Causal Rewrite – HurtNowitzki

Posted on December 15, 2023 by hurtnowitzki

Prime Attraction

Taking a closer look into Coach Prime’s time with The Jackson St. Tigers (2020-22) and The Colorado Buffs (current). Two collegiate football teams that have undergone successful changes in leadership and in turn established a winning culture. It’s apparent that not only building but maintaining a “winning culture” is a high priority in just about any level of athletics. Proper coaching is a big part of building this culture. 

NFL legend and current Head Coach of the Colorado Buffs Football Team, Deion Sanders seems to understand the formula to a science. Coach Deion Sanders throughout the past 4 years has displayed his understanding of building a winning culture with emphasis on recruiting. Deion Sanders to this date has now been head coach of both of the teams who before his arrival had little to no success in just about any area of football.

From one organization to the next, one steady element of Coach Prime’s success is his ability to attract and secure some of the highest-rated recruits. Coach Prime started his coaching career at the high school level before moving onto the collegiate level where he coached Jackson St. University, a NCAA Division I Football Championship Subdivision team. Before Coach Prime’s arrival, the team had finished their previous season with a record of 5-5 and the year prior a record of 8-12.

Now those numbers aren’t necessarily abysmal however in comparison to the seasons Coach Prime was able to produce with the program he built compared to the seasons before his arrival it may begin to provide a better understanding of what his impact amounted to.  Later in the aforementioned passage from Jackson St. Football the team states:

In Fall 2021, Sanders led Jackson State back to championship glory with a school-record 11-win season and the first Southwestern Athletic Conference football championship since 2007. JSU went undefeated in conference play (8-0) and won nine consecutive games to complete the regular season en route to the SWAC Championship and the program’s first-ever berth in the Celebration Bowl.

Coach Prime’s impact was displayed on and off the field. So much so that, even just as much as the fact that his name was attached to a subdivision DI college football team their viewership per game drastically improved. The Jackson State Football Team also states:

With viewership for the first two games surpassing more than 200,000 online views on ESPN3, the power of Coach Prime and JSU transformed the network and led to the final four contested games of the spring season televised on linear television on ESPN or ESPN2 as JSU posted a 4-3 record.

Another article, this time by Micheal McCarthy of the Front Office Sports page side notes “Colorado vs. CSU grudge match draws ESPN’s biggest late prime-time audience.” These numbers wouldn’t come anywhere near as high without the involvement of Coach Prime.

Coach Prime’s reputation which dates back to his legendary football career to as a far as a sports analyst is a heavy benefit for overlooked teams when his name is attached to them. This increased viewership and the team’s success eventually leads to more players wanting to play under Coach Prime and also setting up his players with more exposure to get them to the next level.

Due to his quick success and ability to change the culture of the program of The Jackson St. Football from an “underground” level program to a now more exposed, winning, and respected program Coach Prime was presented with many awards. Some of these include “SWAC Coach of the Year” and “Black College Hall of Fame Coach Of the Year in 2021” amongst many other awards he received during his time with the program. Coach Prime’s achievements within his short tenure with the team was heavily admired by the sports world. Coach Primes’ understanding of flipping the culture of an organization was in full effect and he and his team were feeding the world with as much evidence as they could bear.

After 3 years with Jackson St. Coach Prime decided to take his skillset to the next level of collegiate football. Sanders was hired at The University of Colorado which at the time raised many eyebrows and even infuriated some. The world’s initial reaction consisted of questions such as “If he intended to provide HBCU football programs with more exposure why would he leave?” and “Why would he choose Colorado, they have been one of the worst teams in college football for years.” Coach Prime’s decision to take the role at The University of Colorado truly took the world by storm.

Similar questions and viewpoints swirled through the media for some time. However, as the season came closer to beginning fans and media critics quickly shifted attention from “What he could’ve done if he did stay at Jackson St.” to “What will he do now that he’s at Colorado?”

With his move to Boulder, CO Coach Prime brought some more luggage other than his belongings. Prime also recruited his two sons who played for him at Jackson St. and got them to play for him at Colorado. Along with his children, Prime convinced athlete Travis Hunter to follow and play for him at Colorado, which can be seen as a sign of trust and loyalty between Prime and his most notable signing. Amongst those three, Coach Prime also signed high-rated recruits going into the 2023 season. According to an article posted to Bleacher Report by author Timothy App: 

Colorado is getting a major boost in the secondary with Hunter and McClain. But the Buffaloes are also getting a bunch of skill-position talent, including 4-star running back Dylan Edwards and 4-star wideouts Adam Hopkins and Omarion Miller. After that trio, Colorado will have 24 incoming 3-star freshmen. Colorado’s transfer class also ranks No. 5 in the nation, led by Hunter’s defection from Jackson State. The Buffaloes are also getting Sanders’ son, 4-star quarterback Shedeur Sanders, and four other 4-star transfers: linebacker Demouy Kennedy, interior offensive lineman Yousef Mugharbil, tight end Seydou Traore and wideout Jimmy Horn Jr.

The ability to consistently attract and secure top rated recruits remains the main ingredient of Coach Prime’s recipe to establish a winning culture within his team. Prime’s evaluation of talent has once again pushed his legacy to new heights.

References

Jackson State University. (n.d.). https://gojsutigers.com/sports/football/roster/coaches/deion-sanders/219 

Rapp, T. (2023, February 1). Examining Deion Sanders’ 2023 recruiting class in 1st year as Colorado HC. Bleacher Report. https://bleacherreport.com/articles/10063834-examining-deion-sanders-2023-recruiting-class-in-1st-year-as-colorado-hc 

Posted in Causal Rewrite | 1 Comment

Claims – laflame

Posted on December 14, 2023 by laflame

By this point, you might be wondering, and possibly feeling guilty about wondering, why Brannan doesn’t just get divorced. And she would tell you openly that she’s thought about it. “Everyone has thought about it,” she says. And a lot of Kateri’s eight-year-old son now counts the exits in new spaces he enters, and points them out to his loved ones until war or fire fails to break out, and everyone is safely back home. 

