diner, due to the salt, shaker and pepper shaker on the table and the plastic cups, and the read booth style reminds me of a diner, and it looks like it as a mother and another figure, and then a son with a sad or depressing feels.

0:9-0:10-the son looks up at his mother and still looks on please, and is stirring his drink with his straw.

0:10-0:11-then it cuts to a kid laying in his bed do not know, male or female, but is on their phone on some app

0:11-0:12-the phone screen is lighting up in shining on a teenage girl face, and it looks like she’s being absorbed into the phone with sucked in by technology

0:12-0:13-then it cuts to a digital board like she is transported into the digital world of technology like Twitter or Instagram, or like Facebook style cause I see a heart, and an at symbol.

0:13-0:14-then it cuts to more technology stuff like ads and pop-ups, follow buttons and different headlines

0:14-0:15-different words in different advertisements, pop up and flashy things to peel like you would see on all different of the social media things

0:15-0:16-then it cuts back out to a different girl sitting on her couch looking like mid-day, and she throws her phone down and leans back.

0:16-0:17-she is leaning back on the couch with her eyes closed and is taking deep breaths in through her nose and out their mouth off her phone.

0:17-0:18-there is another person in the room looks like a guy, and he is leaning against the chair sitting on the floor in the living room there’s another chair off to the left of him with a table behind him with a vase

0:18-0:19-he asked the girl laying on the couch if she wanted to talk about it because she is under the assumption that she is not in a good mood, or is upset because of the way she’s acting because she looks concerned

0:19-0:21-the girl on the couch, shakes her head, and he says yeah and says yeah, in a soft tone.

0:21-0:22-then it cuts to someone laying in a bed, holding hands, looks like a girl and the other person holding her hand, has a lot of rings and jewelry

0:22-0:23-and they are talking about being sad in the bed and it’s OK to be sad

0:23-0:24-then it cuts to the first teenage girl I was sitting on her bed outside, sitting in the car with the person she was probably texting there to saying you need to talk about what is going on.

0:24-0:27-and her friend is saying she is there for her, and they are outside of a store, and there are words on the screen saying when the world doesn’t listen to a friend who does, relaying that you should be there for your friends when they need you.

0:27-0:30-and then it cuts to them saying you should be the friend for the person that needs you when they feel like they don’t have anybody because sometimes that’s what they need to feel better. And it’s always good to look after your friends, especially if you see signs or concerns or anything wrong with them.

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Visual Rhetoric- Youngthug03

0.1- The opening shot is of a little boy around 12 years old opening his fridge in his kitchen at home. It seems to be after noon time with the sun shining into the kitchen. His father is staying right behind him holding the fridge door open. They seem to be well off with a nice house and fridge full of food. The boy is wide eyed looking in the fridge for something and begins to move items around. 

0.3- The boy then looks down to the bottom shelf of the fridge and finds what he is looking for. He was looking for a volcano that could be a school project. The boy grabs the volcano out of the fridge. 

0.5- The next shot is of the inside of the fridge door, where the dad is grabbing a blue ribbon award. 

0.6- The dad then puts the award onto the volcano that the little boy is holding. The dad has a big smile on his face and seems to be very proud of his son for receiving an award. 

0.7- The dad puts his hand on the son’s shoulder and they both give each other a big smile. The mom walks into the kitchen and has her back to the dad and son.

0.9- The dad then closes the fridge and the son walks away towards his mom. 

0.10- The next scene is of a young girl around the age of 18 years old. The shot is from inside what seems to be a pantry and the young girl seems to be looking for something. There are balloons and 3 to 4 people behind her. A grandmother, sister, and maybe mother are all standing in what seems to be a kitchen. The sun is shining into the kitchen but it’s a little dark. 

0.12- It seems like there is a party of some sort going on in the kitchen behind the young girl. There are now more people in the background and possibly some of the girl’s friends. She steps into the pantry which seems to be deep and there are many different foods and snacks on both sides of the girl.

0.13- She gets to the end of the party where she grabs her graduation cap and then the next shot is of the girl putting the cap onto her head while wearing her graduation gown. Her grandmother is standing to her right with a big smile on her face and then her sister is to the right of the grandmother also smiling and looking at her sister. 

