A Good Ransom Note Makes a Good Argument
- Bold Clear Premise (Thesis, Hypothesis)
- Step-by-Step Logical “Proof”
- Specific Details to emphasize and illustrate the reasoning
Does This Qualify as an Effective Proposal Argument?
Yeah, that’s a horrible Ransom Note. And it would make a horrible argument of any sort. It has no clear premise, follows no logic, is so short on details it does not clearly communicate the consequences of following or failing to follow instructions.
Does this qualify?
This is more like it, a clear thesis (Proposal Argument: deliver money or lose your husband.), full of specific details and bold claims, it makes its purpose known and identifies the consequences for failure to follow its excellent advice.
Reply below how this comparison of two Ransom Notes helps you understand the value of very specific claims and illustrative language.
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Counterintuitive Fall 2023 
Comparing the two ransom notes, it’s evident that the second note is much more effective in conveying its message compared to the first one. Here’s how the value of specific claims and illustrative language becomes apparent:
Clear Purpose: The second note states its purpose explicitly – to persuade the recipient to deliver money. This clarity immediately grabs the reader’s attention and leaves no room for ambiguity. In contrast, the first note lacks a clear purpose or demand, making it less compelling. And paraphrasing his colleague as a third person in the letter does not help either.
Specific Details: The second note provides specific details by mentioning the demand for money, the consequence of not complying and clear instructions on how to comply. This specificity makes the threat more credible and alarming. The first note lacks such details, leaving the recipient wondering about the intentions of the sender.
Illustrative Language: The second note uses vivid language to paint a clear picture of the consequence, evoking strong emotions and fear. In contrast, the first note lacks such illustrative language, making it less impactful.
In summary, the comparison highlights how specific claims and illustrative language can significantly enhance the effectiveness of a message, especially in a scenario like a ransom note where clarity, urgency, and emotional impact are crucial for the desired outcome.
This comparison helps me understand the value of specific claims and illustrative language, because it shows how telling the reader exactly what they mean and are describing will help them understand the text. The first note doesn’t make any specific claims about the situation, so the reader may not know the exact details. But the second note writes the exact details of the situation and therefore makes the reader understand the severity of it. With specific claims, readers can follow your writing easily and understand the point you make.
The first ransom note showed very poorly written introductions with vague assumptions and no clear indication on what the writers main focus was. It was overall to vague and the writer didn’t prove or make his point clear enough. The second ransom note on the contrary displayed excellent use of when to effectively state his point. The second ransom note indicated and stated his intentions within the first sentences of the letter. This is the proper way to format our writing proposals in the future as it shows clear and concise views from the reader which leads the reader to gain credibility.
looking at the ransom notes it is apparent that the 2nd one is better because it creates a clear statement about the purpose of the note, In the first one the grammar and spelling is sloppy and there are no specific demands or claims made. The second note clearly states how much cash, where to drop it off, and even offer proof that they have her husband. The clear difference between the two is that the second one is clear and precise with its claims and purpose.
In order to have a strong thesis you need to have a strong proposal. The first ransom note was hiding behind the “lines” so to speak meaning that the people who abducted Mrs. Robinsons husband were not getting to the point very well. In the second note the kidnappers were very quick to get to the point. The second note provides specific details on when and where they expect the money, and if Mrs. Robinson doesn’t follow directions they explained the actions that would be conducted. The second ransom note has a stronger thesis then the first one. That is the difference between the two ransom notes.
This comparison of the two ransom notes helped me better understand the value of very specific claims and illustrative language because the first ransom note is kind of just rambling on (I tend to do that). The second ransom note is clear and precise and gets the point across quickly. Writing specific claims helps a reader understand the writing a whole lot better. The second note states what they are going to do and they state very clear instructions while the first note kind of just sounds like a joke. The second note uses illustrative language because it says that if they need further proof they will cut off his ring finger and that leaves a picture behind in your head.
By comparing these two ransom notes and the illustrative language they use, I’d be a lot more afraid if I got the second ransom note rather than the first. The first sounds as if they’re not sure about what they’re doing whereas the second note is very threatening but that makes it clear and concise. The words used definitely make a difference on how “believable” the notes are. Your claims need to be bold and the claims in the first note are very weak. A connection I made was if we are going to make people believe our arguments in our Hypothesis, we for sure need to make sure that the claim we are making is not weak.
In comparison of the two ransom notes, it is evident that the second note conveys a more direct and clear message to the reader.
The first note seems like it is trying to lightly suggest to give the money for her husbands safety, it is worded in a way that it almost seems more confusing as they write about how this will impact her husband and the outcome, it does not provide full clarity of the situation.