Illustrative Claim: The passage utilizes illustrative claims to describe the son counting exits and the thoughts Brannan has about getting divorced. These descriptions aim to evoke sympathy and provide a vivid picture of the situation.

In the wake of Vietnam, 38 percent of marriages failed within the first six months of a veteran’s return stateside; the divorce rate was twice as high for vets with PTSD as for those without. Vietnam vets with severe PTSD are 69 percent more likely to have their marriages fail than other vets. Army records also show that 65 percent of active-duty suicides, which now outpace combat deaths, are precipitated by broken relationships. And veterans, well, one of them dies by suicide every 80 minutes. But even ignoring that though vets make up 7 percent of the United States, they account for 20 percent of its suicides —or that children and teenagers of a parent who’s committed suicide are three times more likely to kill themselves, too—or a whole bunch of equally grim statistics, Brannan’s got her reasons for sticking it out with Caleb.

Quantitative or Numerical Claim: The passage includes quantitative or numerical claims in various statistics, such as divorce rates, suicide rates, and the percentage of veterans in the United States.

“I love him,” she says.

Ethical or Moral Claim: The statement “I love him” reflects an ethical claim based on emotional and moral considerations.

Brannan fully supports any wife—who feels that she or her children are in danger, or in an untenable mental-health environment, or for whatever reason—who decides to leave. She’s here, through Family of a Vet, to help those people. But she’s also there for those FOV users who, like her, have decided to stay. “I have enormous respect for Caleb,” she explains if you ask her why. “He has never stopped fighting for this family. Now, we’ve had little breaks from therapy, but he never stopped going to therapy. I love him,” she repeats, defensively at times.

Credibility Claim: While not explicitly stated, there’s an implicit credibility claim in Brannan’s endorsement of her husband’s commitment to therapy. Her respect for Caleb serves as a form of credibility in supporting her decision to stay.

He is her friend, and her first love, and her rock, and her lifeline, her blossoming young daughter’s father, her ally, and her hero, she tells Caleb when he asks. Because the person who most often asks Brannan why she stays with her husband is her husband.

Evaluative Claim: The passage includes evaluative claims in the descriptions of Caleb’s roles in Brannan’s life, such as being a friend, first love, rock, lifeline, father, ally, and hero. These are subjective judgments about Caleb’s significance to Brannan.

Posted in PTSD Claims | 2 Comments

Reflective – laflame

Posted on December 14, 2023 by laflame

Core Value 1. My work demonstrates that I used a variety of social and interactive practices that involve recursive stages of exploration, discovery, conceptualization, and development.

Throughout the various phases of crafting my Proposal+5 supporting sources, I extensively delved into scholarly databases such as Google Scholar. I sifted through numerous sources to pinpoint those that most effectively bolstered my argument. The process of exploration, discovery, conceptualization, and development was ongoing. I was driven by my determination to thoroughly assess each source for its relevance to my paper. With the guidance of Professor Hodges, I successfully identified 5 sources that significantly enhanced the quality of my proposed counterintuitive claim. These sources played a crucial role in constructing my research paper that not only presents compelling evidence but also forms a robust argument highlighting my claims in my research paper.

Core Value 2. My work demonstrates that I read critically, and that I placed texts into conversation with one another to create meaning by synthesizing ideas from various discourse communities. 

When tackling the Purposeful-Summaries, I delved into the texts we were assigned. I took the time to understand what the authors were saying and picked out the key things they wanted to get across. The task was all about following the conversation in the text and figuring out which claims and ideas were crucial for a well-written summary. In the process, I read with a critical eye, making sure I caught all the different points the author was making. Then came the part where I had to put it all together. I had to combine all those claims and ideas, weaving them into a summary that covered the main highlights of the text. It was about pulling together the important bits and presenting a clear picture of what the author was trying to communicate.

Core Value 3. My work demonstrates that I rhetorically analyzed the purpose, audience, and contexts of my own writing and other texts and visual arguments.

In the Visual Rewrite assignment, I didn’t just look at the purpose, audience, and context of the 30-second video; I also took a close look at my own writing. The key part of this task was concentrating on the rhetoric and purpose of what I wrote and how it shapes the audience’s grasp of the video described in the work. I made sure my writing was clear and detailed, enabling a full understanding of the visual argument even without watching the video. By providing detailed descriptions, I managed to communicate the video’s purpose to the reader, even if they hadn’t seen the video themselves.

Core Value 4: My work demonstrates that I have met the expectations of academic writing by locating, evaluating, and incorporating illustrations and evidence to support my own ideas and interpretations.

During the Rebuttal Rewrite, I went beyond just presenting studies that supported the opposing viewpoint to my claim. I aimed to give the readers a well-rounded understanding of the argument by incorporating evidence from different angles. However, the real game-changer was identifying and leveraging studies that not only showcased the counter-argument but also bolstered my own perspective. This strategic use of supportive evidence aimed to persuade the readers, offering them compelling reasons to buy into my claim. The process involved a thorough exploration of databases and journals, where I carefully located and evaluated relevant sources. By delving into these resources, I aimed to ensure the credibility and strength of the evidence presented in the rebuttal. This comprehensive approach allowed me to not only acknowledge the opposing viewpoint but to strategically reinforce my stance, making a more convincing case for the readers.

Core Value 5. My work demonstrates that I respect my ethical responsibility to represent complex ideas fairly and to the sources of my information with appropriate citation. 