0.15- The girl then looks at her grandmother and sister and they all come close together as the girl puts her phone out to take a selfie with them. 

0.16- The next shot is of a man with a shirt that says “Volunteer” on it. He is opening a fridge with a big smile on his face. In the background there are others with the same shirt on and there are many boxes behind him. Potential food pantry. Inside the fridge there is OJ, eggs, lettutes, and milk in brown bags. 

0.19- The man grabs the bag from the fridge and hands it to an older woman not wearing a “volunteer” shirt. She is wearing a light cardigan and seems well kept. In the background there are other volunteers with bags of food handing them to other people. The volunteers are on one side of the table with the orange shirts and the other people that are not volunteers are on the opposite side. 

0.21- After the woman is handed her bag of food she smiles at the man. The room that they are in is very bright and the sun is shining in. The shot follows her where it is seen that there is a line of people behind her, also waiting for a bag of food. There is a young girl around the age of 25 and a mother around the age of 35. 

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Visual Rewrite – PeterGriffin

0:01: As the ad starts you can tell that the main characters that evolve around this ad are a family of four. The family is made up of a father who seems to be in his forties, a mother who seems to be in her late thirties, and two children who seem to be around the ages of three – six years old. The family seems to be walking out of their house with bags and a stroller getting ready to go somewhere. The house seems to be a nice house and that the family lives in a decent area. 

0:07- 0:19: As the ad continues to go on it seems that the children are starting to get a little out of control and filled with excitement wherever the family is off to. The family of four are still walking off of their front porch and the father begins to start dropping the stuff that he is carrying in his arms. The many things that the father is carrying in his arms are the childrens toys (stuffed animals), a sweater for himself, two bags that are probably holding the kids supplies such as formula, diapers, pacifiers, and maybe more toys, and lastly a stroller. You can tell that the mother notices her husband struggling with everything that he is carrying but she most likely cannot help him because she is carrying the youngest child. 

0:20 – 0:22: Inside this shot you can see the father starting to buckle one of the two children inside of a car seat in the back seats of the car they are taking to whichever they are going. He is making sure that the childrens seatbelts are fastened tightly so that just in case anything happens when they leave to go to wherever they are going, that the seatbelts work to their full capability. While the father is still strapping one of the children into the car seat the child starts to throw food uncontrollably. In this shot it seems that the food that the child is throwing while he is giggling is cereal inside of a little bowl but without the milk. 

0:23 – 0:24: Inside this frame you can tell it is coming from the fathers point of view looking across the car, and see that the mother is putting their other child in a car seat as well. She seems to be doing what the father was doing, making sure that the seat belt holding the child inside the car seat is tightened all the way so that the car seat can work to its full potential. 

0:25 – 0:30: The camera then cuts to a blue screen with a rear facing car seat, a car seat, a booster seat, and a normal seatbelt all aligned in the center of the frame. Right under these four images is a white banner with the text NHTSA.gov/TheRightSeat and under the NHTSA logo.seats. 

Without being able to hear what was going on inside of this video and pausing during certain frames and visualizing I believe that this ad was about child protection inside of motor vehicles using the right car seats. I believe that this ad was about child protection because you can see with all of the craziness going on that the two children were causing because they were excited, the parents both still made sure that the children were safe and secure before they got into the vehicle to go to where they were going as a family. This is a great ad to show on TV so parents can see that they are not the only ones that go through craziness that young children cause, and that they always need to make sure that the children are safe when they get into a car. 

Link to video: https://youtu.be/eOfYNJNh1I8?si=IZOFA_EYYT20TCGV

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Definition Rewrite- StoneHarbor91

Lens of Emotions 

Chocolate cake; loaded with chocolate flavor, moist, tender and the perfect amount of sweetness layered with a creamy icing that doesn’t overpower the rest of the desert. You decide to cut into it and you take a bite realizing it’s not all cracked up to what it’s supposed to be. Cake and humans are the same, everyone has a choice they are in control of making. 

