Blow to the Head- green eggs and ham

Mentally Ill Homeless

P1.Many of the homeless living on the street suffer from severe mental illness caused by blows to the head. Giving these mentally ill homeless only housing will not solve the large homeless problem. These individuals need help for their illness on top of housing. Simply giving them housing will not solve the issue, and they will end back on the street. The United States Housing and Urban Development spends $550 million to aid the homeless. However the HUD dosen’t understand the problem, so they are wasting taxpayers money. Until the HUD understands the problem with the homeless, the problem will just expand, and the taxpayers money will just be wasted.

P2.  The problem, according to David Bornstein, is the government is misusing the funds. As he discusses in his articles, “Street Level Solutions” and “A Plan to Make Homelessness History”, Bornstein discusses the issues regarding homelessness today, and how to solve the issues.  The Housing of Urban Development does not understand the real problem with the homelessness. They are simply just giving the homeless housing, which isn’t the entire issue. Many are drug addicts or have mental issues and need other, additional help. They need treatment for their issues, and help to conquer them to fully conquer the whole issue. Without necessary treatment, sadly they are just ending back on the straight in a short period of time.

P3. The government needs to realize that these mentally ill homeless people need more than simply housing and a job. They need help to diagnose the issue, and treatment to treat the issues. If they are not giving treatment for their illness, they will eventually lose their given job and house given to them. Eventually they will end up right back on the street.However, the same mistake is being continually made. The, 100,000 Homes Campaign, as Bornstein describes as, “It’s the human welfare equivalent of NASA’s race to put a man on the moon.”(Bornstein 2) is trying to attempt to get the homeless off the street. However they, aren’t addressing the real issue. This is why homelessness is such a real issue. Giving them housing is just one step in the fight against homelessness.

P4. Bornstein did his own study correlating brain injury to  chronically homeless. He found that 53% of the of the chronically homeless have suffered a severe brain injury prior to becoming homeless. 70% of those mentally ill, had blows to the head prior to being homeless. They were normal people, with normal goals. However, they had blows to the head that lead them to the street life. This is why, just giving them house is no the solution. They had houses prior to the blow to the head, it’s their illness that led them to the street.Mental illness is a serious issue, and is not easily solvable.Not understanding this, is why the homelessness rate is increasing despite the significant funds.

P5.The American Journal of Psychiatry did a study in 2005, surveying 10,340 patients in a San Diego mental health hospital. They found that a large percent of the patients were in fact homeless. The study discovered   that 15% of the patients were homeless at one point or another. This is largely because they did not receive the care they needed to conquer their mental illness. Its also safe to assume, if the other 85% were not treated, a large number of them would have been homeless. The diseases ranged from, schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. These disease are often treatable but if not done so, have consequences, proven by homelessness.

P6. Progress has been made, however in the fight against homelessness. In New York, and now many other cities too, a new organization has been sprouting up. The Common Ground Organization has been tackling the homelessness issue with different measure, and having success. Common Ground doesn’t only give the homeless a home, but they get them treatment and give them tasks to keep them on the right track. They install a community atmosphere with community goals, such as gardens, cooking classes, and yoga sessions. It’s much more than simply a house, it’s giving them the help they need. Understanding this is why common ground is so successful, and is why they are  making such a great push in the fight against homelessness.

P7. There is plenty of money set aside in the government to help eradicate the homelessness problem. However, all the money in the world can’t solve the issue, if the problem is not fully understood. A mentally ill person can’t succeed in an environment they are not ready for, and is why many that are  put into section 8 housing end up right back on the street. People won’t succeed in the environments  they are adapted or ready for. They key to success is to separate the mentally ill homeless from the non mentally ill homeless, and trying to give them the tools to succeed.The mentally ill homeless need more help and aid then the non mentally ill homeless.They need different helping tools, but that is the point the government doesn’t seem to understand.

P8. Blows to the head that leads to mental illness can be devastating. After traumatic events like that, people don’t think straight and is why many of them end up on the streets. Its society’s job to help these people get the treatment they need. The government needs to shift from the idea  that homeless people need only housing and also give those who need additional help, that help. Once this is done, the fight against homelessness can take a major step forward, maybe even two steps.

