Robust Verbs- Jreggie

Posted on November 8, 2023 by jreggie20

There is a huge problem in Vancouver with heroin addicts committing crimes to support their habits. The “free heroin for addicts” program is doing everything they can to stop the addicts. The problem is that there is a large crime rate due to the addicts. It is obvious that addicts have a hard time getting through their day to day lives. Daily activities such as jobs, interactions, and relationships are hard to maintain because of the fact that they are using. By heroin users being addicted, they will do whatever they have to do to get their hands on the drug. The types of crimes committed are those of breaking and entering as well as stealing. There are no limits to where they will go to retrieve this drug so that they can feed their addiction. The problem with this program is that it won’t help to ween these addicts off using heroin. It is only trying to save the city from rising crime rates that they’re up to. By providing the drug, these addicts will be off the streets, which in turn will prevent them from committing minor street crimes. This will also keep the heroin users out of the hospital. It is pointless that the hospitals have to deal with people that want to use bad drugs or unsanitary needles and find themselves being unable to afford hospital bills and hard to cope without the drug. This program gives people free heroin in the cleanest way possible. This will in turn fix the city but not the addiction that these people face.

1.There is a huge problem in Vancouver with heroin addicts committing crimes to support their habits.

The problem: The sentence takes a little time to get to the main point of what the subject is. It should describe what the addicts in Vancouver are doing first.

The fix: Eliminate the “There is.”.

Rewrite: In Vancouver, heroin addicts are committing crimes to support their habits and its a huge problem.

2.The “free heroin for addicts” program is doing everything they can to stop the addicts.

The problem: The weak “is”

The fix: Eliminate the “is”

Rewrite: The “free heroin for addicts” program are doing everything they can to stop the addicts.

3. The problem is that there is a large crime rate due to the addicts.

The problem: The weak “is that there is” ,this sequence of words are prolonging the main point.

The fix: Eliminate the “is that there is.”

Rewrite: Large crime rates due to the addicts are causing a problem.

4.It is obvious that addicts have a hard time getting through their day to day lives.

The problem: The weak “It is”

The fix: Eliminate “It is”

Rewrite: Addicts have a hard time getting through their day to day lives and its becoming obvious.

5. Daily activities such as jobs, interactions, and relationships are hard to maintain because of the fact that they are using.

The problem: The part of the sentence where its saying “… because of the fact that they are using”, it doesn’t describe what they are in fact using. And the extra “that”.

The fix: Describe what they are using so the reader could understand. Eliminate “that”.

Rewrite: Daily activities such as jobs, interactions, and relationships are hard to maintain because of the fact they are using heroin.

6. By heroin users being addicted, they will do whatever they have to do to get their hands on the drug.

The problem: At the start of the sentence it says “By heroin users being addicted” , we already know that they are addicted to heroin. The cause of that comes second.

The fix: Get rid of the first part of the sentence.

Rewrite: Heroin addicts will do whatever they can to get their hands on it.

7. The types of crimes committed are those of breaking and entering as well as stealing.

The problem: They are prolonging the types of crimes they commit.

The fix: Describe the crimes first.

Rewrite: Breaking and entering as well as stealing are some of the crimes that they commit.

8.There are no limits to where they will go to retrieve this drug so that they can feed their addiction.

The problem: It could be rewritten in a better way.

The fix: Rewrite the sentence.

Rewrite: To retrieve this drug, there are no limits or lengths a heroin addict would go.

9. The problem with this program is that it won’t help to ween these addicts off using heroin.

I personally do not see a problem with this sentence.

10. It is only trying to save the city from rising crime rates that they’re up to.

The problem: It could be rewritten better

The fix: Getting rid of the “is”

Rewrite: It’s only trying to reduce the crime rate from heroin addicts more than helping them.

11. By providing the drug, these addicts will be off the streets, which in turn will prevent them from committing minor street crimes.

I personally do not see any problem with this sentence.

12. This will also keep the heroin users out of the hospital.

The problem: The weak “This” at the beginning of the sentence.

The fix: Eliminate “This”

Rewrite: The Hospital wouldn’t have so many heroin users.

13. It is pointless that the hospitals have to deal with people that want to use bad drugs or unsanitary needles and find themselves being unable to afford hospital bills and hard to cope without the drug.

The problem: The weak “is” and “that”. The use of the word “bad” could be replaced with a better synonym. And could be split into two sentences.

The fix: Get rid of “is” and “bad”

Rewrite: It’s pointless that hospitals have to deal with people who want to use disagreeable drugs or unsanitary needles. By doing so, they find themselves being unable to afford hospital bills and difficult to cope without the drug.

14. This program gives people free heroin in the cleanest way possible. This will in turn fix the city but not the addiction that these people face.

The problem: This sentence could be combine with the conjunction “and” to make a singular sentence. And rewritten in a better way.

Rewrite: The program gives addicts free heroin in the cleanest way possible and in turn fix the city but not the addiction these people face.

Whole Rewrite:

In Vancouver, heroin addicts are committing crimes to support their habits and it’s a huge problem. The “free heroin for addicts” program are doing everything they can to stop the addicts. Large crime rates due to the addicts are causing a problem. Addicts have a hard time getting through their day to day lives and it’s becoming obvious. Daily activities such as jobs, interactions, and relationships are hard to maintain because of the fact they are using heroin. Heroin addicts will do whatever they can to get their hands on it. To retrieve this drug, there are no limits or lengths a heroin addict would go. The problem with this program is that it won’t help to ween these addicts off using heroin. It’s only trying to reduce the crime rate from heroin addicts more than helping them. By providing the drug, these addicts will be off the streets, which in turn will prevent them from committing minor street crimes. The Hospital wouldn’t have so many heroin users. It’s pointless that hospitals have to deal with people who want to use disagreeable drugs or unsanitary needles. By doing so, they find themselves being unable to afford hospital bills and difficult to cope without the drug. The program gives addicts free heroin in the cleanest way possible and in turn fix the city but not the addiction these people face.