Souls, the principle of being subjected to moral aspects of happiness and misery. We cross paths with a different soul everyday, some are beautiful, evil, and some are painted to seem more like one than the other. Yet, our souls can be different from our consciousness. Individuals all have a desired self referring to how one wants to be viewed by a group of people leading to group cohesiveness. Group cohesiveness complies with control, priming us for outlooks. Ingroups give individuals a sense of self and proximity. 

The group we chose becomes our environment advancing to influence. When choosing the wrong groups we are put into a stressful situation. This gives an option, do you stick in the wrong environment and continue to feel stressed out and not yourself or do you leave, starting over right back at square one.

Point of my argument:

Choosing things that go against our souls to feed our delusions leads to stress and feeling scrambled. Without friends we feel lonely leading us to sadness and stress that we wont find the correct people to spend time with.

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Visual Rewrite – TheFrogSprog

Child Car Safety | I Come Correct:30 – YouTube

0:01

A family of four, consisting of a mother, a father, and two children; one girl and one boy with both appearing to be between the ages of two and five, are standing on their front porch peering off to the lefthand side of the frame. They appear to be gazing at something important while also taking in the sights of the outdoors ready to start their busy day. The mother then quickly turns to face the forward and starts to walk forward in step with her husband and daughter as she carries her son and a portion of the supplies for the day in which her husband shares the burden. 

0:3

A close-up of the mother’s face is then shown as she walks confidently toward her destination while still gazing at the lefthand side of the frame. Her head is pointed forward while her eyes are gazing intently into the distance at an angle. The destination is perhaps important enough to keep her eyes on the prize while the walkway itself needed to have some semblance of carefulness put on in the eventuality of tripping judging by the slight leftward peering eyes while the woman’s face is stalwartly pointed ahead.

0:4

The camera then changes to a wide shot of the entire family as they proceed down the walkway. The father slightly bent over perhaps at the weight of all the items he is carrying but more than likely because he is talking to his daughter who he is walking right next to. The daughter head panned to the left with wide eyes that seem to sparkle with joy is anticipating something, their destination more than likely. The mother struts forward with a purpose carrying the rest of the items that her husband is not as well as their son who is starring into space itself. 

0:05

The camera then quickly cuts to a height level shot of the daughter gripping her toy hanging off the bag her father is carrying, it then cuts to chaos as her pulling on the toy causes the stroller her father is carrying to come careening off his back. The importance of this frame in my opinion is to show how this family is a stand in for all families in America, representing the ideal family in the American Dream. Not all families are perfect and that is alright as they each have their own qualities.

0:06-0:12

The father after loosing the payload on his back causes a slight hiccup in the family unit’s cohesion as both the mother and father nearly drop the items in their care. They are both able to quickly readjust their burdens as the mother readjusts her hold on their son while the father reshifts his weight from both the left and right one time each to get a better hold on the stroller and backpack looking holder on his back. He then quickly stuffs the piece of food that he was holding in his left hand into his mouth, which conveys both the hurridness of the situation as well as the struggle he is feeling with the weight of his burden.

0:14

The daughter is once again foreground of the frame moving towards her destination, the family car, without regards as to what is happening behind her. In the background we can see the father getting up of the ground due to his poor footing from carrying so much weight. The giddiness in the daughter’s eyes as she journeys to her parents’ car unconsciously endears her to the audience.

0:16-0:18

The daughter quickly releases the tiny backpack and stuffed animal she has had with her as her family prepare to board the car. The mother places her drink on the roof of the car as she reaches to open the car door and the father walks around to the other side of the car to help his daughter in on the back-driver side. This scenario is something that almost every parent is familiar with hurriedly helping your kids into the car while dealing with the mountainous weight load of items. This further endears the entire family to the viewer as almost everyone can relate to situations like this.

0:20-0:23

The daughter is sitting in her car seat eating a bowl of some sort of snack, cheerios perhaps, as the the father reaches under the bowl safely fastening the daughters carseat buckle. There is then a jump cut to the buckle being fastened the proper way and then another jump cut to the daughter in the midst of a tantrum as her cereal is flying all over as the father looks on in shock. Even though freaking out the daughter is safely buckled into her seat and ready for departure.