Within my Research Paper, I took care to integrate a variety of sources, and I diligently provided citations for each. Upholding my ethical responsibility to the authors, I made sure to represent and convey intricate ideas throughout the paper, always attributing them to their original sources. The culmination of this effort is reflected in the accurate references section at the end of the paper, ensuring a proper citation match with the sources that contributed to the content. It’s a deliberate practice for me to prioritize this ethical responsibility to authors, and I consistently implement it by including appropriate citations every time I produce a piece of writing. This not only adds credibility to my work but also demonstrates a commitment to acknowledging the contributions of others in the academic discourse.

Posted in Reflective | 1 Comment

Reflective-Jreggie20

Posted on December 14, 2023 by jreggie20

Core Value 1. My work demonstrates that I used a variety of social and interactive practices that involve recursive stages of exploration, discovery, conceptualization, and development.

My work demonstrates that I used a variety of social and interactive practices that involve exploration and discovery. Over the semester we’ve worked on many projects and workshops that exercised our writing abilities. We had many discussions on various topics that allowed us to think critically on what the topic means and how we could use it in our writing or in life. I enjoyed the different discussions in the class because it made me think outside the box. With everything being applied in this semester I say I reached my goal of becoming a better writer. One example of my progression is my definition argument. It allowed me to truly dive into the topic of exercising and how it is beneficial to one’s health. With writing a thesis, it helped me declare my claim that exercising is good for you and with writing the definition of exercising, it helped me understand more what it means.

https://rowancomp2.com/2023/10/23/definition-jreggie20

Core Value 2. My work demonstrates that I read critically, and that I placed texts into conversation with one another to create meaning by synthesizing ideas from various discourse communities. 

My work demonstrates that I’ve read critically throughout the semester because I’ve placed texts into conversation with one another to create meaning of what I am trying to display and have the reader know what it means. With researching sources online, I’ve read, understood and implemented whichever part of the source into my writing. It is very important that I blend in my writing with the source and also give credit to the author because without them both being synchronized with each other, the writing will have no meaning. The sources supported my writing even more by backing up any claim that I had. One example that demonstrates this is my Casual Argument. My Causal Argument explains that aerobic exercise is a branch of exercising that has the most benefits.

Casual Argument – jreggie

Core Value 3. My work demonstrates that I rhetorically analyzed the purpose, audience, and contexts of my own writing and other texts and visual arguments.

During my time throughout the course, my work demonstrates that I rhetorically analyzed the purpose, audience, and context of my own writing and other text. By analyzing all of the factors in my writing and others, I fully connect with myself, other writing and the audience. It’s very important to me because it helps me fully understand what I am trying to prove. I compare my writing to others so I can see my flaws and what areas I can improve my writing. To connect with the audience, I believe that giving the reader what they want but also throwing in your own twist to keep them on the edge of their seat. One writing of mine that demonstrates this is my Rebuttal Argument. It shows that aerobic exercise is good for you yes but also can cause injury if done the incorrect way.

Rebuttal Draft -Jreggie

Core Value 4: My work demonstrates that I have met the expectations of academic writing by locating, evaluating, and incorporating illustrations and evidence to support my own ideas and interpretations.

My work demonstrates that I have met the expectations of academic writing. With thinking critically and researching sources, I’ve improved my skills on locating, evaluating, and incorporating illustrations and evidence to support my own ideas and interpretations. I feel as though locating and evaluating different sources is a major skill requirement because if done incorrectly could actually damage the support for your own ideas. With that being said incorporating illustrations and evidence will become more difficult whereas it may have the possibility to contradict what you are trying to prove. One writing of mine that is a great example is my research paper. I had to carefully evaluated my sources to put it in my own writing.

Research – jreggie20

Core Value 5. My work demonstrates that I respect my ethical responsibility to represent complex ideas fairly and to the sources of my information with appropriate citation. 

Throughout the semester, I’ve learned to respect my ethical responsibility to represent complex ideas fairly. With researching other authors ideas, I’ve gained respect for them because they truly put in time and effort into whatever they are writing about as I am trying to do also. It’s important that a writer who is using another source from an author to give proper citation because if not it is considered plagiarizing. Also, it is respectable to give proper citation because it originated from the authors own ideas. No one wants their work used or stolen without credit. An example of my work that is using proper citation is my Research paper again, it has various authors with citations to their work.

Research – jreggie20
Posted in Reflective | Leave a comment

Visual Rewrite – laflame

Posted on December 14, 2023 by laflame

0:00–0:01

At the start of the commercial, there’s a family – a mom, a dad, and two kids. The dad, maybe in his forties, is carrying a stroller and a bag of toys on one side, and on the other, he’s got a bagel and a cup. The mom, a bit younger, flips her hair and has a bag with more toys, and maybe a scarf. She’s got her hands full with the youngest, a little boy, plus a backpack and a juice box. The older kid, a girl, is happily walking with them. Their house is in the background, kinda like a ranch with a white brick door.

0:02-0:05

Then, the mom flips her hair again, and they start walking away with all their stuff. The dad’s talking, looking at his wife and daughter. The camera zooms in on the mom, who’s got a confident smile. It’s like they’re going on a little adventure.

0:05-0:09

Suddenly, a turning point occurs as the daughter grabs a toy, setting off a chain reaction. The stroller slips off the father’s shoulder, and the mother’s demeanor shifts from poised to frustrated. The father grapples with the stroller, and the mother, holding the little one, appears fatigued. This comical scene, a relatable snapshot of family life, marks the transition from harmony to a moment of chaos.

0:09-0:14

The scene evolves as the father drops bags, the daughter persists in her quest for the toy, and the stressed mother engages in a non-verbal exchange with her. A close-up captures the father biting into a bagel, attempting to manage the unfolding situation. Meanwhile, the mother, looking stressed, strides ahead, introducing an element of tension.

0:15-0:22

The father struggles to walk, dropping bags, while the daughter continues tugging at the toy. The mother walks ahead, visibly stressed. The family arrives at their car, and the daughter casually drops her belongings. The mother places her drink on the car, and the parents proceed to buckle the children into their seats. A close-up frames the daughter’s seatbelt being secured, emphasizing a brief moment of stability in the midst of chaos.