Posted in Robust Verbs | Leave a comment

Visual Rewrite- Sunflower828

Posted on November 8, 2023 by louie.doodle.lover

In the first second of the video, there is a black background, which keeps the viewer waiting to see what will appear on the screen. A pure white background appears on the screen following the first second of the video. There is a white wall which meets the white floor of what appears to be either a warehouse or a TV film set.

In the next second of the video, a medium sized, tan dog with dark brown floppy ears, and a white strip of hair down the front of it’s chest comes running into the frame grinning with it’s tail happily wagging. The following second shows the dog smiling, exposing it’s jagged teeth and bright brown eyes, melting the heart of the individual looking at it. Although the dog is not in a typical environment, such as a park or one’s home, it is very cheerful to be in its surroundings. Still wagging it’s tale, the medium sized brown dog with a black collar, holding a swinging silver metal name tag, runs up to what appears to be glass, pressing it’s nose up against it, then running out of frame.

Within the few seconds which follow, the dog, which appears to be a female, reappears from the left side of the frame and heads toward the middle of the unnatural and modern white backdrop, centering itself in front of the camera, still with her tale wagging. The dog stands there for several seconds, smiling with her same jagged teeth and tale wagging in the center of the frame. In the following seconds, the dog, still wagging her tail, darts off and exits the frame on the right side of the screen, then returns a second later, once again smiling.

She holds the smiling pose, exposing her sharp, but well kept, teeth for several seconds in the center of the frame, prior to sitting and holding the same, comfortable, smiling pose. When sitting and smiling, the medium sized brown dog puts her paw up, and taps on the glass, exposing her well kept nails. A second later, she taps the glass again, then looks to the left and exits the screen on the left side, running away in a happy and playful manner.

After the screen displays the white background for a second, she comes jogging in from the back left corner, pausing in the middle of the backdrop. The brown, friendly, dog then shows the viewers a trick and leaps into the air, high enough to clear a four foot fence. Once landing her jump, she exits the frame to the right in the twenty second second, then reappears from bottom of the frame, centering her face in front of the camera, smiling at the viewer once again. The hyper dog races out of the frame again for the final time, with the heart of the viewer in the grasp of her paws, exiting to the left with her tail wagging, happy as can be.

Posted in Visual Rewrite | 5 Comments

Causal (Not Casual) Draft—TheFirstMcLovin

Posted on November 8, 2023 by thefirstmclovin

The Impact of Youth Sports Participation on Education

For a very long time, children’s lives have revolved on sports, which teach them valuable life lessons and physical health. But what link exists between doing sports as a child and doing well in school? While some may argue that athletics detracts from academics, the data clearly demonstrates the opposite to be true. It assists children in acquiring the abilities and traits necessary for academic success. It’s a fantastic method for kids to mature and for them to build character. Additionally, it teaches children the morals necessary for success in life. It’s about supporting one another, not about them neglecting their studies. Everyone wins in this scenario! For students-athletes to succeed in sports, academics must be sacrificed.

Young athletes can significantly improve academic performance through a number of processes, the main one being the physical exercise they give. This involves discipline and time management in addition to consistent physical exercise and teamwork. Since young athletes frequently have to balance practice and school, they may learn important time management and discipline abilities. These abilities can improve students’ ability to prioritize tasks and adhere to deadlines, which has a direct impact on their academic success. Additionally, regular physical activity increases blood flow into the brain, which can improve concentration and cognitive functioning. This increased cognitive ability can have a positive impact on academic performance. Additionally, when children play sports, they may develop a strong sense of community and friendliness, whether it is through a school football team or a local basketball league. This social connection extends beyond the field and can provide a supportive environment in which students can encourage and motivate one another.

The ability to focus better is the main advantage of young sports for students. They learn more effectively, retain knowledge better, and do better on examinations as a result. Some may argue that playing kids sports consumes too much of their time and interferes with their academic pursuits. However, the time management techniques they pick up from athletics help them maximize their time, which improves their academic performance. Students who participate in sports rapidly learn that they must maximize every moment by balancing practice, competitions, assignments, and other obligations. Planning, setting priorities, and avoiding procrastination are skills they acquire that are critical to their academic success.Students may make the most of their physical exercise without feeling overburdened by balancing sports and academics. Striking a balance between academics and athletics is crucial. For children who wish to excel academically and participate in sports, schools and other educational institutions may be a terrific support system. They can give players flexible schedules, mentorship opportunities, and assistance in juggling their sports and academic commitments. You can guarantee that everyone can profit from sports in this way.

Youth sports can be a great way to boost your academic performance. It can help you learn how to manage your time, focus, and develop your social and emotional skills. There are some people who say that sports can be too time-consuming or can cause burnout, but the evidence shows that it’s actually the increase in concentration that makes a big difference. Sports don’t just mix with academics, they help you develop the skills you need to succeed. By creating an environment where kids can use the benefits of sports to help them succeed in school, we can help them become well-rounded people who can excel both on and off the field. The evidence is overwhelming that youth sports aren’t just a distraction from academics, they’re actually key to your success.