0:24

The camera then cuts to the mother doing the same for her son, safely buckling her charge into his rear facing car seat and then cutting to a view of the buckle being safely fastened. This again has the same effect as the daughter’s seatbelt view conveying that proper safety measures had been put in place by the parents before departure.

0:25-0:30

The camera then cuts to a blue screen with a rear facing car seat, a car seat, a booster seat, and a normal seatbelt all aligned in the center of the frame. Right under these four images is a white banner with the text NHTSA.gov/TheRightSeat and under the NHTSA logo. Judging by the four images and the final five seconds of the clip the video is about seat belt safety and the importance of proper safety measure taken when buckling your children in their proper car seats. 

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Definition rewrite ericcartman

Is Art Therapy best for kids?

Children and adolescents developmental stages cause a skew in how different therapy tactics are effective in reaching each individual. Art therapy is a method many art teachers and therapists have worked to collaborate on to develop a new form of therapeutic expression for adolescents. Art therapy holds many benefits and is much more widely applicable to adolescents than select forms of psychological therapy.

Art therapy is aimed at directing children’s reward pathways and allowing an alternate form of expression to help teach unique problem-solving. Using art to express an emotion or tell a story that, in some stages of development, children are limited in expressing or explaining verbally.

Fei-Ya Su’s students benefit from the “no wrong answers” approach to art therapy in the classroom.

One of the main goals she describes is one of the most common and ideal concepts that are seen through participating in art therapy. The overall goal of her therapy is to see students “come to class feeling that this was a safe place to explore their passions with no right or wrong answers or methodologies.”

Teenagers need to be reminded of this. They are highly self-critical and easily discouraged, and in many areas of their lives, they feel some external pressure to conform to their surroundings while growing up. But not in her classroom. In many ways, picking at a child’s brain causes  hyper-fixation on the problem at hand, emphasizing what is wrong and making the child feel criticized. Many teenagers are not ready for these tactics to be one of the first steps taken in receiving mental health treatment. In art therapy, the lines often get blurred on the therapeutic side, and many patients take it as an art education, which helps separate their mind from the direct problem and solve these issues subconsciously before having these revelations brought to their attention. In conducting an art therapy experiment with her students through studying art therapy, Fei-Ya Su discussed the outcome and reflection of her experiment.

If I could do this class all over again, the change that I would consider making the most is to have students create an art journal and update it every day at home. This would have given them more opportunity to think about trying different art materials and generate new ideas that they could record and refer to come class time.

Understanding a concept can sometimes be interpreted better from an alternate perspective. Participating in artistic expression, or a visual, carves out a new sensory implication in therapy practices rather than traditional verbal expression and adds a hands-on component that makes the patient feel as if they have more control over their situation, which has a heavy influence on their willingness to participate.

A research study, “A Systematic Narrative Review on Art Therapeutic Means and Forms of Expression, Therapist Behavior, and Supposed Mechanisms of Change,” was conducted by various researchers in an effort to prove how different applications of therapy impact qualifying adolescents.

AT interventions for children and adolescents are characterized by a variety of materials and techniques, forms of structure such as giving topics or assignments, and the use of language. Three forms of therapist behavior were seen: non-directive, directive, and eclectic. All three forms of therapist behavior, in combination with a variety of means and forms of expression, showed significant effects on psychosocial problems.

When applied in a flexible manner, art therapy is highly effective. In this experiment, the researchers studied the applicability of therapy to certain classifications of psychosocial behaviors the subjects were exhibiting; through this, they were able to determine how they can best execute these methods.

Art therapy is not just a direct practice; there is more to it than just the simplicity of having a person sit in front of a canvas. There is an entire curriculum behind the practices of art therapy; just like the psychosocial sciences behind cognitive and behavioral therapy, art therapy has a variety of approaches adapted to the individual patient.

Throughout the copious experiments revolving around art therapy, many researchers have questioned the legitimacy of its effectiveness. In the study that was conducted by Bosgraaf, Spreen, Pattiselanno, and Van Hooren, they were able to compare and contrast a variety of psychosocial therapy practices with art. 