0:22-0:26

Unexpectedly, the daughter erupts into a popcorn-throwing frenzy, surprising and frustrating the father. Meanwhile, the mother effortlessly secures the son. This sudden twist adds a layer of humor to the unfolding narrative.

0:26-0:30

The scene transitions to a blue screen featuring four small images: an infant car seat, a toddler car seat, an adult car seat with a visible seatbelt, and a standalone seatbelt. This serves as a visual segue, likely intended to initiate a conversation about the importance of car seats and seat belt usage.

Visual Rhetoric:

The director’s deliberate choice in showcasing scenes that underscore the inherent messiness of parenting serves to emphasize the elusive nature of achieving perfection in the challenging realm of parenthood. Despite meticulous parental preparation, the inevitability of challenges is vividly portrayed, particularly in moments where apparent confidence gives way to chaos, such as the disruption caused by the daughter to the father’s composure. The overarching message is resoundingly clear: as long as parents are committed to doing their utmost to ensure the safety of their children, the trials encountered along the way are ultimately manageable. This central theme finds poignant expression through the thematic emphasis on the critical aspects of seatbelt usage and overall car safety. In terms of logos, the ad subtly implies a familial preparation for an upcoming journey, evident in the diverse array of belongings being systematically transported towards their vehicle. On the pathos front, the scenes depicting parents grappling with the complexities of managing their children and possessions evoke a nuanced emotional response, combining elements of sympathy and humor. This emotional resonance is heightened by the relatability of these commonplace struggles. Ethos is effectively established through the Ad Council’s production, aligned with the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, a government agency. The ad’s credibility is further solidified by prominently featuring the link to the government agency at the conclusion, thereby enhancing the perception of trustworthiness and reliability among the viewing audience.

YouTube. (2021, September 20). Child car safety | I come correct :30. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eOfYNJNh1I8

Posted in Visual Rewrite | 1 Comment

Rebuttal Rewrite – HurtNowitzki

Posted on December 13, 2023 by hurtnowitzki

Coach Prime or “Primetime” Deion Sanders?… Same Thing.

Many critics have Coach Prime’s recruiting and roster management techniques under significant ridicule due to his harsh delivery and what some perceive as a diva attitude. However, I’d like to point out that those same attributes many are against and criticizing may not be as bizarre as the world sees them and in fact may be what attracts the likes of high-level or star recruits in the first place.

As the season concluded Coach Prime’s Colorado Buffs finished with an overall record of 4-8. Now that isn’t the greatest show out for a team that had the anticipation of Colorado before the season due to their acquisition of Coach Prime. However, it is still an improvement compared to their overall record from the previous year, where they finished 1-11 under head coach Karl Dorrell. Due to this improvement in their win-loss record, it would be a sign of ignorance to declare that Coach Prime hasn’t proved himself worthy of the position and also displayed his knowledge of the game itself.

Ari Wasserman, a senior writer for The Athletic published an article titled “Deion Sanders’ poor recruiting results major issue for Colorado’s build.” In this article, Wasserman makes a claim in regards to Coach Prime’s blunt honesty with his players and their value within the team,  “That’s treating players like commodities, and it’s a tough sell for future recruiting efforts, both in the high school ranks and in the portal.” Even though there may be some truth to this statement, it seems Wasserman may have a small amount of bias when it comes to Coach Prime and his team.

“Treating players like commodities.” In this statement, Wasserman neglects to acknowledge the amount of pressure Coach Prime is enduring as the world waits for him to turn yet another struggling program into a more feared and winning one. As stated earlier in my writing it only took Coach Prime roughly a year to turn Jackson St. into a winning football program. To do this, Coach Prime bolstered his roster with many high-rated recruits and as the season began, based on his judgment of their performance put better players in starting positions.

 Now, on a nationally televised Division I level the world awaits Coach Prime’s triumph yet again. It is ridiculous to think that he would take his foot off the pedal, viewers must realize that Coach Prime’s main focus is to build his team and put them in the best position for them to succeed. This means that if he feels as though the players on his roster aren’t meeting expectations he has the right to sit them or even suggest a transfer to another program with a system they may fit better in.

In the article, Wasserman also brings into question the physical aspects of Prime’s recruiting. Wasserman states “Then it got me thinking: When was the last time you saw a picture of Sanders at a high school? Or doing an in-home visit?” As we read we find that during the recruitment of arguably Coach Prime’s best signing in his coaching career Travis Hunter who played for him at both Jackson State and now Colorado did not include Prime visiting the High School for which Hunter played. Instead, this 5-star player’s recruitment consisted of something as minimal as a Facetime call.

When diving into Coach Prime’s recruiting techniques it’s evident that his reputation plays a huge factor in that not too many think of when commenting on the efficiency of his recruiting itself. 

Wasserman claims “You may call that powerful recruiting, and it is. But that isn’t going to cut it when you’re trying to build a Power 5 program.”  The issue with this statement is that if Coach Prime was able to attract and sign who was said to be the nation’s highest ranking recruit in the class of 2022 among other notable recruits to low exposure and struggling program via a series of video calls and have success with the program. How could we possibly dismiss the idea of him having the same impact going into this next year after Colorado showed an improvement compared to previous seasons under other leadership?

Later in the article, Wasserman makes the claim “Eventually, though, Sanders is going to have to stop being a celebrity and start being a Power 5 football coach.” This statement stood out more than anything else mentioned previously in the article. For this statement, I want to divert our attention to Deion Sanders’ legacy before coaching. Deion Sanders was a Hall of Fame, multi-sport, multi-positional athlete whose impact as well as success earned him the nickname “PrimeTime.”

