The definition of the word “gerrymandering” in regards to government purposes is the manipulation of electoral boundaries to favor a certain party, or class. When we think about anything that has to do with government we think of lawyers, politicians, and senators. Gerrymandering is not an issue most think of on a daily basis, but professor Moon Duchin at the University of Tufts believes she has a solution to this problem. Instead of turning to political officials to cease gerrymandering, she believes we should turn to math experts to define electoral boundaries. This unprecedented idea could be just what we need to end the unfair borderlines.
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As an experiment, Chance, I’m going to remove the extra language to find the gist of your sentences.
1. “Gerrymandering” is the manipulation of electoral boundaries to favor a certain party or class.
2. The business of government is conducted by lawyers and politicians.
3. Gerrymandering gets little attention.
4. Tufts professor Moon Duchin has solved the problem.
5. Mathematicians, not politicians, should define electoral boundaries.
6. She’s right.
Can you build some passion, logic, and ethical judgement into these sentences? You’ll need to point out that favoring a certain party or class is undemocratic if that class is not the majority. You’ll need to place the blame for the unfairness on those politicians and lawyers that created the manipulated districts. Then be sure to cast the mathematicians as the liberators who will rescue us from the injustice. The raw materials are here in your outline.
I encourage you to revise for an upgrade.
So far, 1/3