The results showed that the use of means and forms of expression and therapist behavior is applied flexibly. This suggests the responsiveness of AT, in which means and forms of expression and therapist behavior are applied to respond to the client’s needs and circumstances, thereby giving positive results for psychosocial outcomes.

There are many benefits from art therapy and over time, it has been found much more applicable to adolescents than select forms of psychological therapy. While behavioral, or cognitive, therapy, which stems from conditioning through verbal communication, allows for many of one’s psychosocial issues to be addressed directly, art therapy can construct itself to present patients with more direct tasks as well. There is a more loosely based science behind the variability of techniques this practice uses, which allows for it to be more applicable to different psychosocial issues displayed in children and adolescents. Being able to interpret the practices of art therapy and how they contrast with more routine and traditional therapeutic practices allows us to begin to see the psychological depth behind art.

References

Bosgraaf L, Spreen M, Pattiselanno K, van Hooren S. Art Therapy for Psychosocial Problems in Children and Adolescents: A Systematic Narrative Review on Art Therapeutic Means and Forms of Expression, Therapist Behavior, and Supposed Mechanisms of Change. Front Psychol. 2020 Oct 8 https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/33132993/

Su, Fei-Ya, “How Can Students Use Art to Learn Problem Solving?” (2020). Theses and Dissertations. https://scholarsarchive.byu.edu/etd/8136

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Robust Verbs – HDT1817

ORIGINAL: There is a huge problem in Vancouver with heroin addicts committing crimes to support their habits. The “free heroin for addicts” program is doing everything they can to stop the addicts. The problem is that there is a large crime rate due to the addicts. It is obvious that addicts have a hard time getting through their day to day lives. Daily activities such as jobs, interactions, and relationships are hard to maintain because of the fact that they are using. By heroin users being addicted, they will do whatever they have to do to get their hands on the drug. The types of crimes committed are those of breaking and entering as well as stealing. There are no limits to where they will go to retrieve this drug so that they can feed their addiction. The problem with this program is that it won’t help to ween these addicts off using heroin. It is only trying to save the city from rising crime rates that they’re up to. By providing the drug, these addicts will be off the streets, which in turn will prevent them from committing minor street crimes. This will also keep the heroin users out of the hospital. It is pointless that the hospitals have to deal with people that want to use bad drugs or unsanitary needles and find themselves being unable to afford hospital bills and hard to cope without the drug. This program gives people free heroin in the cleanest way possible. This will in turn fix the city but not the addiction that these people face.

FIXED: A detrimental problem in Vancouver today is heroin addicts committing crimes to support their habits. The “free heroin for addicts” program is doing everything they can to stop the addicts. There is an alarmingly large crime rate due to the addicts. Crimes committed are those of breaking and entering as well as stealing. Heroin users will do whatever they can to get their hands on the drug even if it is committing criminal acts. Obviously addicts have a hard time with keeping or getting jobs, interactions, and relationships are hard to maintain as well. The problem with this program is that it won’t help to wean these addicts off of using heroin. This program is only trying to save the city from rising crime rates that they’re up to. This keeps addicts off of the streets, which in turn will prevent them from committing minor street crimes. This also keeps them out of the hospital. Problems arise when hospitals have to deal with people that want to use bad drugs or unsanitary needles and find themselves being unable to afford hospital bills. This program gives people free heroin in the cleanest way possible, and also aids in lowering crime rates. However, the program does not help in breaking the vicious addiction cycle.

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Visual Rewrite – MillyCain

0:00 – The shot opens in an underwater setting with a professional diver equipped with scuba tanks and flippers in the middle. The entire shot is very dark, apart from a small oval of light that surrounds the diver, and this light stars from the top of the shot and almost reaches the bottom. About 30% of the left and right sides of the shot respectively are pitch black, and the visible oval is still a dark and dull shade of blue. The camera is positioned slightly below the diver, and the diver is facing away from us at a 45 degree angle. The diver is also in a face-down position. The diver is close enough to the camera so that we can tell where their hands are, but still far enough so that we cannot count their fingers. A rock structure is visible in the left portion of the oval of light, and appears to expands beyond the boundaries of whats visible. While the surface of the water is not visible, the small about of light that we do have means that we are in pretty deep water. The diver breathes and bubbles shoot up out of the scuba gear.

