Definition Argument-therealmoana

                How Much Information Is Too Much When It Comes To Facebook

P1. Facebook and all technology is a luxury and entertainment item in our lives. Our society revolves around internet and technology. If we like it or not our world is evolving and making advancements that force us to use technology. Social media plays an important role in impacting our views and beliefs and allowing us to seek help, advice and guidance from people we have never meet. Facebook allows anyone with an account to view their “friends” page and find any information they would like to know about the person. That is why it is extremely important when posting personal information about yourself that we keep it limited. When a person’s “Facebook friend” tags you in a picture, your friends followers not only can see your account but also look at what you have posted. We never know who is on the other end of the screen and what information they are looking for that will result in dangers. In the article “Dangers of Myspace and Facebook with Sexual Predators” by Micah McDunnigan, he talks about sexual predators hiding behind fake profiles to lure victims, using their profile information to stalk the victims in real life or evening hacking into account to blackmail them.

P2. Sexual predators have become very good hackers. A recent story by the Associated Press says predators in Indonesia were using Facebook to collect young teenage girls, and then kidnap and traffic them. When a 14-year-old girl received a Facebook friend request from an older man, she accepted it out of curiosity. The girl was quickly attracted to the attention the older man was giving her. They exchanged phone numbers and the predator convinced the young teen to meet him at a mall. This led to the young girl facing up against a 24 year old predator, he kidnapped, drugged and raped her. According to the article, there were seven more girls that month who fell into the same exact trap. Young teenagers are too trusting in Facebook. They think no harm can happen in talking to random people online. Teenagers have to be very carful who they are allowing to follow them and how much personal information they are posting.

P3. Before Facebook became popular sexual predators would have to leave their house seeking their next victim. Now they do not even have to leave their house lowering their chances of anyone seeing their face and getting themselves caught. Young adults are prime targets they are at a stage in their lives were their parents give them enough freedom where parents are not hovering over their child’s every move. They also act on impulse causing them to post everything that comes to mind even when they know it might get them in trouble. Young adults do not notice that even posting things about their personality traits or likes and dislikes might draw predators. Predators often target a certain group that attracts them. It might be blonde hair, blue eyes, and girls that have bubbly personalities. It also might be brown hair, brown eyed girls that are attracted to having the spotlight on themselves and like attention. It all depends on what the predator is attracted to. It usually is related to someone that has come through their lives and has made a big enough impact, either in a good or bad way, that has made them go for a certain type.

P4. It is challenging to detect who can be a threat or not on Facebook, especially when teenagers main concern is how many “followers or friends” they have on Facebook. Teenagers have this outlook that if they have the most friends on social media they are popular in real life. This is one thing that sex offenders look for, the number of friends or followers the at risk teens have, if the number is high they know that they will accept anyone. Teenagers need to make sure they are only allowing those they communicate with in the real world to follow them on Facebook. Predators may also use the contact information from the victims profile to arrange meetings in real life, where then they can strike and victimize their target. This is why it is extremely important when setting up a Facebook account that you manage your privacy settings where only the people you befriend can see your posts.

P5. Girls are considered to be the most at risk compared to boys for Internet sex crimes. Girls who become sexually active during early ages are vulnerable because they were most likely involved with older males. Boy who identify as gay or are questioning their sexuality are also at risk because they might find be trying to find answers. This result in them turning to the Internet to find answers to questions about sexuality or meet potential romantic partners, thats when they meet adults who exploit them according to “Myths,realities, and implications“.

P6. Sexual Predators can use Facebook to take their actions a step further to physically stalk their victims. This is why when posting it is very important to keep in mind to avoid posting where events are taking place and at what times and turn the location off in your privacy settings. In Micah McDunnigan’s article he states the dangers of posting personal information and interests and schedules. Predators can then use this information to locate and stalk their victims in the real world and not just online. According to an article in the Journal of Adolescent Health quoted by Enough is Enough, 65 percent of online sex offenders used social media sites to collect home and school information about their victims. Posting the at risk teens location makes it especially easy for a predators to find them.

P7. Facebook has become the “go to” social media networking site in the world allowing people to connect with family members from across the country, meeting people with the same beliefs and views either politically or spiritually, or reuniting with those you went to high school or college years ago. Facebook receives hundreds of new members everyday, it has hit a billion users after nine years since it first launched. Even though there is no way to entirely eliminate the dangers of predators on Facebook users can take precautions from becoming victims. Users should take steps to make sure there privacy settings are on and only people they know in the real world can see their profile and what they are posting. By having a secure password and changing it often users can lower the chances of someone hacking them. Finally users can protect themselves by only talking to people they know outside of social media.