References

  • Holt, N. L., Kingsley, B. C., Tink, L. N., & Scherer, J. (2017). Benefits and challenges associated with sport participation by children and parents from low-income families. Psychology of Sport and Exercise, 28, 178-188
  • Hillman, C. H., Pontifex, M. B., Raine, L. B., Castelli, D. M., Hall, E. E., & Kramer, A. F. (2008). The effect of acute treadmill walking on cognitive control and academic achievement in preadolescent children. Neuroscience, 159(3), 1044-1054.
Posted in Causal Draft | 2 Comments

Proposal+5-777sunflower777

Posted on November 8, 2023 by 777sunflower777

~Title~ Is God Real or “Just some word”

For my topic, I want to discover if God is really just a word we use to describe the indescribable, or if he is a true hope for mankind. I will be researching to find any evidence to prove God is real while helping my own faith grow in the process. I want to prove that God is not just some word we use to explain the infinite amount of things we cannot explain, but is eternal and is our hope for one day living everlasting life with him and avoiding hell.

~Research Questions~

  1. Does doubt prove that God is real?
  2. Is science the ultimate source of truth?
  3. If God exists, then how does that prove evolution is not the main source of life on Earth?

~Hypothesis~

  1. Whether God exists or not, we use him as a handy metaphor for all the mysteries in the universe that we cannot explain any other way.

~Sources~

1.Martin, R. K. (n.d.). Having faith in our faith in god: Toward a critical realist … https://www.researchgate.net/publication/248989791_Having_Faith_in_Our_Faith_in_God_Toward_a_Critical_Realist_Epistemology_for_Christian_Education

–Background: In this article, critical realism is used as an epistemological layout of how Christians make sense of their faith, in a world where culture is the main reason the nature of reality is concealed and faith of religion is discredited.

–How I plan to use it: I plan to use this source as a starting stone for diving deeper into trying to discover if God is real or if he’s just some word we use to describe things. Robert K Martin did an amazing job in covering the challenges many believers face within their own faith.

2. King, Dr. D. (2021, November 23). Is science the ultimate source of truth?. King Ministries | Evangelist Daniel King | Our Goal? Every Soul! https://kingministries.com/proof-god-is-real/is-science-the-ultimate-source-of-truth/

–Background: This article explores the question “Is science the ultimate source of truth.” Dr. King, explains how science can be used to answer any question you may have about the “truth” and how it may not always be science but someone or something more powerful that that. He tries to prove that God is the ultimate source of truth with the help of science.

–How I plan to use it: I will use the article to try to explain how yes we believe that science is the main reason why were alive today and yes that may be partially true, but there is someone who created science which in turn created us as human beings.

3. Herrmann E. On the Distinction between the Concept of God and Conceptions of God. International journal for philosophy of religion. 2008;64(2):63-73. doi:10.1007/s11153-008-9163-z

–Background: This article debates the concept of God and conceptions of God. Eberhard Hermann argues against metaphysical realism about if it is more reasonable to claim a concept or to look for more fitting conceptions and assesses those claims.

–How I plan to use it: I will use this article to explore more within the thought that concepts and conceptions are two totally different things and how that may impact the way we see and believe God.

4. Craig WLane, Sinnott-Armstrong W. God? A Debate between a Christian and an Atheist. Oxford University Press; 2004.

–Background: This article is a debate between a Christian who believes God is the truth to everything, and an atheist who doesn’t believe in God at all.

–How I plan to use it: I plan to use this to be able to explain the other side, the thoughts of maybe God is not real. I will use the atheists point of view and the Christians point of view to aid in discovering the big mystery of God.

5. The Bible

–Background: The Bible is the scripture of the Christian religion. It tells the history of Earth from the earliest creation. Throughout the book, there are different books with different authors, all narrating what they have seen and encountered. This follows Jesus’ life and tells about everything he has done and everything he plans to do.

–How I plan to use it: I couldn’t think of a better source to use. I will use the Bible the uncover any “scientific” truths that ultimately lead back to God. This will help me determine the only logical reason of life on Earth.

Posted in Proposal+5 | 2 Comments

Visual Rewrite-babyyoda1023

Posted on November 8, 2023 by babyyoda1023

0:00-0:02

In the first scene, a middle-aged African American guy sits by himself in a residence. Based on the arrangement of the windows, we assume that it is a house. He gazes through the bottom pane of one of two windows. He is in a room with a “glass corner” formed by a third window that is positioned at a right angle to the other two. The dude appears well-groomed. He is only visible from the waist up, but his posture against the window and the fact that he is staring out the lower pane indicate that he is seated, possibly on a bed’s edge. A chair is not in sight. Our view is limited to what is outside the windows. The yard is heavily shaded by the surrounding trees, but the sky is a clear blue color from the tops of the trees. Even though it’s daylight, the man’s room is quite gloomy; we can hardly see anything he’s wearing aside from his solid-colored, dark shirt, which looks to be buttoned up to his neck. He may be dressed for business or play, but not for exercise.

0:02-0:03

For the first two seconds, he is largely still, but we can tell it’s a video because his head shifts sufficiently. Then he makes a little movement with his folded hands, giving the impression that he is praying. He does seem to be staring out the window, and his eyes are open. The tone is gloomy. Alone in a dimly lit room, he muses on a brilliant day’s dark yard. We feel alone, or at least isolated. He states ” I wonder if you know I want the best for you”. The intention of the makers is to convey that he is thinking about something. The product being promoted in this scene is probably a candidate who would need counseling.