The most prevalent aspect of this shot is the oval of light that surrounds the diver. It seems to be light coming from the surface, but the surface itself is not visible in this shot, so there is a possibility that this is an unnatural light placed by the director. Either way, the dark blue shade of the water means that we are deep in the ocean, which is what’s important. This means that the diver is alone, which is backed up by the empty feeling we get from the diver being pretty far from the camera.

0:00-0:02 – The first shot pans slightly to the left before cutting to a different angle of the diver. The camera doesn’t pan on a straight path, it sways and moves as if the person holding it is also swimming. The diver is still taking the same breath that he was taking at the end of the first shot. The camera is now slightly above and slightly closer to the diver, but the diver is still facing in a similar direction and is in the same face-down position as the first shot. The oval of visible light is now gone, and the entire shot is composed of that shade of blue. To the right of the diver, there is a structure that is blocking some of the shot. It is completely black and it is unclear what it is exactly. To the left of this, there is another structure that is unidentifiable. What is known about these structures is that they are not part of the rock formation that has been shown before. Their unnatural shape means that they are most likely human made, so this is remnants of some kind of shipwreck.

This is another establishing shot that is meant to evoke an emotion for the viewer. The shaky camera and the dark and empty space that the diver is occupying evokes an emotion of fear, or at least discomfort. The diver could be diving in a bright tropical environment with coral reefs and exotic fish, but he is in a dark, empty environment where some structures cannot be identified. Feelings of uneasiness begin to creep in.

0:02-0:06 – The shaky camera continues to pan left before cutting again to a close up of the diver. The camera is placed on the divers chest, and it is facing up towards his face. The divers head is now visible and their deep sea goggles and breathing tube can now be seen for the first time. The surface is now also 100% visible for the first time in the top right corner, but it is quite a ways away. There is a lighter shade of blue near this surface, but it gets much darker as is gets further away. It has a gradient-like effect. The camera starts moving upward and around the diver’s head before cutting again.

This shot enhances the feelings that were evoked from the previous shot. The emptiness of the space is really starting to be felt.

0:06 – The diver is now in the middle of the shot. He is almost facing the camera directly and is close enough for his individual fingers to be made out. He is holding a flashlight and the light that it emits is almost the only light in the entire shot. The diver is surrounded completely by the darkest shade of blue that you can get before its black. Nothing else besides the diver is visible in the shot.

At this point, there are no more questions about what this is trying to evoke. This diver is completely alone in the dark ocean, and the shaky camera only adds to the suspense. We are meant to be worried about the diver.

0:06-0:09 – The diver begins to turn himself towards the camera and the light from the flashlight gets shines directly into the camera. It has a blinding effect for the viewer. As he gets closer to completely facing the camera, lots of bubbles begin to shoot out from his scuba mask, more than we’ve seen from the breaths that he has taken previously.

Whatever he is turning to look at is scaring him because of the faster breathing. Something bad is about to happen.

0:09 – The camera cuts to a shark that is swimming directly towards the camera, as well as the diver. The environment that the shark is in is similar to the one that the diver was in in the previous shot, it is very dark. The shark’s body is taking up most of the shot, but the bits of the ocean that are visible are dark. The slight camera sway that has been present throughout the entire ad so far is now a full on shake and the viewer’s attention is all over the place.

0:10 – The camera quickly cuts back to the diver, almost directly in front of his face. For the first time, his facial features are visible. He appears to be a white man who has a small mustache. For this small moment, we can see that his face is full of fear. This shot of his face is on screen for such a small amount of time that one would not be able to see this fear without pausing. In real time, fear is evoked into to viewer by the quick cuts and extremely shaky camera.

0:10-0:11 – The camera cuts back to the shark. The shark quickly swims up to the camera and begins to open its mouth towards it. The camera is the perspective of the diver, who is getting attacked by the shark. Of course, the shaky camera is present.