As stated previously Deion Sanders’ legacy as an athlete is what makes him the iconic coach everybody has their eyes on as he entered his stint with The Buffs.

Due to Deion’s success as an athlete under his leadership, his players gain more exposure for playing under his leadership and even are presented with the opportunity of meeting and possibly making connections with some of the world’s most popular celebrities. This interaction is described in “What it’s like to be recruited by Deion Sanders” an ESPN article by Staff Writer, Tom Vanhaaren. Vanhaaren recalls Colorado’s game against Colorado in early October. 

When Adrian Walker scheduled his unofficial visit to Colorado for the Week 3 game against Colorado State, he had no idea he’d be there with Lil Wayne, Master P, Offset, and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. But that’s exactly where Walker and the other recruits on campus found themselves, in what is now the new norm with Deion Sanders and the Colorado Buffaloes. It’s not just locker room tours and meetings with coaches, recruits are seeing a whole different pitch from Sanders and his staff.

In a YouTube segment titled “Deion Sanders is pulling off something INCREDIBLE right now in Colorado” Sports Analyst and TV Personality Stephen A. Smith mentions a statement made from The Buffs’ in-state school rival’s Head Coach Jay Norvell, who just as many others attempted to shame Coach Prime for his alleged diva antics ahead of their week 3 game. This time in in regards to Coach Prime’s hat and signature sunglasses he wears in interviews and press conferences. Coach Jay Norvell states, “When I talk to grown-ups I take my hat and my glasses off.”

In light of this statement from Norvell, Coach Prime retaliated by insisting his team, staff members, and fans show up to the game in their hats and sunglasses to display the irrelevancy of Coach Norvell’s statement. Coach Prime’s Buffs went on to win the game, posting record breaking viewership numbers for ESPN. Later in the video, Stephen A. commemorates Coach Prime’s ability to shift the culture and face of college football.

As a leader, as a recruiter, as a leader of men, as a football mind, as a talent evaluator, the opportunities that he’s opened up for coaches and players from “HBCU’s”. That’s Historically Black Colleges and Universities… is pivotal. It’s big because seeing what he sees, there’s only one, he’s one of one there’s only one “Primetime” Deion Sanders. But because of the talent that he’s brought with him, everybody knows that he isn’t succeeding by himself. He doesn’t fail to give his players credit, he doesn’t fail to give his coaching staff credit and if you’re getting them from HBCU’s and they’re succeeding it’s going to put ample pressure on College programs and NFL franchises to recognize what HBCU’s may indeed have to offer. That is culture changing, that is what Deion Sanders has pulled off . Every college football program gonna ask now “where’s my Deion Sanders?”

Despite what opposers may believe, Coach Prime and all he brings to the table benefit not only the teams he’s coached but also game of College Football as a whole. His achievements are nothing short of remarkable.

References

Wasserman, A. (2023, November 29). Wasserman: Deion Sanders’ poor recruiting results major issue for Colorado’s build. The Athletic. https://theathletic.com/5094370/2023/11/28/deion-sanders-colorado-recruiting-decommitment/# 

VanHaaren, T. (2023, October 4). What it’s like to be recruited by Deion Sanders. ESPN. https://www.espn.com/college-football/story/_/id/38555810/how-deion-sanders-recruits 

Posted in Rebuttal Rewrite | 2 Comments

3000 Word essay-777sunflower777

Posted on December 13, 2023 by 777sunflower777

Is God Real, or Just a word?

This essay is designed to explore the mystery of God. Whether you’re a Christian or not I think it will be an enjoyable read but, I feel as if this may be aimed more towards anyone who already believes in God. So, if you are that person, keep reading! If not, it’s okay, I wont be mad at you. A lot of people see God as a mystery, a word we use to explain everything we cannot explain, but is that true? Is he more than just a word? I believe he is but I want to dive deeper into the thought that people think he is just a word. 

I know to a lot of people God is just a thought. But to me he is everything. I truly believe that God created everything this world has to offer. And I know it’s hard to believe for a lot of people. It’s hard to think that someone we have never seen has the superhuman ability to create a whole universe. And that leads to why people don’t believe that he is real. It’s like believing in teleportation or invisibility. But the difference is, God is almost like that invisible character. He is omnipresent which means he is everywhere at all times. To start this essay, I will first need to introduce our two “main characters.” Jesus and God. It’s easy to remember, Jesus is God’s son. God gave a virgin, Mary, a child and he was to be named Jesus. God sent Jesus to save every last human to ever be on Earth from any sin we may encounter whether you believe in him or not. I don’t want this to seem like I’m “preaching” to you or pushing something onto you so I’m throwing out a warning: I will be referencing bible verses and such so if you want to stop reading go right on ahead, and if not I thank you for taking the time out to listen to all the things that go on inside this (crazy) brain of mine. There’s a couple main issues or topics that I would like to discuss to prove my whole point. These topics include, the drying up of the Euphrates river, false prophets, the war in Israel, the mark of the beast, and the four fallen angels. These will all be proof, to the best of my ability, that God is real. I will be sourcing the Bible, as it was written before any of these events have taken place, along with some other references to prove that these are in fact currently taking place. I will be using the King James Version as my source. 

