Low Self-Esteem
As soon as we become aware of ourselves, and our surroundings, self-esteem begins to develop. In an ideal world, our self-esteem would highlight and reflect each of our successes. However even while it’s vital for psychological survival, our perception of our own value can be harmful if it doesn’t satisfy some basic needs. The article “The Feeling of Self-Esteem” defines self-esteem as the feelings, both good and bad, that we have about ourselves. How well we think of our own appearance and performance, as well as how content we are with social interactions, can all be indicators of self-esteem. Mood swings, trouble communicating with people, and interpersonal conflict are just a few of the many repercussions of low self-esteem.
Even while feelings of self-worth can fluctuate quickly, it appears that everyone has a baseline amount of self-worth that determines whether they are generally happy or unhappy with who they are. The sociometer theory focuses on the relationship between general self-esteem and social interactions. In the sociometer theory, one’s sense of acceptance by others is measured by their own self-esteem. Individuals who suffer from low self-esteem think they are less attractive, caring, and they also think they are less worthy of good things coming to them. It seems counterintuitive that people with negative self-views prefer negative evaluations, while discrediting positive ones, but they cannot escape their baseline of harshness. Authors Mckay and Fanning of “A Proven Program of Cognitive Techniques for Assessing, Improving, and Maintaining Your Self-Esteem” explain how a person’s self-evaluations are greatly influenced by the particular circumstances they face in life. It is more likely that people may self-verify the negative aspects of their own self-concept in situations where they are insecure about their flaws.
Even while feelings of self-worth can fluctuate quickly, it appears that everyone has a baseline amount of self-worth that determines whether they are generally happy or unhappy with who they are. The sociometer theory focuses on the relationship between general self-esteem and social interactions. In the sociometer theory, one’s sense of acceptance by others is measured by their own self-esteem. Individuals who suffer from low self-esteem think they are less attractive, caring, and they also think they are less worthy of good things coming to them. It seems counterintuitive that people with negative self-views prefer negative evaluations, while discrediting positive ones, but they cannot escape their baseline of harshness. Authors Mckay and Fanning of “A Proven Program of Cognitive Techniques for Assessing, Improving, and Maintaining Your Self-Esteem” explain how a person’s self-evaluations are greatly influenced by the particular circumstances they face in life. It is more likely that people may self-verify the negative aspects of their own self-concept in situations where they are insecure about their flaws. In “Mechanisms Underlying Self-Esteem Differences in Motivation to Repair Sad Moods,” authors Joanne Wood and colleagues describe how the Sociometer theory clarifies the contextual factors influencing feelings of unworthiness and how recent research suggests recalling a previous rejection reduces mood, undermines self-worth, and casts doubt on one’s sense of personal deservingness. This causes people with low self-worth to decrease productivity and get themselves out of depressive states. Their true self-perception is depressed by their incapacity to improve positivity in their life while attempting to preserve cognitive balance.
People who have low self-esteem will discover that self-verification and self-enhancement work against each other. Author Olivia Evans describes how people look for evidence to support their beliefs about themselves, whether they are favorable or negative, in her article “Self Verification Theory.” Even when others give them positive feedback, people still have a tendency to hold onto the same assumptions about themselves. The self-verification theory states that even in situations where acceptance is offered, feelings of rejection endure. As a result, if one was reared in a setting where accomplishment is valued highly, even top performers may struggle with self-doubt. Having been taught from infancy to cultivate self-assurance and self-worth, they interpret any setback as a personal failure. Helping someone’s self-worth reflect their successes might have the unintended consequence of making them always feel unfulfilled and on the hunt for wholeness, as author Alison Berman points out in her article titled “The Dangers of Basing Self-worth on Achievement.”