The second note makes it very clear what their purpose is, and directly state the money they want, with clear directions. They also directly stated to not contact the police, and provided a exact amount of money and drop off unlike the first note.
You see more of a graphic approach in the second note, while the first used more suggestive language.
In summary, when a statement is used in a more direct and clear manner, it is easier for the reader to understand what is being relayed to them. Clarity in language is very important as well as how you word your statements, this was evident when comparing the two notes.
The two ransom notes help me understand the value of specific information because the second note is much more direct. The second note is much more direct with how it goes about relaying information, while the first note putters about and wastes time and words to deliver a half-baked notation. “Dear Mrs. Robinson, we have your husband and are holding him for ransom.” this is the best way to deliver a concise statement as it cuts directly to the heart of the matter and leaves little room for error when being read by the intended audience. “Will greatly impact your husband and his comfort” This statement comes from the first note and provides no agency to what is going to happen through its language compared to the second note’s statement “Will cause us to injure him very severely.” which provides the clear-cut facts of the matter. This is needed for an essay, and I do think I understand how this can be applied to our writing in making specific claims.
By comparing the notes is pretty easy to takeaway that the first note is less effective then the second in conveying its purpose and details. For example in the first ransom note there is no clear argument and premise while in the second note it’s very clear. Another example would be the arguments conveyed in both of the notes, in the second note it thoroughly explains what they are asking for while in the first a never give a clear demand. To summarize the Second note would be more likely to workout and to get the ransom by showing the clear effect of not paying up. While in the first ransom note the ones paying may be left confused and not take it seriously.
Comparing the two ransom notes makes it apparent how ineffective the first note is. While the first note speaks in vague terms about the siltation of the husband the second is to the point and direct and makes it clear what the rest of the note is about.
The second note also follows up with clear and direct instructions relating to the thesis the words do its job and conveys the danger of the situation. while if you read the first note you are still digesting a bunch of wordy sentences and you cant really tell what they want.
The first ransom note is vague and never gets to the point. Originally I thought people wrote like that because they are trying to reach a word count. But when Professor Hodges said they have the same amount of words that surprised me. Maybe it is a psychological thing that people write differently and less effectively when one of their main goals is to meet a word count instead of developing a good talking point. While the second one works better because it is direct and leaves no interpretation I still think it could be shorter while also getting to the point. Any situation where I’m writing a ransom note I wouldn’t be worried about my writing.
My ransom note would be:
Mrs. Robinson we have your husband and we will kill him if you don’t give us $18,000. Any contact with the authorities will result in his immediate death. Don’t wait around we will cut off his fingers.
Comparing the two ransom notes:
The first ransom note is too prolonged and doesn’t get to the point. It claims to say we have your husband if you do not follow our elongated instructions, we can’t promise his safety. Why not just say we have your husband follow our instructions or he dies?
In the second ransom note is a great example of a purposeful argument. It doesn’t waste time with unnecessary words or steps. It clearly tells Mrs. Robinson that we have your husband and holding him for ransom, he is safe but if you do not follow our instructions, he won’t be. Do this and everything will be ok.
Though the main premise of both of these ransom notes are the same their delivery and impact are completely different. From a readers perspective the first is extremally dragged out and vague, which leaves you confused as to the true intention of the note. With the second note they message is communicated clearly and there is no room for the mind to wonder in any other direction except from the direction the author want’s you to be in.
As the writer, a note like the first would not fully get the outcome wanted because of this weak persuasion and “authority. With the second note, there is a stronger present of “authority” and more persuasive, so it will receive the outcome intended.
Looking at the two different ransom notes, there are two different types of notes. The first note is ineffective and vague. The second note gives a clear case relating to the husband and what needs to be done to get him out of danger. The second note is far more clear and is much easier to take seriously than the first note.
By comparing the two ransom notes, it is clear that the second one is much more serious and gives a detailed description of the consequences which the husband would suffer should the wife not withdraw the money from their accounts. Through descriptive language, the author of the ransom note was more likely to receive the money from the man’s wife since she now knows what will happen to him and will be scared. With providing a description of the expected amount of money, which accounts to withdraw the money from, where to place the money, and the information about not getting the police involved provides the reader of the note with more information. With the lack of information in the first note, the kidnappers will most likely not receive whatever they were hoping for.
The comparison of the two letters let me know how precise I should be in my introduction. I need to use descriptive language and not “fluff” words. The clearer the introduction is, the more the reader is likely to read.
The two ransom notes show a clear difference of what is good and what is failed. In ransom note 1 the author portrays very choppy parts of information therefore, it does not hook a reader. The author left out major details and created no valid information. If I was a receiver of this note I would most likely throw it in my trash. In ransom note 2, the author uses descriptive clear language, hooking the reader of what they are going to talk about and what they want.