To begin, the drying up of the Euphrates river. This one kind of coincides with a fallen angel as well. In Revelation 16:12 it states, “And the sixth angel poured out his vial upon the great river Euphrates; and the water thereof was dried up, that the way of the kings of the east might be prepared.” The Euphrates river provides Israel with protection, as it is difficult to cross. What Jesus is saying here is that the river WILL be dried up. This also goes along with another verse. John 3:16 states, “Saying to the sixth angel which had the trumpet, release the four angels which are bound in the great river Euphrates.” According to The Center for Strategic and International Studies, the Iraqi Ministry of Water Resources warns that “the river could be dry by 2040” (CSIS 2023). It seems like a long ways away but 2040 is only 16 years away. That’s not a longtime at all. Now to get to the John 3:16 verse. I need to first introduce who the four fallen angels are. Michael, Gabriel, Raphael, and Uriel are four of the fallen angels, Satan is also considered one. Fallen angels were originally good angels who turned against God. God bound these angels under the Euphrates river. And this next piece of evidence is hard to believe. And if you don’t believe it, that’s okay with me because its a weird one. In the low parts of the Euphrates, the part that has dried up the most recently, under the Euphrates, caves were found. They were said to appear very scary, and if you’ve seen the picture they are, and they almost resemble jail cells (TACTW 2023). The craziest part of this is that there are four of them. Now think about it, four cave/jails, four fallen angels…like I said it’s crazy but it is a piece of evidence. Jesus said that the river will be parted for the kings to make their way. These fallen angels will assemble all of the kings in the world to battle against God at a set location. So like I said, all of this is crazy to think about, like it’s a made up story, and to some people it is, but to those who believe, this is happening right now and we know we probably don’t have a ton of time left. 

Next, I would like to discuss the false prophets. A false prophet is someone who spreads fake messages while claiming to speak the word of God or claiming to be God. In the book of Matthew 7:15 Jesus says, “Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.” He also says in Matthew 24:24, “For false messiahs and false prophets will appear and perform great signs and wonders to deceive, if possible, even elect.” I found an article from 2021, that talks about 8 men around the world who claimed to be Jesus. These people include Inri Crsto from Brazil, Alan John Miller from Australia, Apollo Quiboloy from the Philippines, Vissarion from Siberia, Oscar Ramiro Ortega Hernandez from the United States, Bupete Chibew Chishimba from Zambia, Wayne Bent from New Mexico, and Ann Sahng-Hong from South Korea. These are only a couple examples, there are many many more people around the world claiming to be Jesus. These men run around claiming that they are Jesus and that God talked to them telling them they are Jesus and things like that. Some of these men have even got kicked out of their country’s. And most of them are cult leaders. While writing the Bible and living through it, Jesus wanted everyone to know that there is only One God and only one Jesus Christ Other religions may think differently and have their “Gods” but God, the father of Jesus, is the only one to give us eternal life in Heaven with him. I don’t care what religion you believe in because we all think that our God is superior. And like I said, you and I may believe in different Gods and that is totally okay. As long as we all get along with each other we can believe in anything we want to believe in. 

I now want to talk about the war in Israel. The Bible says that in the end times, Israel will scatter and regather. After the Holocaust, no one thought that Jewish people would ever regain their homeland and lives but on May 14, 1948, Israel became a nation. In Ezekiel 37-38 it speaks about the regathering of Israel and how it would be attacked by a large force from the north called Magog. Russia is to the north of Israel. But why would Russia ever want to invade Israel? If Russia is Magog, then they will want to fight with one of their allies which is Persia. Persia is the old name for Iran. This shows that the Bible predicted the war in Israel right now. The craziest part though, is that not once has Russia and Persia formed a bond, but recently Russia signed a billion dollar deal to sell missiles to Iran (TIP 2023). Although this may be a huge coincidence, I believe all the prophecies in the Bible are now coming to fruition. They are all unfolding before our eyes.

And last but certainly not least, I would like to talk about the mark of the beast. In Revelation 13:15-18 Jesus claims, “And it was allowed to give breath to the image of the beast, so that the image of the beast might even speak and might cause those who would not worship the image of the beast to be slain. Also it causes all, both small and great, both rich and poor, both free and slave, to be marked on the right hand or the forehead, so that no one can buy or sell unless he has the mark, that is, the name of the beast or the number of its name. This calls for wisdom: let the one who has understanding calculate the number of the beast, for it is the number of a man, and his number is 666.” The “beast” that Jesus is referring to is Satan or the devil. New technologies have been released allowing people to be able to pay with their phones. But after that, just recently, people have been able to pay with a chip in their hands. People are also now able to unlock their cars with their hands. Now I know those verses say that the mark will have either his name or number (666) on our hand or forehead but, this is one step closer to that I feel like. The verse says that no one will be able to buy or sell unless he has the mark. How long until paying for an item at the grocery store can only be done by using a chip in your hand? How long until we are not able to sell things to people unless they have the chip? I don’t think it will be long until all of this happens. Especially with the continual advance of technology. 

I would now like to discuss my claim. I truly do not believe that God is a word we use to describe the things we cannot explain. I have given examples of things that he has prophesied and fulfilled so now we need to discuss him. If God created Jesus, and Jesus was who the Bible was written about, don’t you think God knew everything that was going to happen. For example, if you’re talking about the wars in Israel, instead of saying “Oh my God,” you could change that to “God help us.” “Oh my God” makes it sound like you’re mad at him or like you don’t know what’s going on or don’t know what else to say. But if you ask him to help, it shows that you know he is doing what he promised to do, but we need his guidance in the process. We can see through these examples I have explained and by way more that are in the Bible I did not talk about, that God created the whole world and he knew everything that was going to happen way before it actually happened. He put his plans in place and one day will come back to take all of his followers home. 