Cognitive distortions are the cause of these anxiety-inducing events and low opinions about oneself. This article, “15 Cognitive Distortions To Blame for Negative Thinking,” describes cognitive distortions as the ways in which our thoughts can trick us into believing less of ourselves in comparison to the outside world. These deeply rooted mental filters or stereotypes, according to a Harvard Health report, make people feel less confidence in themselves and raise their anxiety levels. One’s feelings and opinions regarding a circumstance become the actual perspective of the issue, regardless of any contradicting information. Prescott Lecky’s thesis, as presented in “The Handbook of Social Psychology,” holds that people are compelled to cling to persistent self-views because they provide their beliefs with a strong sense of coherence. Everyone experiences cognitive distortions from time to time. Numerous more cognitive filters, such as catastrophizing and excluding the good, are frequently used in emotional thinking, as discussed in “15 Cognitive Distortions To Blame for Negative Thinking.” It is a part of the human experience, although people who become angry or depressed easily tend to feel it more than others.
When unpleasant events occur, people with low self-esteem often react emotionally with greater negativity. Negative self-evaluations come from the critical, judgmental inner voice that lives in our minds and seems normal and familiar. It could be harder for those who lack assurance and confidence to control their inner critic. In the book “A Proven Program of Cognitive Techniques for Assessing, Improving, and Maintaining Your Self-Esteem,” author Matthew Mckay explains that although the internal critic appears to have a free will and autonomy, it is all a delusion. The critic is a psychological jackal who preys on people’s optimistic views of themselves, undermining and demolishing their self-assurance.
In general, we exist on a continuum that some would consider successful, and others would perceive as failure, sometimes tragically even ourselves. We are neither who we think we are nor who other people think we are. Our thoughts, which are impacted by our concerns of being exposed and being inauthentic, have a significant impact on our moods and behaviors. In the article, “Why Low Self-Esteem may be Resistant to Change,” author Robert Joseph claims that inclusionary status has no direct bearing on an individual’s success or failure. People who have poor self-esteem could therefore be less aware of their own successes and failures.
References
https://psychcentral.com/lib/cognitive-distortions-negative-thinking. 15 Cognitive Distortions to Blame for Your Negative Thinking. (2016, May 17). Psych Central.
https://medium.com/personal-growth/the-dangers-of-basing-self-worth-on-achievement-54d125633b33. Berman, A. E. (2015, November 7). The Dangers of Basing Self-worth on Achievement. Personal Growth.
https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.82.1.128. Heimpel, S. A., Wood, J. V., Marshall, M. A., & Brown, J. D. (2002). Do people with low self-esteem really want to feel better? Self-esteem differences in motivation to repair negative moods. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 82(1), 128–147.
https://opentextbc.ca/socialpsychology/chapter/the-feeling-self-self-esteem/. Jhangiani, D. R., & Tarry, D. H. (2022). 3.2 The Feeling Self: Self-Esteem.
https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167203029007010. Josephs, R., Bosson, J., & Jacobs, C. (2003). Self-Esteem Maintenance Processes: Why Low Self-Esteem may be Resistant to Change. Personality & Social Psychology Bulletin, 29, 920–933.
McKay, M., & Fanning, P. (2016). Self-Esteem: A Proven Program of Cognitive Techniques for Assessing, Improving, and Maintaining Your Self-Esteem. New Harbinger Publications.
https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/how-to-recognize-and-tame-your-cognitive-distortions-202205042738. MD, P. G. (2022, May 4). How to recognize and tame your cognitive distortions. Harvard Health.
https://www.simplypsychology.org/self-verification-theory.html. Self-Verification Theory. (2022, November 3).
http://ebookcentral.proquest.com/lib/rowan/detail.action?docID=1023907. Van Lange, P. A. M., Kruglanski, A. W., & Higgins, E. T. (2011). Handbook of Theories of Social Psychology: Volume Two. SAGE Publications, Limited.
https://doi.org/10.1037/a0012881. Wood, J. V., Heimpel, S. A., Manwell, L. A., Link to external site, this link will open in a new tab, & Whittington, E. J. (2009). This mood is familiar and I don’t deserve to feel better anyway: Mechanisms underlying self-esteem differences in motivation to repair sad moods. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 96(2), 363–380.
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