Original paragraph

There is a huge problem in Vancouver with heroin addicts committing crimes to support their habits. The “free heroin for addicts” program is doing everything they can to stop the addicts. The problem is that there is a large crime rate due to the addicts. It is obvious that addicts have a hard time getting through their day to day lives. Daily activities such as jobs, interactions, and relationships are hard to maintain because of the fact that they are using. By heroin users being addicted, they will do whatever they have to do to get their hands on the drug. The types of crimes committed are those of breaking and entering as well as stealing. There are no limits to where they will go to retrieve this drug so that they can feed their addiction. The problem with this program is that it won’t help to ween these addicts off using heroin. It is only trying to save the city from rising crime rates that they’re up to. By providing the drug, these addicts will be off the streets, which in turn will prevent them from committing minor street crimes. This will also keep the heroin users out of the hospital. It is pointless that the hospitals have to deal with people that want to use bad drugs or unsanitary needles and find themselves being unable to afford hospital bills and hard to cope without the drug. This program gives people free heroin in the cleanest way possible. This will in turn fix the city  but not the addiction that these people face.

Sentence by Sentence Revision

1. ) There is a huge problem in Vancouver with heroin addicts committing crimes to support their habits.

The Problem: The sentence begins weakly with “There is” and is vague about the specific connection between addiction and crime.

The Fix: Strengthen the subject and clarify the issue.

Heroin addiction in Vancouver fuels a rise in crime, as addicts commit offenses like theft and home invasions to sustain their habits.

2. ) The “free heroin for addicts” program is doing everything they can to stop the addicts.

The Problem: The phrase “doing everything they can” is vague and does not explain what the program aims to do or how it works.

The Fix: Specify the goal of the program and state it more directly.

The “free heroin for addicts” program aims to reduce crime and help manage the impact on the city.

3. ) The problem is that there is a large crime rate due to the addicts.

The Problem: The sentence is repetitive and starts with the weak “there is” construction. It also lacks specificity about the nature of the crime.

The Fix: Combine with the next sentence to provide a stronger, clearer claim about the impact of addiction on crime.

4. ) It is obvious that addicts have a hard time getting through their day-to-day lives.

The Problem: The phrase “It is obvious” weakens the statement and does not contribute meaningful information.

The Fix: Remove the unnecessary qualifier and make a clear statement about the difficulties addicts face.

However, addiction continues to drive a high crime rate, with addicts struggling to navigate daily responsibilities like jobs, relationships, and social interactions.

5. ) Daily activities such as jobs, interactions, and relationships are hard to maintain because of the fact that they are using.

The Problem: The sentence is wordy, particularly with the phrase “because of the fact that.”

The Fix: Also covered by the sentence above.

6. ) By heroin users being addicted, they will do whatever they have to do to get their hands on the drug.

The Problem: The sentence begins with “By verbing,” making it awkward and indirect.

The Fix: Reword for clarity, focusing on the actions of addicts.

Their dependence on heroin compels them to commit crimes, including breaking and entering and theft, to secure the drug.

7. ) The types of crimes committed are those of breaking and entering as well as stealing.

The Problem: This is wordy and redundant with the previous sentence.

The Fix: Included in sentence above as well.

8. ) There are no limits to where they will go to retrieve this drug so that they can feed their addiction.

The Problem: The “there are no limits” phrasing is vague, and “to retrieve this drug” is too general.

The Fix: Make the sentence more specific and direct.

These actions often disregard boundaries or consequences.

9. ) The problem with this program is that it won’t help to ween these addicts off using heroin.

The Problem: The sentence begins weakly with “The problem with this program,” and the misspelling of “ween” makes the phrasing unclear.

The Fix: Combine the information with other sentences and remove unnecessary details.

10. ) It is only trying to save the city from rising crime rates that they’re up to.

The Problem: The phrase “they’re up to” is informal and unclear, and the sentence doesn’t clearly explain the program’s aims.

The Fix: Replace vague language with a clearer explanation of the program’s objectives.

The program’s ineffectiveness shows that city safety takes importance over recovering the addicts. 

11. ) By providing the drug, these addicts will be off the streets, which in turn will prevent them from committing minor street crimes.

The Problem: This sentence is repetitive, and “By providing” weakens the construction.

The Fix: Combine with previous content to eliminate redundancy and create a more focused statement.

While the program seeks to reduce street crime and alleviate the strain on hospitals, it fails to address the root cause of addiction.

12. ) This will also keep the heroin users out of the hospital.

The Problem: The sentence lacks depth and fails to clarify how this will improve the situation.

The Fix: Combined with the sentence above.

13. ) It is pointless that the hospitals have to deal with people that want to use bad drugs or unsanitary needles and find themselves being unable to afford hospital bills and hard to cope without the drug.

The Problem: This sentence is long, redundant, and uses weak phrasing with “It is pointless.”

The Fix: Condense and rephrase for clarity, removing unnecessary qualifiers.

Hospitals are burdened by addicts who use dangerous drugs and unsanitary needles, often unable to afford the medical care they require.

14. ) This program gives people free heroin in the cleanest way possible.

The Problem: The sentence does not fully address the long-term effects of the program.

The Fix: Combine the idea with related content to explain the program’s harm-reduction goals while acknowledging its limitations.

The program provides clean heroin, mitigating immediate dangers but failing to address the root cause of addiction.

15. ) This will in turn fix the city but not the addiction that these people face.

The Problem: The sentence is vague, and “fix the city” is an overstatement.

The Fix: Reframe to clarify the program’s impact on crime while acknowledging its inability to resolve addiction.

While the program reduces crime and supports public health, it does not solve the problem of addiction.

The Revised Paragraph

Vancouver faces a significant problem with heroin addicts committing crimes to support their habits. The “free heroin for addicts” program aims to reduce these crimes and address the impact on the city. However, addiction continues to drive a high crime rate, with addicts struggling to navigate daily responsibilities like jobs, relationships, and social interactions. Their dependence on heroin compels them to commit crimes, including breaking and entering and theft, to secure the drug. These actions often disregard boundaries or consequences. While the program seeks to reduce street crime and alleviate the strain on hospitals, it fails to address the root cause of addiction. Hospitals are burdened by addicts who use dangerous drugs and unsanitary needles, often unable to afford the medical care they require. The program provides clean heroin, mitigating immediate dangers but failing to address the root cause of addiction. The program’s ineffectiveness shows that recovering the city takes priority over recovering the addicts.