0:04-0:05

The next scene transitions into a young African American boy outside on a field in his soccer uniform. He is clearly at a soccer match because he is seated on the ground along with apparent things like a soccer ball and teammates wearing shinguards. He appears to be staring at someone, who we can assume to be a coach, and he is clearly sweating. It seems to be a hot day, with evidence providing the sun beaming on the players, and seeing shadows next to each individual. The child and his teammates are encircled staring at a coach. Everyone is sweating profusely, indicating that they have either finished a game or practice, and a coach is providing them with post-workout comments.

0:05-0:07

The child in the soccer uniform is shown in the following scene, which is a close-up of him listening to his coach. He has a highly sweaty appearance and appears tired and contemplative. He’s scanning the area. The author wants viewers to be aware of how thoughts have the power to divert attention.

0:08-0:10

A father and son are seen working out together outside as the video cuts to a new scene. They are outside, as evidenced by the sweat trickling down their faces, and the humidity is high. The question “But how long will you fight solo?” appears in text on this screen. It is obvious that the father and son are training for an event because they have taped up their hands especially for boxing gloves. They both appear to be focused and in sync as they portray different boxing techniques. One can see having a “strong” mentality in this scene. The author shows that strengthening and focusing come from working through your thoughts.

0:11-0:13

Two men are seen walking around a warehouse carrying boxes as the scenes change. They are breathing heavily and appear tired. The line “I wonder if you know we can get help” appears in the text for this scene. The filmmaker wants viewers to see the advantages of seeking assistance.

0:14-0:16

In the following scene, a boy is in a private room speaking with his therapist. With only one visible window, the room is extremely dark. It is daytime because the sun is shining through. The young boy is seen in the video with only the back of his head visible, but he is motioning with his hands to the therapist as though he’s clarifying a situation. It appears that the therapist is across the room in a chair with a notebook, and he is seated on a coach. Viewers can now see that it’s acceptable to discuss personal issues with others.

0:17-0:18

A new video shows a father and daughter playing outside. With her teddy bear wrapped around her father’s shoulders, the daughter is beaming with happiness. The father is moving to show motion. The image presents a background of a perfectly blue sky. The sentence “Not wondering anymore” appears in this scene’s text.

0:19-0:21

All the visuals finish, but the word “Love” appears on the gray screen. This word is used first by the author to emphasize the value of love in a person’s life.

0:22-0:24

The word “your mind” follows, keeping with the same gray image with the text “Love”. Saying “Love, your mind” as a closing statement. This sentence illustrates for viewers the positive effects of treating yourself and your thoughts with kindness. This video’s goal is to show various instances of people who are caught in personal conflict at the beginning, but it also concludes with showing examples of people who are receiving help.

0:25-0:30

A link to LoveYourMindToday.org, which provides mental health resources, appears on the final screen.

Posted in Visual Rewrite | 9 Comments

Proposal +5–StoneHarbor91

Posted on November 8, 2023 by stoneharbor91

Stress Correlation to Heart Disease 

In my research paper, I will be studying the correlation between stress and heart disease. The heart is the soul of our bodies, it’s located in the circulatory system and pumps blood around our body as our heart beats. The heart doesn’t only give us life physically; it is the essence of our emotions. 

Our hearts are innervated. A few nerves supply slowness and others control the “fight or flight” response which is a release of hormones. This connects with the brain, when the brain is sent a signal it flies through the rest of the body within milliseconds. Stress is one of the most heavy emotions and is a silent killer. In fight or flight scenarios, our heart releases a hormone called adrenaline causing our heart to race and blood pressure to rise. Hyperarousal people experience fight or flight mode more often than the average person. Therefore, this group of people can develop high blood pressure. High blood pressure can damage your arteries by making them less elastic, which decreases the flow of blood and oxygen to your heart and leads to heart disease. In addition, the decreased blood flow to the heart can cause chronic heart disease. 

Sources:

1: https://www.nhsinform.scot/illnesses-and-conditions/heart-and-blood-vessels/about-the-heart/how-the-heart-works/#:~:text=It’s%20the%20 muscle%20at%20the,carbon%20dioxide%20and%20waste%20products.

Background: This article supplies me with information about how the heart designins the body.

How I will use this information: How the heart works is beneficial to all the other systems in our body to keep us alive and breathing yet it connects to our psyche. 

2: 

https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/encyclopedia/content.aspx?ContentTypeID=1&ContentID=2171#:~:text=The%20 hormone%20 cortisol%20 is%20 released,risk%20factors%20 for%20 heart%20 disease.

Background: This article examines the hormone that is released when stress is occurring and supplies readers information on how to regulate your stress to benefit your daily life. 

How I will use this information: When this hormone is released it increases heart rate and blood pressure leading to heart disease. 

3. https://www.cdc.gov/bloodpressure/about.htm

Background: This article supplies in depth information about blood pressure and the long term outcomes correlating with the heart. 

How I will use this information: Why high blood pressure is bad for our systems. 

4. https://www.psychologytools.com/resource/fight-or-flight-response/#:~:text=Overly%20 frequent%2C%20intense%2C%20 or%20 inappropriate,the%20fight%20or%20flight%20response.

Background: This article explains why the “fight or flight response” is a clinical condition. 

How I will use this information: Hyperarousal people who are stuck in fight or flight response will have a higher probability of having heart disease. 

5. https://www.mayoclinichealthsystem.org/hometown-health/speaking-of-health/tips-to-keep-stress-from-hurting-your-heart

Background: This article examines healthy habits individuals can pick up to help keep their stress low. 