So like I said in the beginning of this. This read was more aimed towards people that believe in God already, but if you stuck through and don’t believe in him, I hope I gave you a glimpse of what I and many others see. We see a figure that we can look up to when times are rough, we see someone we can talk to when we feel as if no one else is listening, we see someone who can help us through the hardest times of our lives if we just stop and listen to him, talk to him, and read about him. Everything we ever need to know is in the Bible. Life may be hard and for us believers that doesn’t change. What does change though, is we still have our faith to lean back to no matter what. So no, God is NOT just some word. However, he is the way, the truth, and the life. (John 14:6)

References:

Access your bible from anywhere. BibleGateway.com: A searchable online Bible in over 150 versions and 50 languages. (n.d.). https://www.biblegateway.com/

Esh. (2021, December 6). 8 men around the world who claimed to be jesus. Medium. https://medium.com/the-collector/8-men-around-the-world-who-claimed-to-be-jesus-5f749521c444

Iran & russia: Burgeoning military ties. The Iran Primer. (2023, September 5). https://iranprimer.usip.org/blog/2023/may/18/iran-russia-burgeoning-military-ties

K, K. (2023, June 1). The Euphrates River dried up and this mysterious cave appeared. The Archaeologist. https://www.thearchaeologist.org/blog/the-euphrates-river-dried-up-and-this-mysterious-cave-appeared

The future of the Euphrates River. The Future of the Euphrates River. (2023, February 27). https://features.csis.org/the-future-of-the-Euphrates-River/#:~:text=The%20Euphrates%20River%20is%20at,could%20be%20dry%20by%202040.

Posted in Research Position Paper | 1 Comment

Definiton Rewrite – HurtNowitzki

Posted on December 13, 2023 by hurtnowitzki

Recruitment, the Key To Success.

Deion Sanders is once again changing the face of college football. The difference is, this time he’s left his cleats and jersey behind for a headset and tennis shoes. Throughout the past four years Deion or “Coach Prime” has taken a rather different route into coaching at the collegiate level some would even call mystifying. Coach Prime has now coached two individual collegiate football teams and has had success with both programs. 

Due to this success, Coach Prime has displayed his ability of powerful recruitment which in effect consistently leads to establishing what is known as a winning culture in programs that haven’t been able to find ways to win for some time. When coaches or other high-valued leaders assume their roles in any organization, their goal is to improve on their predecessors’ performance by implementing their own ideas. If the organization has done a lot of losing, the new leaders can make their mark by establishing a “winning culture.” 

Five-time best-selling author, Nathan Jamail via his website defines winning culture as “a culture that sets the stage for positive attitudes, high expectations, and successful performances.”

Recruitment is an essential aspect of achieving the successful performance portion of building a winning culture in college sports. Recruitment contains a few different levels. First and foremost the attraction phase. As the offseason begins universities all across the country will begin to plan and soon execute their shot at signing many of the nation’s highest-rated recruits.

This typically occurs in the form of a letter, a phone call, or even an email to show their interest in the respective recruit. Next, we move to the engagement phase. During this engagement phase coaching staff reach out to the recruits they want on their team. In efforts to secure the recruit coaches would invite them to visit the campus to get their initial sample of what the university has to offer. 

Coach Prime is equipped with one of the best personal recruitment arsenals in all of college football. It’s safe to say he is no stranger to having to evaluate talent effectively due to his successful athletic career where he was drafted fifth overall of the 1989 NFL draft class and flourished during a 14-year NFL career which landed him in the Pro Football Hall of Fame. It seems as if this ability to evaluate talent has transferred from his athletic career into aiding him now just as much as being a head coach.

Another attribute that aids Coach Prime’s recruitment techniques, which he obtained due to his legendary athletic career is his popularity. Before the Coach Prime Era, Deion “PrimeTime” Sanders was a Hall of Fame athlete as well as a TV personality known across the country. Today, because of his popularity it provides him with the element of celebrity endorsement when recruiting.

In “Celebrity Endorsements: a literature review and research agenda” authors Lars Bergkvist and Kris Qiang Zhao propose the definition, “a celebrity endorsement is an agreement between an indi- vidual who enjoys public recognition (a celebrity) and an entity (e.g., a brand) to use the celebrity for the purpose of promoting the entity.”

Coach Prime’s element of celebrity endorsement essentially sweetens the pot when he aims to attract recruits. Coach Prime always has had the lights on him, and they shine a little more now that he is coaching. Stepping into coaching his light begins to widen also making his players shine within the media significantly more than if they were to go play at another organization. This increased exposure aids players within Coach Prime’s team with many opportunities they may not have the chance to explore if they were to play elsewhere. 

After the engagement phase recruits are to weigh the options and soon enough to be prepared to commit the school for the upcoming school year and football season.

Once the recruits join the program. The following portion falls under the positive attitudes and high expectations category. Essentially setting a standard, which is crucial to establishing a winning culture. Ensuring players know and understand what it takes to reach the goal of significant improvement compared to previous seasons under former leadership. 

“Instilling a winning culture requires changing how people think about the company and altering habitual behaviors.” 

Although it may appear like it doesn’t fall directly into the recruiting category, to change mindsets in efforts to build this winning culture in a team requires the coach to recruit players that are both coachable and receptive and then successfully integrate them with the team they’ve taken leadership over.

Due to poor performance in previous seasons, a team could be lacking in numerous areas, as stated before recruitment could play a huge factor. However, morale within the team plays a key role as well. For a team to consistently want to improve there must be a goal that as a collective they all want to achieve. Whether the motivation is to prove the media wrong or simply change the organization’s public image in and out. Coach Prime has shown his ability to effectively instill this prosperous mindset into the teams he’s coached.

“On the eve of his two-year anniversary with the program, Sanders reflected on the changes he’s seen at Jackson State (3-0, 1-0). It’s fitting that two years under Sanders comes after a dominant 66-24 victory over Grambling State on Saturday. The second game of Sanders’ tenure began with a 33-28 victory over Grambling State, JSU’s first victory over their SWAC rival since Nov. 3, 2012.

“These guys that we have in the locker room now have a burning desire to make it to the next level,” Sanders said. “They take this game seriously. They know this game can rescue generations and give wealth to generations. They’re serious about it, unlike when we first got here.“

This is just the tip of the iceberg of what Coach Prime’s amazing recruiting skills have done for not only the teams he’s coached but also how he’s changed the game of Collegiate Football.

