Open Strong- torthey

Gerrymandering; the legal, yet undemocratic practice of redistricting areas in order to give power to an areas minority party should be fought back against in the courts. One Tufts University professor, Moon Dustin, has found a way to do so via a training program where mathematicians are trained to become expert witnesses for gerrymandering trials. Already, the Metric Geometry and Gerrymandering Group has garnered  tremendous interest with this charged political climate and has already set up conferences in California, Texas, Wisconsin and North Carolina.

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One Response to Open Strong- torthey

  1. davidbdale says:

    This is strong, Torthey.
    You identify a thorny conflict immediately. The process is legal but undemocratic. Readers will automatically react to that challenge. You don’t hesitate to help them decide what SHOULD be done, so in your very first sentence you nail down the problem and advocate for a solution, even suggesting the venue for the battle: the courts.

    One Tufts University professor, Moon Dustin, has found a way to do so via a training program where mathematicians are trained to become expert witnesses for gerrymandering trials.

    In a second draft, could you make Moon Duchin a more active participant in her own program with an active verb? Here’s the gist of the sentence.

    Tufts University professor Moon Duchin TRAINS mathematicians to become expert witnesses.

    You have one more sentence in your budget of four sentences to explain that math provides undeniable evidence of districts that unfairly give electoral advantages to the minority party.

    I encourage you to revise for an upgrade.
    So far, 2/3

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