How I will use this information: The fixing of stress to lower the probability of heart disease. 

Posted in Proposal+5 | 2 Comments

Causal Rewrite—Anonymous

Posted on November 8, 2023 by ANONYMOUS

Thousand Cuts

When the gaming market crashes, it won’t be with a bang or an explosion. It will be with a whimper. The gaming industry is one of the largest growing industries of all time, succeeding with books, movies, and other legacy industries becoming a titian among titans. It’s hard to believe that something that screams “too big to fail” all over could ever crash, and is very unlikely it will hit shortly, but closer to our present than you think. The crash will not be caused by a single devastating blow but by a death of a thousand cuts. Cuts that, if left to fester and decay, will poison the industry built around those cuts, seeing them as a necessary evil instead of what they are. In the gaming sector multiple avenues in which the current system in place in the industry fails repeatedly. To major AAA developers and investors, these cuts seem like a drop in the bucket; in the grand scheme of things, losing a couple of million dollars by releasing a bad game is fine. Employee turnover? Just get more employees and reviewers not enjoying the game then pay them off. Game studios cannot deliver games that sell unrealistic sales numbers, so they liquidate the company and sell it off for a quick profit. Selling a game at a sixty(now seventy) dollar price tag is not enough anymore, and neither is loading it with microtransactions to make their money back. What happens when you can’t afford a game to be a flop, when you have no more employees you can’t exploit, when you have no more studios that make games, when the consumer gets fed up with predatory practices in games they pay for? This short-sightedness leads to an upsetting present and an ominous future.

Game development, like a machine, has many moving parts to make it work. Every component is essential, and each deserves equal respect,, but sadly, this isn’t always the case. Game developers take many forms and shapes. Game directors who keep the vision of the game intact, concept artists who develop the game’s personality through their art, game testers who make sure the game bugs are dealt with before the initial release, and the code monkeys themselves who pound away making lines of code to create a playable experience. The human element of games should always be a priority, but what happens when that human element is used and abused to the point of breaking? Crunch is a common practice used in the game industry where employees spend inhumane overtime hours in their office (usually without overtime pay), slaving away at their desks trying to get as much work done as possible in the hope that the game ends up worth the sacrifice. The sad part about this is that the crunch in the gaming industry is often self-inflicted due to the culture surrounding the industry and the expectations from peers. This is called “good crunch”. In the paper  Game Industry Discourses Perpetuate Unsustainable Labor Practices by Amanda C. Cote and Brandon C. Harris

m. “In the case of crunch and labor practices, this research considers “good crunch,” the self-imposed or scheduled crunch that developers endure to make the best games possible, as a form of cruel optimism. This is because developers set good crunch up in opposition to (indeed, as a solution to) problems of bad crunch or extended overtime imposed on developers by publishers or technology”. Crunch, whether self-inflicted or mandated by upper management, is inherently toxic to the industry; as crunch has become commonplace instead of a last resort, the sector becomes reliant on a procedure that destroys employees.

Game reviews are intrinsically linked to the games industry and thus to the game development process. Industry leaders expect that a major release will be profitable and reviewed well, hoping to increase profits further due to good press. In Nikolai Surminskis’s The Role of Video Game Quality in the Financial Markets Journal, he states, “Data on a game’s financial success is only available weeks or months after the game’s launch. This means that game quality measured through reviews is the only new information released to the market during the release.”. Making a good game is the hard part and is in the hands of the developers; the same developers that are being crunched to complete said game good will eventually lead to burnout. When developers burn out, mistakes get made, people quit, and holes in development start to show. These holes cause games to get worse in the process, meaning that the same practice the industry uses to make their games is the same process, making the game review worse.

The Game industry loves to chase trends because its way easier to profit in an increasingly expensive market. When “World of Warcraft” came out and made an absurd amount of money, everyone wanted to make an MMO, same with Call of Duty and Fortnite. Now, game companies are not just chasing genre but copying a popular marketing strategy called ( GAAS) or games as a service. This strategy is used to make a single game last as long and be as profitable as possible, usually by implementing content packs before and after the initial release and microtransactions. GAAS is greatly inspired by the mobile game market, which profits nearly double the console market, as seen in the J Clements Market revenue chart in 2022. The problem with GAAS is that it’s a mobile game system with a premium price tag being used on games. There’s a big difference between being subjected to microtransactions in a free-to-download game that you play for an hour max on your phone versus a premium 70$ product that you need to pay hundreds of dollars for a console to have an opportunity to play and still needing to sell more money to get all of the content it has to offer. It pressures consumers to pay more for less and effectively lowers engagement instead of retaining it.

References

Clement, J. (2023, August 29). Global gaming revenue by segment 2022. Statista. https://www.statista.com/statistics/292751/mobile-gaming-revenue-worldwide-device/#:~:text=In%202022%2C%20mobile%20games%20generated,U.S.%20dollars%20in%20global%20revenue.

Cote, A. C., & Harris, B. C. (2021). The cruel optimism of “good crunch”: How game industry discourses perpetuate unsustainable labor practices. New Media & Society, 25(3), 609–627. https://doi.org/10.1177/14614448211014213

Surminski, N. (2023, June 3). The role of video game quality in financial markets. . https://www.diva-portal.org/smash/get/diva2:1773250/FULLTEXT01.pdf

Posted in Causal Rewrite | 4 Comments

Causal Rewrite- Sunflower828

Posted on November 8, 2023 by louie.doodle.lover

TikTok Tic- Tok, Time For Depression To Go Away!