The entire sequence from 0:09-0:11 is used to convey fear into the viewer. The quick cuts and out-of control camera heavily contrast from the establishing shots that were much longer and smoother by comparison. This also gives a payoff to the viewer after viewing those opening shots as well. All of the suspense that is created in those ominous and intriguing opening seconds is delivered upon in this attack scene that contrasts those in every way.

0:11-0:12 – As the shark bites down, the camera pans away to reveal that this entire scene with the diver and the shark was actually being played on a phone. As the camera gets further away, we see see that this phone is being held in the right hand of a man who is operating a car with his left hand. The camera is facing down towards the pedals, so we can only see the man’s hands, thighs, and the smallest bit of his torso. The only thing visible in the car s the steering wheel and part of the dashboard. White text in the middle of the screen spelling, “Think that’s scary?” appears and stays until the next shot.

This shot reveals that the scene with the diver is not actually happening in real time. It is most likely a movie or show that is being played on the driver’s phone. The white text is most likely setting up a comparison between the unsettling scene with the diver, and whatever is about to happen next.

0:13 – The camera cuts to the man who is holding the phone. The camera is positioned in the passenger’s seat of the car, and is facing the right shoulder of the driver. The driver is a man who appears to be in his mid 20s to early 30s. The man is operating the car while looking down at his phone which is playing the scene with the diver that we just watched. Looking down isn’t enough to describe it, his eyes are glued to his phone screen, away from the road. The man’s expression is one of surprise; he most likely just witnessed the jump-scare with the shark that we just saw. Outside of the window, a house is visible meaning that we are in some kind of residential area. There are trees, sidewalks, and houses all present. No other cars or people are seen at this point. The wether conditions are also perfect as there is no rain or snow present, and it seems to be a beautiful day, likely in the late morning or early afternoon. The man also seems to be well put together as he is dressed in nice attire and his car is clean.

The point of this shot is to establish that he is not focusing on the road. He is heavily invested in the movie that is playing on his phone, and his attention is not on the road. The residential area that he is in means that it is likely for there to be other people are cars around. The fact that the camera is facing the side of him that is holding the phone means that the director’s wants our attention to be on the phone.

0:14 – The camera is now in the back seat of the car, facing the windshield. The man is still holding his phone, and we can see that he is still looking down because of his reflection in the rear-view mirror. The view from the windshield is now visible, and it reveals a woman who is crossing the street, glancing in the direction of the moving car. She is wearing a denim jacket and a backpack of some kind. A stop sign is also visible in the far right hand corner of the shot. The camera is not angled in a way that we can see the road that the woman is trying to cross, but there is a visible crosswalk on the other side of her. This means that she is likely crossing on a crosswalk herself because its part of the same intersection. In other words, she is legally crossing the street. Just as the shot ends, the man’s eyes in the mirror begin to look up.

The first thing that draws our attention in this shot is the woman. She isn’t directly in the middle of of the shot, but she is visible through the windshield rather than the side windows, which makes it look like she is about to get hit. The other thing that grabs attention in the rear-view mirror. The camera is positioned so that the reflection in that mirror is the man’s eyes, which are looking down. Both the woman and the mirror are close together (composition wise), so the viewer is able to process both in the short amount of time.

0:14-0:15 – The camera is now positioned directly behind the steering wheel, facing the man who is now looking out of his windshield. he is positioned in the direct middle of the shot, and the rest of his car and the view from outside all of the windows are too blurry to make anything out of. His expression quickly goes from neutral to worried, as he opens his mouth perks up into his chair. The camera cuts to his feet slamming on the breaks. His white shoes contrast with the black interior of the car and black pedals.

The man is now breaking, and there is no mistake about it. He has realized that he is about to crash into another person, and is quickly reacting to break before he hits her. The contrast between the color of his shoes and the interior of the car make this even more clear than it already was.