Work Citied

O’Donnell, Andy. “Know the Dangers of Oversharing on Facebook.” Lifewire. N.p., n.d. Web. 27 Feb. 2017.

Manning, Allee. “Is Using Facebook A Free Speech Right? Supreme Court Weighs Case.” Vocativ. Vocativ, 01 Mar. 2017. Web. 06 Mar. 2017.

Amedie, Jacob, “ e Impact of Social Media on Society” (2015). Advanced Writing: Pop Culture Intersections. Paper 2. h p://scholarcommons.scu.edu/engl_176/2

Kotenko, Jam. “Scary Statistics Show That Sex Offenders Are Taking over Social Media.” Digital Trends. N.p., 02 Apr. 2013. Web. 06 Mar. 2017.

Writer, Leaf Group. “Dangers of MySpace and Facebook With Sexual Predators.” Our Everyday Life. Our Everyday Life, 16 Feb. 2013. Web. 06 Mar. 2017.

The mass media and American adolescents’ health. Brown, Jane D et al. Journal of Adolescent Health , Volume 31 , Issue 6 , 153 – 170

This entry was posted in A07: Definition/Categorical Argument, therealmoana. Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Definition Argument-therealmoana

  1. davidbdale says:

    This is fairly strong, Moana. It keeps its focus moderately well on the narrow thesis of your definition argument: how much information is too much? Where it wanders off that path, it suffers. My first advice would be to bear down on the details of the information shared. We don’t actually have a single example, an illustration, an anecdote, to bring to our attention the dangers of posting certain types of information.

    As for grammar and style, your first exercise should be to eliminate every instance of YOU or YOUR or YOURS. You’ve identified your target group as teenage social media users. Once you do that, you need to use the subjects “teens” or “at-risk teens” or “innocent teens” in every sentence where you currently use “you.”

    We can work together on a couple rounds of quick revisions if you like. The first job will be to find a substitute for P5. It’s good material, but it belongs in a Causal Argument. If you could find instead an attention-getting episode (something from the news that illustrates the dangers of “too much information), you’ll be creating a much stronger impulse for readers to follow your argument. Put that “hook” at the top of your essay to create immediate interest. Then eliminate P5.

    Once you do that, I have more specific advice to help with each of your other paragraphs. Put the essay back into Feedback Please when you’re ready.

  2. davidbdale says:

    I’ve highlighted a few grammar and usage errors in just two paragraphs, Moana. Be sure to find and correct the many other instances of the same problems in other paragraphs. You write a lot of runons. If you’re not sure what they are or how to fix them, please ask me.

  3. davidbdale says:

    Let’s see what specific examples of “too much information” you’ve provided.

    P1. None

    P2. Phone numbers. [But you also instruct readers to friend only people they know in real life. Presumably, if we follow that rule, we can share our personal information. So, which advice should we be taking?]

    P3. “things about their personality traits or likes and dislikes.” Not very specific.
    “blonde hair, blue eyes, and girls that have bubbly personalities” This means “Don’t post a picture of yourself.” Is that what you mean? It could be, but you haven’t said so. Do you recommend youthful facebook users refrain from posting pictures of themselves?

    P4. Number of friends. This can’t be hidden from view, so it doesn’t qualify as information that can be withheld. On the other hand, you are again suggesting that youthful users friend only people they know in real life, which again would make your other advice about privacy unnecessary.

    P5. “where events are taking place and at what times . . . interests and schedules” Specifically on facebook, this would prohibit responding to Event Invitations. Is that what you’re recommending? You could do so very specifically, but you don’t.
    “home and school information” You seem almost allergic to specific language, Moana. Do you mean street addresses? Names of schools attended? Whether they walk to school, are driven, take a bus? Whether they wait to be picked up after sports or lessons? PLEASE use specific details particularly in an argument like yours that is ALL ABOUT what specific details to WITHHOLD.

    P6. None.
    But you do offer advice NOT ABOUT what to share.
    1. Use privacy settings
    2. Friend only people known in the real world.
    3. Secure password to avoid hacking.
    Would these steps eliminate the need to be careful about what information to post and what to withhold?
    Don’t you want to warn vulnerable youth not to “check in” at their current location?
    What about being tagged in someone else’s photos? Can that lead to compromised security?

    Put yourself back into Feedback Please after you’ve made substantial revisions, Moana.

  4. davidbdale says:

    Your Works Cited is inaccurate in both directions, Moana. It lists several sources that you haven’t actually cited in your argument. It also fails to list at least one: The Journal of Adolescent Health is cited, but the article isn’t in the Works Cited.

  5. davidbdale says:

    Improvements noted.
    Regraded.

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