When teens find a community on TikTok, it causes their depression to be reduced and even cured in some cases. The various forms of content aid viewers in their recovery and allow the sufferers to cope with particular symptoms of depression. Relatability amongst content creators allows users to feel as though they have a companion and role model to guide them through their adversity, which leads to an improvement regarding their mental struggle. Teens are able to find comfort in the short videos of the user, which impacts their mood and mental state. The more a viewer watches the content which a creator posts on TikTok, the more relief they will be able to feel, as they are connecting with the influencer. By finding a community on platform to which a user feels a sense of belonging, the use of TikTok allows the user to feel less lonesome, causing the depression of the user to lessen.

When a teen frequently views the videos of a particular creator or videos which pertain to a specific topic, the TikTok algorithm begins to pick up on this. The TikTok algorithm will continue to generate content which is related to or similar to the content that the view found to be most interesting. As a sufferer begins to use TikTok more and interacts more frequently with the videos on their screen, the algorithm spits out similar videos. When a user shares, likes, comments, saves, or watches a video for an extended time period or even more than one time, it causes the algorithm to recognize the post as something the viewer enjoyed. The more the user does this, the more refined their content will quickly become, allowing their whole feed to be content they desire. When a user finds a content creator relatable, they are able to interact with the content of the user and the algorithm will bring them back to their sense of home and community,

Various types of videos are posted on the app, serving as a way for users to express themselves. Through this concept, some users choose to post comedic videos, while others post about their lives, some post dances, and a majority of content creators post about a cause or experience that is near and dear to their heart. In this specific case, influencers that post about their struggle with depression are extremely appealing to users that are suffering from the same mental struggle. As a sufferer using TikTok continues to interact with and view the videos of the content creator who is sharing their personal testimony regarding their struggle, the algorithm built into the app will recognize it. Once the algorithm acknowledges the consistencies within the videos being liked by the user, specifically the videos regarding depression, videos containing information about depression are more commonly shown to the sufferer. Within the comment section, the creator and viewers are able to interact, where they can develop a friendship. With the comment section being visible to other users, they are able to join in on the conversation regarding the topic of depression which applies to them, allowing a community to be formed.

Each time a TikTok user who is suffering from depression opens the app, content that can serve as a form of therapy that is able to be displayed on their screen. Through the continued use and interaction within the app, the TikTok algorithm will successfully present the content of relatable influencers which sufferers long for. By viewing and engaging in the generated content, users dealing with the debilitating thoughts of depression are able to stimulate a response to the content, allowing it to serve as a coping mechanism. Through this concept, TikTok takes on a new reputation of being a positive resource in treating mental health struggles, particularly depression. Videos ranging from seconds to several minutes provide consultation for the watching sufferer, allowing them to particularly focus on content which is most helpful to their recovery. 

While therapy is seen to be a valuable resource for treating depression, it is not available all the time, and not all civilians suffering with depression have access to therapy. By having a one hour appointment once a week, it gives users limited time to develop coping mechanisms to combat their depression and even less time to speak about their feelings. Through this free online platform, users who are fighting the debilitating feelings are able to open the app at any time, and watch any video that will aid in their struggle for an unlimited amount of time. TikTok can serve as a form of therapy in a moment’s instance, whereas physical therapy must be scheduled and planned. By having the app, serving as a coping mechanism, in the palm of the hand of a user suffering from depression, it allows relief to be almost instantaneous. Once the content consumer finds an influencer who helps them battle their struggle, they are able to open the app directly to their page and find a feeling of peace and escape from the depressive thoughts consuming their mind. 

Once the content within the app known as TikTok is able to cure or lessen the dark and depressive thoughts of a user, they have the ability to share their story. If one chooses to, they could also make videos discussing their battle with depression and what helped them out of the situation. By viewing the potential video which the said person could create, it will then continue to reach others who are sharing that same struggle, allowing for a community to be formed. Through this process, more and more content consumers struggling with depression are able to be reached, enhancing the therapeutic component within the app. If a user is not comfortable making videos or sharing their story regarding their previous, or current, depressive state, they have the ability to comment on videos, which will still reach their intended audience. Through captivating the audience in the comments, the user will still be able to share their story without having to verbally speak or show their face on the platform. Through the connections made between users in the comments and the influencer who posted the content, a community can be formed which addresses the struggle with depression. Each member of the newly developed online depression community has the ability to lift the other users up through their testimonies, reminding them they are not alone within this dark period in their life. The TikTok group is also able to share coping mechanisms which helped them recover from their depressive state or episodes, overall bettering the lives and mental health of those who associate with the community. 

References

Behar, Virginie. “Healing the Depressed Self: A Study of Social Media Therapy.” DIVA, 21 June 2023, http://www.diva-portal.org/smash/record.jsf?pid=diva2%3A1771491&dswid=9058.

Posted in Causal Rewrite | 7 Comments

Casual rewrite- Youngthug03

Posted on November 8, 2023 by youngthug03

Retail Health Clinics Will Become
America’s Go-To Healthcare Option

There are many reasons for the common American to not choose to go to their primary doctor. There are many other resources like urgent care, retail clinics, and even the ER. There are numerous reasons for the common American to factor in while choosing the best route for their needs when they become sick or injured. Some injuries or sickness can be worse than others and cause them no choice but to go to the ER. However, today many Americans are taking different courses of action when it comes down to being sick or injured. There are many benefits to going to an urgent care compared to a primary doctor yet there still might be another option that is even better. Around 15 years ago retail health clinics started to pop up. Today there are around 2,000 of them across the country. In recent years, retail health clinics have been becoming more popular across the country due to the many benefits that come with going to a retail health clinic compared to a primary doctor or urgent care. 