References

Bergkvsit, L., Qiang Zhao, K. (2015, December 26). Celebrity Endorsements: a literature review and research agenda. Routledge https://web-s-ebscohost-com.ezproxy.rowan.edu/ehost/pdfviewer/pdfviewer?vid=0&sid=a0fc7d40-2ca9-4a11-89be-c42e99e8d354%40redis

Meehan, P., Rigby, D., & Rogerss, P. (2014, August 7). Creating and sustaining a winning culture. Harvard Business Review. https://hbr.org/2008/02/creating-and-sustaining-a-winn-1 

Newsome, L. (2022, September 20). How Deion Sanders changed Jackson State from “pickup football” to “burning desire” to make NFL. Clarion Ledger. https://www.clarionledger.com/story/sports/college/jackson-state/2022/09/20/deion-sanders-first-two-years-jackson-state-football/69503378007/ 

https://web-s-ebscohost-com.ezproxy.rowan.edu/ehost/pdfviewer/pdfviewer?vid=0&sid=a0fc7d40-2ca9-4a11-89be-c42e99e8d354%40redis

Posted in Definition Rewrite | Leave a comment

Self-Reflective-Thad711

Posted on December 13, 2023 by thad711

Core Value 1. My work demonstrates that I used a variety of social and interactive practices that involve recursive stages of exploration, discovery, conceptualization, and development.

When working on my annotated bibliography I believe I used the skills of exploration and discovery as I searched for articles online to help use in my argument essays and for information on my hypothesis. Interacting with Professor Hodges on the conferences has helped me find some very good and well informed articles that I struggled to find at times. Searching and finding better and better sources helped me develop my hypothesis into an overall better topic to argue about. The annotated bibliography was like a backbone of information and I used it to help pick out different articles for each of my essays.

Core Value 2. My work demonstrates that I read critically, and that I placed texts into conversation with one another to create meaning by synthesizing ideas from various discourse communities. 

Working on my Definition argument and its rewrite really helped me to synthesize ideas from different articles and place them into one essay and make it work. I used multiple definitions and hypothesizes from all these articles and helped merge them together to create an argument essay. Citing authors from these different articles also helped back up my arguments and the hypothesis and topic behind them.

Core Value 3. My work demonstrates that I rhetorically analyzed the purpose, audience, and contexts of my own writing and other texts and visual arguments.

On the purposeful summaries assignment I believe it helped me to rhetorically analyze the purpose of the texts and summarize it best for the audience. Summarizing these texts helped me with my own writing and allowed me to cut down big sentences into shorter and more meaningful sentences to not bore the audience.

Core Value 4: My work demonstrates that I have met the expectations of academic writing by locating, evaluating, and incorporating illustrations and evidence to support my own ideas and interpretations.

In my Rebuttal argument I used illustrations like graphs to help show the relationships between two things and helped my argument to get people on my side. I also located better sources to argue against and other sources to beef up my argument and give it back up.

Core Value 5. My work demonstrates that I respect my ethical responsibility to represent complex ideas fairly and to the sources of my information with appropriate citation. 

This was well represented in my Causal Rewrite as I used appropriate citations and went back and forth on fixing and correcting specific ideas I had and the sources of my information all labeled correctly in my references on each argument.

Posted in X Archive | 1 Comment

New Hypothesis—chich

Posted on December 12, 2023 by davidbdale

The Boeing 737 MAX passenger airliner was grounded worldwide between March 2019 and December 2020 – longer in many jurisdictions – after 346 people died in two crashes: Lion Air Flight 610 on October 29, 2018 and Ethiopian Airlines Flight 302 on March 10, 2019. The U.S. Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) resisted grounding the aircraft until March 13, 2019, when it received evidence of accident similarities. By then, 51 other regulators had already grounded the plane,[3] and by March 18, 2019, all 387 of the aircraft in service were grounded.

This Wikipedia entry is the germ of a counterintuitive Hypothesis I will explore for my semester-long research project, which I am condensing into just a few days.

The problem that crashed the MAX in 2018 and again in 2019 began with an innovation that turned tragic. Boeing developed a very powerful bit of airline safety protocol that gave the aircraft the power to respond to imminent engine stalls by initiating corrective measures after seizing control of the plane from the pilots.

There were three problems with this program. 1. The sensors that indicated to the plane that a stall was imminent were prone to failure. 2. The pilots were given NO POWER to override the plane’s “corrective action” if the pilots knew the sensors had failed and that the plane WAS NOT in danger of stalling. 3. Boeing did not notify pilots of the new protocol, did not train them to expect it, and did not correct the “clusterfuck” of problems following the 2018 crash and before the 2019 crash.

What’s counterintuitive about these episodes?

Just about everything. By introducing a CORRECTION to a problem that rarely occurs, Boeing had overcorrected. By trusting to a single device to trigger what turned out to be a catastrophic overcorrection, Boeing had ELIMINATED any chance that the pilots could prevent the crashes. There was little need to correct the problem in the first place. The pilots who could likely have avoided the problem if an actual stall had been imminent were rendered powerless. AND the faulty sensors were not even responding to REAL EMERGENCIES.

Why did it happen? That’s well worth asking and would provide ample reason to examine WHAT happened (Definition/Categorical), WHY it happened (Causal) and HOW TO AVOID IT (Rebuttal/Ethical/Proposal).

The Hypothesis should look something like: In a rush to beat the competition, Boeing hurried a flawed innovation into its 737 MAX. While passenger safety should be the ultimate goal, innovation can be deadly unless it’s an actual improvement to aircraft design.

Start by establishing the facts. The aircraft. The airline industry. What pilots can do. How innovation usually occurs. How rare crashes are. How extremely rare fatal crashes are. Whatever else you think is relevant to the topic. Gather sources while you’re at it and start adding them to a new Proposal+5. When you have a handle on the topic, produce your first 1000-word Definition/Categorical argument and submit it for feedback. You’ll need to show responsiveness to feedback for any argument that goes into your Portfolio.

Good luck.

Posted in My Hypothesis | 1 Comment