                                                                 Works Cited

Am J Psychiatry 162:2, February 2005 , http://ajp.psychiatryonline.org

Bornstein, David. “A Plan to Make Homelessness History.” Nytimes.com. N.p., Dec. 20. 2010. Web. 29 Jan. 2017.

Bornstein, David. “The Street-Level Solution.” Nytimes.com. N.p., 24 Dec. 2010. Web. 29 Jan. 2017.

Source: U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development, The 2015 Annual Homeless Assessment Report (AHAR) to Congress, November 2015; U.S. Department of Education, “ED Data Express,” http://www.eddataexpress.ed.gov.

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11 Responses to Blow to the Head- green eggs and ham

  1. davidbdale says:

    The primary problem with your otherwise strong first paragraph, GreenEggs, is your comma usage. Almost every sentence needs a comma correction, and the reasons are various.

    In the first version, I’ll talk through the troubles. In the second version, I’ll re-punctuate as a model.

    —[This one’s fine.] In the President’s 2017 budget, about $550 million is given to homeless aid programs.

    —The movement, headed by the Housing and Urban Development committee [You need one here to balance the one before “headed.”] is to end family homelessness.

    —However [You need one here to prevent readers from reading: “However they want to provide housing,”] they just want to give the homeless housing [There’s always a comma before the relative pronoun “which,” and there’s never a comma before “that.”] which, [No comma after, only before.] is not the whole problem.

    —The government does not understand that, [Eliminate this comma to prevent readers from thinking you mean “the government does not understand that thing I just said.”] the problem stems deeper than simply not being able to afford housing.

    —Many of the homeless have severe mental illness from blows to the head, [No comma to separate compound verbs. In this case “the homeless have and need.”] and need treatment on top of housing.

    —To fully end homelessness, the government needs to shift toward [Help your comma do its job by FIRST saying what the government should shift TOWARD as your sentence promises.] not just giving housing, but giving different multiple kinds of aid.

    Commas Corrected:

    In the President’s 2017 budget, about $550 million is given to homeless aid programs. The movement, headed by the Housing and Urban Development committee, is to end family homelessness. However, they just want to give the homeless housing, which is not the whole problem. The government does not understand that the problem stems deeper than simply not being able to afford housing. Many of the homeless have severe mental illness from blows to the head and need treatment on top of housing. To fully end homelessness, the government needs to shift toward giving different multiple kinds of aid, not just giving housing.

    I’ve removed your post from the Feedback Please category, GreenEggs. Scour your work for other comma problems (and anything else you think needs correction) first; then put it back in the Feedback Please category if you want more Notes.

    Reply, please. I always appreciate interaction.

  2. greeneggsandham234 says:

    Classwork Complete

    • davidbdale says:

      GreenEggs, your revised introduction improves on your first version by a factor of holy shit!

      • greeneggsandham234 says:

        I agree, collaborations are essential.Thank you for the comments and encouragement, I definitely tried to use the tips from today for a better introduction.

    • davidbdale says:

      It’s still a shreddable scrap of scrap paper, like every draft, but that’s just the nature of writing, always disposable, eternally improvable.

      See how many of your sentences make the same claim:

      1. Many of the homeless living on the street suffer from severe mental illness caused by blows to the head.

      Head trauma causes homelessness.

      2. Giving these mentally ill homeless only housing will not solve the large homeless problem.

      Housing does not solve homelessness.

      3. These individuals need help for their illness on top of housing.

      Housing does not solve homelessness.

      4. Simply giving them housing will not solve the issue, and they will end back on the street.

      Housing does not solve homelessness.

      The United States Housing and Urban Development spends $550 million to aid the homeless.

      Current efforts are expensive.

      5 However the HUD dosen’t understand the problem, so they are wasting taxpayers money.

      Housing does not solve homelessness.

      6. Until the HUD understands the problem with the homeless, the problem will just expand, and the taxpayers money will just be wasted.

      Housing does not solve homelessness, which is wasteful.

      I stand by my assessment that this is holy shit better than the original, but, as you can see, it could still be improved by eliminating the repeated claim.

      Your reaction, please? I too appreciate feedback.

  3. greeneggsandham234 says:

    Thank you for the feedback. I will definitely try to fix the bad habit of repeating the same claim multiple times. I’ll work on the mistakes, and edit the essay.

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