09/27
The two ransom notes give me an idea of how to make a claim in my writing and the illustrative language that I will use throughout the text. These don’t really count as reason notes as there just words that a person put together to make it sound threatening. Other than that the notes gave me a good idea of what writing is about and how it’s supposed to look when finished. And how they are able to understand what is happening through the text.
The first ransom note waste’s the reader’s time, which is not in the best interests of the kidnappers. From the kidnappers perspective, they want to send a clear message to the wife, which is exactly what the second one does. The first one doesn’t even give the wife directions on what she should do, it only tells her what she shouldn’t do. If the wife were to receive the first note, the most logical thing for her to due (even assuming that she believes them) would be to do nothing, which again is not in the best interest of the kidnappers. The second one gives the wife clear directions so that they can actually get what they want from her.
The comparison of ransom notes are very different, the first dragged on and had too many unneeded words in there which also made it harder to understand and what exactly they wanted. But in the second ransom note they made it very clear what they wanted and had a clear goal in made making it much easier to understand and tell what they want. The second one also seems much more serious unlike the first note you cannot really tell if it’s a hostage situation or not and wouldn’t be taken very serious at first.
when comparing each set of notes, note 2 demonstrated more precise and persuasive claims. The value of specific claims in note 2, grabs the reader’s attention and directly portrays to the reader what is going on, rather than assuming. The illustrative language within note 2 being so specific with detail, allows the reader to feel and imagine the point of view of the character reading the note.
When comparing the two ransom notes, the second one is far more demanding and paints a clear picture as to what will happen if the demands are not met. The lack of specific claims in the first note provides no details as to what other than that they want money from you. The second note provides the details as to when and where they want the money to be. second note also provides illustrative language that paints a clear picture as to what will happen if the demands are not met. Whereas, the first note provides very broad claims that don’t have any evidence to back up the severity of the note.
The difference in these two ransom notes major. the first one is not direct and takes too long to get to the point. The second one really shows you how a ransom note is supposed to be. The person who wrote the first note was probably writing their first ransom. Rookie mistake. If you don’t hook the reader in the first paragraph then they don’t have to read the second one. Put some real juice in the hook to each the reader to read the rest of your work.
Looking at the two notes, the problem with the first note is that it ‘sugar coats’ the scenario to a point where it could confuse the receiver of the note. In my opinion, in making a note, it would be better to make clear, bold claims as early as possible. In other words get straight to the point. This is why the second note is better because even though it may be more explicit, the instructions are clear and the consequences are clear which would convince the wife to act on the situation. Unlike the first note, the wife will probably ignore the situation.
Listening to the different ransom notes the first was vague and didn’t get right to the point had to read between the lines. The second ransom note had more urgency and got right to the point. Discriptive language in the second note lets the audience know that they mean business as the first one sounded like it could be a prank. The second ransom note went into depth about the amount of money needed and that if not received husband will suffer the consequences.
After comparing the two ransom notes, I feel more threatened by the second note than the first. The wordiness in the first note makes me not want to continue reading because it is not as serious, but the second note really grabs my attention because the clearness states the consequences if the wife does not comply. The importance of specific claims is so the reader knows exactly what is going on without having to think much about it. “We have captured your husband” compared to “writing to you about your husband and his whereabouts.” With the clearness of the second ransom, the wife knows her husband has been abducted, but the first one it can be “I saw him at the grocery store,” so not as serious of a situation.
After viewing and hearing the two ransom, at first I wanted to try and be optimistic that the “writer” would’ve been able to get his point across. However the more the professor read the note the for every word he read optimism continued to dwindle. Once we dug into the more straight forward ransom note all claims were made clearly and quite impossible to miss. With that being said the value of specific claims and illustrative language need to be taken very serious in order for you to make sure that you get your point across and leave no “grey area” for the reader to misunderstand
I have learned that the importance of clear and concise writing which is evidenced by the differences in the two ransom notes. The first one is not clear as to what is going to happen due to its poor word choice and loose claim. The second one gets straight to the point with detailed steps and a point to writing. Their expectations are also more detailed in order to reach their goal. The first is not, which causes the ransom recipient to take the note less serious. I can apply this to my writing by trying to write a clearer thesis to create a better point.
upon examining the two ransom notes it becomes evident that they represent two contrasting types of communication. the first note appears to lack effectiveness and clarity coming across as vague. the second ransom note it provides cogent evidence with specific instruction about her husband and what will happen if they don’t comply the significant is more credible than the initial one.