Open Strong – nobinaryneeded

Instead of law makers or politicians, in order to fight Gerrymandering, this college professor is using geometry and mathematicians. The favorable parties of the electoral college is something to be concerned about in the grand scheme of things because this is what decides our future. It becomes unfair to the rest of the parties that the electoral college finds favor in one, which will most likely end up winning an election rather than the popular vote by the people voting. It’s almost as if there is not a point in voting considering the vote of the citizen does not matter anyway, because gerrymandering is coming in, but Moon Duchin is going to change that, with mathematics and geometry.

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One Response to Open Strong – nobinaryneeded

  1. davidbdale says:

    I’m sorry, NoBinary, I’m not buying much of this. I believe you care about getting it right, and I apologize for giving you so little time to do the job well, but I need to respond as helpfully as I can and give you a chance to feed back to me. First, I want to untangle your mysterious sentences into versions that might reflect your second drafts if I had given you the time.

    Instead of law makers or politicians, in order to fight Gerrymandering, this college professor is using geometry and mathematicians.

    To undo the damage done by lawmakers, one college professor is using geometry to fight gerrymandering.

    The favorable parties of the electoral college is something to be concerned about in the grand scheme of things because this is what decides our future.

    Whichever party commands the majority of the voting districts in our local elections decides our future.

    It becomes unfair to the rest of the parties that the electoral college finds favor in one, which will most likely end up winning an election rather than the popular vote by the people voting.

    That the candidate who loses the popular vote ends up winning the election is unfair and profoundly undemocratic.

    It’s almost as if there is not a point in voting considering the vote of the citizen does not matter anyway, because gerrymandering is coming in, but Moon Duchin is going to change that, with mathematics and geometry.

    There is no point voting in a rigged election, but Moon Duchin could change all that with geometry.

    That’s a radical rewrite, but one I hope you’ll consider, NoBinary. I’d like to think in future drafts you’ll weigh the value and meaning of every phrase and cut those that confuse or distract.

    Your replies are always welcome.
    I encourage you to revise for an upgrade.
    For now, 1/3

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