Retail health has been growing at a fast speed throughout the US. Retail health clinics are located within retail stores, pharmacies, food stores, and many other locations. Having retail health clinics located in types of places makes it very easy and accessible for people. In the article, “Health Care Clinics: Current perspectives” it states, “Evidence suggests that 21% of retail clinic patients are seen immediately and 54% wait <15 minutes. The total visit duration for a retail clinic from check-in to check-out is 32 minutes, compared to 81.9 minutes at a physician office.” Wait times can be a big factor for Americans when they are seeking for medical attention. No sick person wants to be waiting around in a waiting room for longer than they have to. These retail health clinics are designed to have patients seen quickly and efficiently. Beside the convenience of the location of these clinics and the short wait times, they are also very upfront about prices for their services.

With low prices, some Americans might see this as suspicious or think that the clinics aren’t as good as the urgent cares or a primary doctor visit; however this is not the cause. In the article, “Health Care Clinics: Current perspectives” it states, “One of the main distinguishing features of retail clinics is the provision of a menu-style pricing system that is displayed in most sites and on the operators’ websites. For example, at CVS’ MinuteClinic, prices of minor illness exams, minor injury exams, and skin condition exams range between $79 and $99. Screenings and physical exams and health condition monitoring range between $59 and $109, whereas vaccinations range between $31.99 and $234.99. Patients with insurance coverage have a co-pay that is similar to or less than their primary care physician co-pay, depending on their individual plan.” These clinics are not only being clear and transparent about their prices but also are seen to be much less expensive than other alternatives. One of the most important and many factors that cause the common American to go to an alternative doctor compared to their primary doctor, is because of cost. In addition to the low prices, these clinics accept a great deal of insurance. Although not everyone has insurance the costs of these visits are seen to be much lower than any of the other options like the ER or urgent care. 

They are able to give medications and are able to treat many illnesses and injuries that you may come across in a day to day. In the article “Retail Healthcare Update: Disrupting Traditional Care by Patient Needs” it also states that “The scope of practice allows retail providers to follow treatment guidelines and, in some cases, provide better care than that received in a primary care physician or ED visit.” With this being said, these retail healthcare providers are seen to have high quality care for their patients at affordable prices for the common American with or without insurance. This is a very important factor due to most Americans that may not go to the doctor at all because of high prices or having to pay an immense amount of money for a low-quality doctor’s visit. Additionally, the article states that, “They provide a bevy of benefits including locally based and immediate care, lower and transparent costs, shorter wait times, and direct access to medications.” Taking that into consideration, these retail healthcare clinics are not only priced fairly but also are able to give the services and medications that are necessary for their patients. 

These retail health clinics are a very good way for the common American to be able to stay healthy and not spend a vast amount of money on a doctor’s visit. One of the most common issues that Amricans run into is cost. Not all Americans are able to afford or have access to good or any health insurance. When you find yourself without insurance it can be very difficult to be able to stay healthy or even have the option to be able to go to the doctor. At the same time Americans with insurance still have to pay large amounts of money for doctors visits. With this being said these retail healthcare clinics are very critical to all Americans, insured or not. Although in a perfect world the common American would not have to choose between being sick or spending a large amount of money to be healthy. Americans should just be able to go to the doctors when necessary with no worries in if they will be able to afford it or not. In the article “Health Insurance and Access to HealthCare in the United States” it states, “Health insurance, poverty, and health are all interconnected. Among the poor, more than a third have no health coverage (36%) and those who are near-poor (incomes between one and two times the poverty level) are not much better off, with 30% uninsured.” While the insured common American still has to pay loads of money for primary, urgent care, and ER visits; The uninsured have much larger amounts of money that they have to pay when in need of a doctor. This is why retail healthcare clinics are becoming one of the most valuable ways to get treated when sick or injured. Due to the cost efficiency and accessibility for the common american. 

For the many purposes of going to see a doctor in America, it can still be a stresser to people. From the costs, accessibility, and over quality in care. Unfortunately the US is not one of the many countries in the world that have free healthcare. So because of this numerous Americans everyday stumble across this issue of affording and being able to get good quality care for their needs. 

References 

Hoffman , C., & Paradise , J. (2008, July 5). Health Insurance and Access to Health Care in the United States. The New York Academy of Sciences. Health Insurance and Access to Health Care in the United States – Hoffman – 2008 – Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences – Wiley Online Library

Gaur , K. C., Sobhani , M., & Saxon , L. A. (n.d.). Retail Healthcare Update: Disrupting Traditional Care by Focusing on Patient Needs. The Journal of MHealth. https://thejournalofmhealth.com/retail-healthcare-update-disrupting-traditional-care-by-focusing-on-patient-needs/

(2023, February 19). Health Care Clinics: Current perspectives. Taylor & Franis Online. https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.2147/IEH.S88610

