There is a huge problem in Vancouver with heroin addicts committing crimes to support their habits. The “free heroin for addicts” program is doing everything they can to stop the addicts. The problem is that there is a large crime rate due to the addicts. It is obvious that addicts have a hard time getting through their day to day lives. Daily activities such as jobs, interactions, and relationships are hard to maintain because of the fact that they are using. By heroin users being addicted, they will do whatever they have to do to get their hands on the drug. The types of crimes committed are those of breaking and entering as well as stealing. There are no limits to where they will go to retrieve this drug so that they can feed their addiction. The problem with this program is that it won’t help to ween these addicts off using heroin. It is only trying to save the city from rising crime rates that they’re up to. By providing the drug, these addicts will be off the streets, which in turn will prevent them from committing minor street crimes. This will also keep the heroin users out of the hospital. It is pointless that the hospitals have to deal with people that want to use bad drugs or unsanitary needles and find themselves being unable to afford hospital bills and hard to cope without the drug. This program gives people free heroin in the cleanest way possible. This will in turn fix the city but not the addiction that these people face.

1) There is a huge problem in Vancouver with heroin addicts committing crimes to support their habits.

The Problem: Trash language.

The Fix: Rewrite it to eliminate it.

Crimes committed by heroin addicts to support their addiction are a huge problem in Vancouver.

2) The “free heroin for addicts” program is doing everything they can to stop the addicts.

The Problem: It does not say what they are doing.

The Fix: Make it clear.

The “free heroin for addicts” program is giving out free heroin to addicts to stop them from committing crimes.

3) The problem is that there is a large crime rate due to the addicts.

The Problem: Unclear as to why addicts and the crime rate are related and trash language.

The Fix: Clarify this and eliminate trash language.

The large crime rate is due to the addicts committing crimes to support their addiction.

4) It is obvious that addicts have a hard time getting through their day to day lives.

The Problem: Trash language.

The Fix: Rewrite it to eliminate it.

Due to their addiction, addicts have a hard time getting through their day to day lives.

5) Daily activities such as jobs, interactions, and relationships are hard to maintain because of the fact that they are using.

The Problem: Not clear on what they are using, does not flow with previous sentence, and trash language.

The Fix: Make it clear, flow with previous sentence, and eliminate trash language.

The daily activities made hard to maintain through usage of heroin include jobs, interactions, and relationships.

6) By heroin users being addicted, they will do whatever they have to do to get their hands on the drug.

The Problem: Uses by at beginning of the sentence and has repetitive material.

The Fix: Rewrite it to eliminate by and make it less repetitive.

Heroin users will do whatever is necessary to get their hands on the drug to satisfy their addiction.

7) The types of crimes committed are those of breaking and entering as well as stealing.

The Problem: Needless language.

The Fix: Rewrite it to eliminate it.

Crimes committed consist of breaking and entering as well as stealing.

8) There are no limits to where they will go to retrieve this drug so that they can feed their addiction.

The Problem: Trash language, basically a repeat of sentence 6

The Fix: Remove it from paragraph.

N/A

9) The problem with this program is that it won’t help to ween these addicts off using heroin.

The Problem: Trash language.

The Fix: Rewrite it to eliminate it.

The program won’t help to ween these addicts off using heroin.

10) It is only trying to save the city from rising crime rates that they’re up to.

The Problem: Trash language.

The Fix: Rewrite it to eliminate it.

The program is only trying to save the city from rising crime rates.

11) By providing the drug, these addicts will be off the streets, which in turn will prevent them from committing minor street crimes.

The Problem: Uses by at beginning of the sentence and unclear antecedents.

The Fix: Rewrite it to eliminate by and make it clearer.

Addicts on the streets, as a result of being provided the drug, will be disinclined to committing minor street crimes.

12) This will also keep the heroin users out of the hospital.

The Problem: N/A

The Fix: N/A

This will also keep the heroin users out of the hospital.

13) It is pointless that the hospitals have to deal with people that want to use bad drugs or unsanitary needles and find themselves being unable to afford hospital bills and hard to cope without the drug.

The Problem: Trash language.

The Fix: Rewrite it to eliminate it.

Herion addicts want to use bad drugs or unsanitary needles and find themselves being unable to afford hospital bills and hard to cope without the drug.

14) This program gives people free heroin in the cleanest way possible.

The Problem: Unnecessary language.

The Fix: Remove it from sentence.

This program gives people free heroin.

15) This will in turn fix the city but not the addiction that these people face.

The Problem: Negative word.

The Fix: Reword sentence.

This will in turn fix the city but the addiction that these people face will remain.

Revised Paragraph: Rearranged sentences so it would make more sense.

Crimes committed by heroin addicts to support their addiction are a huge problem in Vancouver. The large crime rate is due to the addicts committing crimes to support their addiction. Crimes committed consist of breaking and entering as well as stealing. Due to their addiction, addicts have a hard time getting through their day to day lives. The daily activities made hard to maintain through usage of heroin include jobs, interactions, and relationships. Heroin users will do whatever is necessary to get their hands on the drug to satisfy their addiction. The “free heroin for addicts” program is giving out free heroin to addicts to stop them from committing crimes. The program won’t help to ween these addicts off using heroin. Addicts on the streets, as a result of being provided the drug, will be disinclined to committing minor street crimes. The program is only trying to save the city from rising crime rates. This will also keep the heroin users out of the hospital. Heroin addicts want to use bad drugs or unsanitary needles and find themselves being unable to afford hospital bills and hard to cope without the drug. This program gives people free heroin. This will in turn fix the city but the addiction that these people face will remain.