0:15-17 – The camera has moved to the sidewalk to the right of the car, and is following the car from behind as it moves closer to the woman, who is also visible in the shot. We see the stop sign from earlier in full, and we can also see that the woman was in fact crossing on a crosswalk, legally, and that the driver is whose at fault here. As the car moves closer to the woman, she begins to turn towards the car, hold her arms out, and open her mouth, most likely yelling in fear. Just as the collision is about to occur, the camera cuts to knee level, facing the woman’s left shoulder who is now facing the car directly. Its a similar angle to a pylon camera in an NFL game to see if the ball crossed the endzone or not. The car inches up and bumps into the woman, nonviolently. The woman is able to stay on her feet, and gives a relieved but annoyed expression.

This shot establishes not only that the collision happened, but that it also could have been a lot worse. The director could have made the decision to cut out the collision entirely, suggesting that the crash was too graphic to show, and that the woman did not survive. However, she okay, and theres a reason for that. Think back to the “Think that’s scary?” from earlier. The viewer was being asked to compare the scare level of the shark to what’s happening here. All signs pointed to the woman being severely injured in the crash, but she wasn’t. The audience will be relieved the watching this because they were expecting the worst. After this initial stage of relief, they will once again think about how what they witnessed was scary, but it still could have been so much worse.

0:17-0:20 – The camera cuts to directly in front of the woman’s face. The only other thing we see besides her upper half is some blurry trees in the back. Her expression is once of relief, but she is heavily panting, trying to process what just happened. A few moments later, the camera cuts back to the shot of the mans face behind the steering wheel. His expression is one of terror. He is also panting, similarly to the woman, but he looks like he just saw his life flash before his eyes.

This portion gives the viewer some time to process the same thing that the characters in the ad just had to process. It allows them to sit with the consequences of driving while looking at their phone, but also to once again thing about how this could have been much worse.

0:20-0:23 – A black screen with white text that reads, “The real danger is distracted driving.”

0:23-0:26 – The camera is placed in the drivers seat of the car, close to the cupholder. It reveals that the man’s phone is now in the cupholder, and not in his hand. The camera cuts back to that same angle behind the steering wheel, showing the mans face. He now is looking out of the windshield, with a slight grin. His expression is one of confidence and pride.

0:26-0:30 – The previous shot holds, and white text goes across the screen reading, “Eyes forward, Don’t drive distracted.”

0:20-0:30 is where they really spell out the advertising for you. It warns against distracted driving, and it shows how focused driving can give you a more confident and positive look. The final shot reveals the purpose behind the ad, and it’s to warn against distracted driving.

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Robust Verbs-hockeyplayer

There is a huge problem in Vancouver with heroin addicts committing crimes to support their habits. The “free heroin for addicts” program is doing everything they can to stop the addicts. The problem is that there is a large crime rate due to the addicts. It is obvious that addicts have a hard time getting through their day to day lives. Daily activities such as jobs, interactions, and relationships are hard to maintain because of the fact that they are using. By heroin users being addicted, they will do whatever they have to do to get their hands on the drug. The types of crimes committed are those of breaking and entering as well as stealing. There are no limits to where they will go to retrieve this drug so that they can feed their addiction. The problem with this program is that it won’t help to ween these addicts off using heroin. It is only trying to save the city from rising crime rates that they’re up to. By providing the drug, these addicts will be off the streets, which in turn will prevent them from committing minor street crimes. This will also keep the heroin users out of the hospital. It is pointless that the hospitals have to deal with people that want to use bad drugs or unsanitary needles and find themselves being unable to afford hospital bills and hard to cope without the drug. This program gives people free heroin in the cleanest way possible. This will in turn fix the city  but not the addiction that these people face.

Revised paragraph\

In Vancouver, lots of heroin addicts are committing crimes in support of their hidden habit. While the “free heroin for addicts” program is doing everything they can to stop the addicts. The problem is that there is a large crime rate due to the addicts. It is obvious that addicts have a hard time getting through their day to day lives. Theses addicts will stop at nothing to get these drugs, with no boundaries to what they can do. The program is not going to fix everything in the city but, it can help many people on the streets who deal with this. By providing the drug, these addicts will be off the streets, which in turn will prevent them from committing minor street crimes. The program will give people free heroin in the cleanest way possible in attempt to fix the city but not the addiction these people face.

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