Posted in Causal Rewrite | 5 Comments

Causal Rewrite-babyyoda1023

Posted on November 8, 2023 by babyyoda1023

Low Self-Esteem

A low sense of self-worth might be characterized by a lack of confidence in one’s own skills. For instance, a quarterback with low self-esteem can be more fixated on the interception he threw than the 20 receptions he made after winning a championship game. His confident running back, meanwhile, can only recall his one-yard touchdown and has already forgotten about his two fumbles. The article on counseling and mental health published in the “Texas Division of Student Affairs” states that self-esteem is more significant than the normal ups and downs brought on by situational changes. Neither person’s faith in their own convictions can be undermined by external evidence, nor by receiving a great deal of positive or negative feedback. Over the course of our lives, as we form an identity through interactions with other people and activities, our self-esteem changes. Having low self-esteem can stem from external forces, such as early childhood trauma and past experiences. Early childhood experiences are very important in forming one’s sense of self and allows for feelings of safety and love. Children having a positive emotional development is crucial since it will affect how well they manage their own emotions as well as their capacity to form positive interactions with peers. The article “Self Esteem and Mental Health” discusses how our upbringing—including the treatment we received from our peers, teachers, coaches, parents, and religious leaders—built our self-esteem.

People with poor self-esteem have deeply held self-beliefs that cause them to think negatively all the time because of prior trauma. Traumatic events have the power to undermine a person’s sense of self and have an impact on their self-esteem. Trauma frequently causes individuals to believe that things are hectic, and we have no control of our circumstances. In the article “How Trauma Affects Your Self Esteem”, Trauma shatters trust in ourselves, others, and the world around. It gets harder to believe we should have good experiences and to feel protected. Rebuilding confidence can be difficult when there is a lack of trust because it might lower our self-esteem. Identity disruption can also result from early trauma. It can be difficult to feel confident in who we are, which can cause uncertainty and loss of identity when memories or triggers from the past come back to torment us. These obstacles prohibit us from moving forward with more beneficial thought patterns and make us feel stuck.

Trauma affects, challenges, and modifies our self-perception. It also tests our relationship with our own life and emotions. Childhood experiences such as lying to oneself, fear, bullying, and disapproving parents can all contribute to poor self-esteem. A few factors that might make someone feel horrible include not fitting in at school, finding it difficult to live up to parent standards, and being abused or neglected, according to the article “Self-Esteem and Mental Health.” Any early events might result in identity loss if we let ourselves get consumed and obsessed on the worst parts of life. Whether we like to admit it or not, the events of the past—especially the ones that made us lack confidence—continue to shape the way we live our daily lives as we get older. We can identify situations that made us sensitive and link those behaviors to unproductive actions.

Low self-esteem people believe they are unimportant and that nothing they do will change, while high self-esteem people believe they can accomplish anything they set their minds to. Trauma’s detrimental effects on one’s sense of self-worth can contribute to harshness and self-hatred. In “The Toxic Effects of Negative Self-Talk” Author Elizabeth Scott states, self-talk that is critical prevents you from realizing your own potential and from having faith in your own talents. It’s any thinking that undermines your confidence and your capacity to change your life for the better. Therefore, having negative self-talk can seriously hinder your success in addition to being unpleasant. The article “Good Therapy” supports this idea by stating that trauma harms the mind by generating false thoughts and conclusions that don’t make sense. These ideas chip away at your self-worth and fuel negative perceptions to the point where the resulting crippling self-loathing makes you want to run away, hide, and always apologize for being alive. 

 Unresolved childhood trauma, according to the “Emotional and Psychological Trauma” document, leads to severe trauma and a decline in self-esteem as well as a sense of fear and helplessness that lasts into adulthood. When questioned about their life choices or successes, children whose egos have been bruised by neglect, abuse, or simple apathy as a child internalize their inner critic as a cruel parent; they frequently respond, “I always hear my father’s voice telling me I’ll never amount to anything.” He’s always criticizing me in my brain, even when I’ve accomplished something to be proud of.”According to a study cited in the article “Trauma and Self Esteem,” the development of PTSD results in a reduction of memory and attentional function. This interferes with daily living and encourages self-denial, hence lowering one’s sense of self-worth. This “inner voice” constantly reminds your subconscious mind of the unpleasant feelings you’ve had in the past and reminds yourself of the negative lessons associated with those bad childhood events.

Low self-esteem can have devastating consequences. According to the “Texas Division of Student Affairs” article on counseling and mental health, low self-esteem can cause several problems, including difficulty managing one’s emotions, an inability to make educated choices, impaired cognitive functioning, increased sensitivity to stressors as an adult, and an increased risk for mental health disorders like depression and anxiety. These devasting effects could hinder someone’s career and academic success, as well as creating more negative feelings. One may enter a downward spiral of self-destructive behavior because of low self esteem.

References

Australia, H. (2023, -08-01T01:49:06.424Z). Self-esteem and mental health. Retrieved Nov 1, 2023, from https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/self-esteem

CMHC Self Esteem. https://cmhc.utexas.edu/selfesteem.html

Emotional and Psychological Trauma – HelpGuide.org. https://www.helpguide.org. Retrieved Nov 1, 2023, from https://www.helpguide.org/articles/ptsd-trauma/coping-with-emotional-and-psychological-trauma.htm

How to Reduce Negative Self-Talk for a Better Life. Verywell Mind. Retrieved Nov 1, 2023, from https://www.verywellmind.com/negative-self-talk-and-how-it-affects-us-4161304

Mental Health: How Unresolved Childhood Trauma Impacts Adult Decision Making? Retrieved Nov 1, 2023, from https://www.india.com/health/mental-health-how-unresolved-childhood-trauma-impacts-adult-decision-making-6436317/

Susanne M. Dillmann.GoodTherapy | How Trauma Impacts Your Sense of Self: Part I. https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/identity-trauma/

Posted in Causal Rewrite | Leave a comment